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Thursday, August 31, 2006

Stuff Portrait Friday - Our amazing sacrifices

Miss Thang over at Random and Odd wishes to see the following:

-what we support
-what we sacrifice
-something red


Just when I feel like throwing in the towel and taking a nap in the middle of the day, I remember that this bad boy needs to be paid for. The hubs and I worked super hard to get this thing. I sure as shit am not gonna let this bitch get foreclosed upon.

This is what I sacrificed. I miss the beach. As previously mentioned in my post below, I miss the beach big much. I miss the waves. I miss the music. I miss the sand. I miss it all. Big sigh.

This welcome mat is my holiday welcome mat. I am tres excited that the holidays are approaching. Well, they are sorta approaching. I am kinda rushing them because I can't wait to decorate the house and get an obnoxiously large tree. So this is my red.

So did you play, bitches?

Huh?

Did ya?

Elizabeth at 10:45 PM

10comments

In my lifetime

Today I turn 33. Actually in exactly 59 minutes I will turn 33. I have already celebrated my birthday with my hubs and mom and I am not one for like a big deal being made, so today is sort of a quiet day. I just thought I would put down what I have learned in 33 years. This list could be short or long depending on what comes into my mind over the course of the day, so here goes.

-If you give a dog a ham bone and he eats like half of it, he will puke half his body weight the next day.
-Apparently having children is not what makes one's boobs hit the floor. I am living proof of that.
-You are never too old to freak out a little when your dad is having major surgery and you are like far away.
-I do not, in fact, know everything.
-However, I am like way closer to knowing everything than some of the dipshits I encounter on a regular basis so that does give me reason to feel superior.
-Marrying a man with children is just hard.
-Living in the same town with those children and their mother is the stupidest thing one could do. (Before you even go into what is "best for the kids" just suck it.)
-Expensive cars are not all they are cracked up to be.
-Pets make life way more fun.
-Gilmore Girls is just good tv.
-Actually giving birth to a child does not, in fact, make you an expert on parenting. The examples I could produce on this one are staggering and shockingly, right here in my town.
-Two ugly people somehow make cute kids. I no get that.
-The amount of butter soaked popcorn one eats at night is directly proportional to how difficult it is to get one's rings on the next day.
-Men do, indeed, think that laundry does itself, puts itself away and that we really have nothing to do with it.
-Fashion designers really do not get that not all of us are not the size of Jennifer Aniston.
-One's self-centeredness does not necessarily leave as one gets older.
-You teach people how to treat you. (Yep, that is straight from Dr. Phil, but holy hell is that true.)
-Sometimes members of your family make the absolute best friends.
-Internet shopping is truly the best invention EVER.
-Second to that are magazine subscriptions.
-Karma will so come back on everyone's ass. I have gotten my fair share for the fucked up shit I have done in my life, so I am hoping that perhaps she is done with me.
-You do not need to physically know someone to consider them a friend.
-Having your kids do chores is not putting them into slave labor. It is teaching them the value of work and helping them understand that everything takes time and effort.
-I really think that the minimum age to acquire credit should be 21 at the very youngest. That would have solved a lot of problems in my life.
-If you allow a man to hit you once, he will without a fucking doubt, do it again.
-Marriage is just hard. Worth it, but hard.
-You can pick your nose, you can pick a festering zit on your chin, you can pick your drawers out of your ass, but sadly you can NOT pick your neighbors.
-No one really gets me the way my husband does. That is a good thing and also quite sad for him that he has been reduced to how my brain works.
-I love nothing more than to revolt people by calling my Filipino husband a gook. I mean, that is big fun right there. (Again, my husband is 6'3" and could crush me like a bug so before you flip out about racial this and racial that, realize he could give a shit what I call him, so again, suck it.)
-I will never get over missing the beach. A real beach with waves. Not this sad shit y'all have in the Gulf. Those are NOT waves.
-OJ did it.
-My mom can drive me nuts in a way few people can, but she really does love me to pieces.
-I would sooner cut out my own tongue or never eat pizza again before I would admit I was wrong.
-Having every material thing you want in life does NOT bring happiness.
-However, being really poor at some point in your life does make one realize that money may not buy happiness, but it takes away whole piles of stress.
-True happiness is waking up to a fluffy cat ass in your face and a dog laying in your husband's spot on the pillow like a person all covered up and cozy.

***Edited to add***
When the ex-bitch calls your home, it is good to tell her one of the following:
-Sorry, but your exhusband is between my legs right now and....oh...oh my.....yes...yes....YES!!!
-He can't come to the phone because he had his mind erased regarding any time of his life with you in it.
-Oh, the hubs? He is at the travel agent right now booking our trip to none of your fucking business. Have a nice life, white trash. Boooo yah!

Elizabeth at 11:38 AM

23comments

Monday, August 28, 2006

Yeah, what a surprise.

Sorry but I saw this coming a mile away.

  • Karr Cleared In Ramsey Case
  • Elizabeth at 7:54 PM

    18comments

    Book #42 - Degunking your personal finances

    OK, before Tammy has a stroke, I did not read this book in a day. LOL. I have been reading bits and pieces and putting its steps into my life for months now. I just now finished it today. It was a great book. It speaks to you like you are somewhere between financially ignorant and a CPA. It does not insult your intelligence, but assumes that you may have made some sometimes dumb and costly mistakes. We all have, right? This book helps to put you on the right track, shows you how to set up a budget, figure out what is coming in and going out, helps track your investments whether they be as simple as a 401(k) at work or if you have a wide portfolio that would rival Gordon Gecko. I would recommend this to just about anyone. Even if you have your shit pretty well together, this book can help you in some way. However, if you are like I used to be (a fucking wreck on the financial front), then run, don't walk and go get this book. Or better yet, email me and I'll send you my copy. Enjoy!!!

    Elizabeth at 3:33 PM

    7comments

    Waste of Space Monday - Ray "Isn't the whole world gonna send us money?" Nagin

    Yeah, I so heart this asshole. This would be our illustrious mayor who the people of Orleans Parish RE-ELECTED. Mmmhmmm. Tell me the people down here aren't stupid or all about race. This idiot's latest mutterings have been around Ground Zero. For those of you not in the know, Mayor Black Power was interviewed for 60 Minutes because of the upcoming anniversary of Katrina. As he is standing in front of a flooded house with a car laying on its side A YEAR LATER, he was questioned about the speed in which things here are getting done. He then said something to the effect of "Well, you all can't fix a hole in the ground in New York and it's 5 years later."

    Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......

    Yeah, that is what he said. OK, let's just not even tough on the fact that what he said was completely insensitive to the people who lost wives, husbands, and children at that hole in the ground. He completely missed the interviewers point. He was standing in front of a car on its damn side. I doubt that Mr. Interviewer expected us to have every house fixed, every business back on its feet, every single person back and ready to work (or go back on the welfare system as most of them in this hellpit exist). However, do I think Mr. Interviewer expected to still see ONE YEAR LATER a car that had yet to be towed away? Yeah, I am gonna go with no. I assume THAT is what he meant. And of course, Nagin had to turn it into some platform for him to get his message across about how we have been so mistreated down here. Well, guess what fucktard? If I were a senator or a rep, knowing the New Orleans area is ripe for corruption and lining the pockets of the wrong people, I'd be demanding receipts from your stupid ass before I gave you another God Damn cent.

    Nagin is a complete waste of space in the largest form of the phrase. If he makes one more fucking thing about race (as in no one cares about New Orleans because most of it is African-American) I am gonna go buck. But then again, who is really to blame? Him or the absolute moroonic, uneducated, pieces of shit that re-elected him?

    Elizabeth at 9:26 AM

    12comments

    Taken on my way home from bringing the hubs some dinner


    Yes I was driving.

    No, I did not crash.

    Elizabeth at 12:12 AM

    5comments

    Sunday, August 27, 2006

    Book #41 and my life right now

    Shit, I can't remember the name of the book. It was like "The life of a Drama Queen" or some shit like that. It was ok, not the best, but it passed the time, ya feel me?

    Been working like a fiend lately and the hubs was kind enough to share his cold with me. Thanks for that, dickweed. Luckily it never went below the neck except for part of Saturday when I was just so very tired despite getting adequate sleep. Plus it rained. How is one supposed to work during a huge nap inducing rain storm? That shit just ain't right, ok? Work is going really well. I am surpassing my production requirements by like 75% each week which is fab. Now I am sorta slowing myself down in order to become more accurate and get my shit together so that my work can be done with the smallest amount of effort on my part. Hey, I work hard, but it sure as shit ain't by choice. Make more money and do less? Sign my ass up, mmmkay? I still love the whole working here thing. I do believe I have beat the fuck out of the fact that I have no commute and can work in pjs should I choose to, so we'll just let that lie. But I can. Do that. You know, work in pjs. I'm just sayin....

    We were supposed to go eat dinner with the bro in law last night but being that I felt like ass, we put it off. He has a few things for the hubs that he thought he might want so I hope the hubs goes over there and sees what is what because it's important, ya know? The rest of the weekend has been quiet. I do my grocery shopping on Friday mornings now before work (you know, the no commute job) and Kami, turn away for a second, ok?

    Is she not looking?

    OK, get this shit y'all. The Wally has this table runner that is fan-fucking-tastic and hi, $14. I also got pumpkin pie potpourri for this lovely basket that has fall leaves painted on it. (KAMI, DON'T MAKE ME PUT YOU IN A CORNER - NOW TURN AROUND!!!!) Once I get the house just how I want it for fall, I will take tons of pics and show them and we will just tell Kami I got the runner and potpourri from the big red bullseye, ok? Now, someone go get Kami, she is in the corner drinking margaritas right from the blender.

    Last night, like I said we chilled here at the casa, watched the Saints play, well, like the Saints do and I read and finished the above mentioned book. I am now onto Lipstick Jungle by Candace Bushnell, the brain behind Sex and the City, one of the best shows ever on tv EVER. Today I got up, had lunch with Karen and then hit the Barnes. I love me some Barnes. I walk in there and it's like my blood pressure lowers, the buzzing in my brain quiets and I can just meander - pick up a book, glance at the back and either add it to the ever-increasing pile or place it back on the shelf. Today I picked up a mere 3 books, but my book habit is pricey, y'all. However, I might have the answer to my woes as well as any other readers out there. I found a website from a magazine (I think Redbook) about a Netflix for books. It works just as the flix does - you can pick the plan that works for you as in how many books you would like in your possession at one time. I have yet to really go browse the titles that they offer in order to see if it is good for me, but definitely go check it out. It's called www.booksfree.com. Let me know if y'all end up using this.

    I also found this wonderful little picture for my kitchen at Linens N Things for the tidy sum of $20. Can't beat that. I figure my bargain basement score at LNT offsets my Barnes splurge. Isn't that how things work? Tonight I am half watching the Emmys and getting ready to go throw the fixings for this wonderful apple bread into the bread machine. I love relaxing nights like this. The hubs is working so it's just me, mom and the animals tonight. I already watched my Gilmore Girls last night, so I have to succumb to what is on network tv. Sad. Speaking of sad, the whole Dick Clark thing made me CRY. My dad had a stroke a long time ago and I just kept thinking how lucky I was that my dad recovered in the way that he did.

    Oh, speaking of the Dad, we had a nice chat about him being a dipshit and not wanting to worry me. Until I pointed out that if I had to go to the hospital for a HANG NAIL, and the hubs did not call him from the damn ER, he'd have the hubs nuts on a spit roasted over a fire. He laughed and said I was right and agreed to not do that anymore. So that's good. He is not nervous about his test tomorrow. He said he is relieved that he can get something done and some answers to why he is so tired.

    I FINALLY found a chick that cuts my hair right. God bless. I went to her with no knowledge of her skill. I only had a recommendation of the spa in which she works, but she was FANTASTIC. She did just what I asked her to. AND. AND. ANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNND. We talked for 45 minutes about Young and the Restless. I mean, hello. Match made in hairdo heaven, I think. I mean, the girl knew her shit too. I mean, with John just having kicked the bucket, girlfriend brought up Mamie. I mean, shit, Mamie has not been on there for a while and she remembered that shit. I was impressed, mmmmkay. She now has a new client who tips well, so hopefully she is as happy as I am to have found her. :)

    OK, I do believe I have emptied my brain. Thanks for listening.

    Oh, and I am not mentioning any names but someone, someone very cute is going to turn 3 on Tuesday. I won't mention any names but he is currently laying on the sofa looking Pooptastic. He will be getting a Pooper cake and Pooper presents. He deserves it since his last birthday had to be celebrated in a hotel room.

    PS - by the way, go show my girl, Carrie, some love. That hookah spent her weekend working her ass off singlehandedly raising $300K for the Houston SPCA. There were other people there, but whatever. I know she did the bulk of the work. I love me some puppers and kitters so I think the fact that she does such selfless work for animals that are so helpless speaks volumes about her. Go show my bitch some love and watch her on the tube. She looks fab and does good work, mmmmmkay?

    Elizabeth at 9:41 PM

    6comments

    Friday, August 25, 2006

    SPF

    Kristine wants to see the following:

    -What annoys the Jeebus outta you.
    -Your space
    -What keeps Xanax in business in your life


    Oh this irks the livin shit outta me. I hate my counter all cluttered up. I like it to have the pictures and the candles on it. THAT'S IT. It is the mail dumping spot, hubs dumping spot for all his shit, etc. I clear it at least a half dozen times a day.

    This is where you can find me just about every night watching either tv, DVDs, surfing the net on the laptop that is not shown in the picture, and generally being a sloth. It's big fun.

    This muthafuchah here. I love him to pieces but honest to God, he can be trying sometimes. He is so lucky he has this absolutely precious face because I'd have sold his ass into bad dog slavery years ago.

    Now tell a bitch if you played. By bitch, I mean me, not Kristine. She be nice lady. You can tell her too though. In fact, she demands it. Raiders fans are like that.

    Elizabeth at 10:12 AM

    20comments

    Wednesday, August 23, 2006

    Two rabbis and a priest go into a donut shop.......

    So tonight was the second installment of "How to be a Catholic in 25 easy steps." Tonight we had Father Cracker teach us because Father Asian had a prior commitment. Let me just say right now that I almost pissed myself when this dude admitted that he took over the duties at the Pastoral Center because the priest prior to him was taking a hands on approach to some of the altar boys. I just never expected that sort of openness. Made me respect him on a whole other level. Plus he had a really great melodic voice like my Dad and that's always a good thing. Overall, I give tonight's class a solid B+.
    Got a phone call tonight from my sister. I don't talk about her much because she is too far away in northern CA teaching and finding trees to hug. However, she called this evening because apparently my dad (he of the melodic voice) took a spill on Friday. Initially he went with the whole "my knee gave out" story but then admitted that he more than likely passed out being that he never once on the way down tried to stop himself. So he goes to his doctor and he orders a test to check his carotid artery. The super invasive test where they start with a scope or something down at the groin and work their way up to see what is causing the problem. Now, one might say quietly to oneself, "Self, why did SFG's dad's cardiologist not order this test? This test sounds like it is cardiac-like in nature." Um, you would be right. So my step-mom called the cardiologist and the office staff goes "Oh um, yeah, we did the screening for that test and there was a problem but we like um, forgot to tell you about it."

    I'm sorry, psycho say what?

    At that point, I blacked out momentarily because my head exploded but when it reattached itself and I asked my sis a few more questions. Basically the big mama jamma test is Monday so that is that. Here is what chaps my muthafuckin ass. My sister had to call me with this shit because she just found out herself today. The fall occurred FRIDAY. My sister found out today because my brother called her. I just talked to him - he called her because he just found out about the fall last night. Um, NO. What the fuck? I am his daughter, for fuck's sake. I know that I live 1500 miles away but this is in no way acceptable. Who the fuck are they (they being dad and step-mother) to decide what is ok and not ok to tell me about the state of my father's health? I want full disclosure and then I can decide what to worry about. Allow me to fret if I want to fret. But do NOT neglect to tell me that my own fucking father might have a blockage in his fucking carotid artery. I can't even begin to express how fucking angry I am. Multiple the number of times I curse in this post by about a 1000. You are halfway there.

    Elizabeth at 11:36 PM

    12comments

    See, now Houston gets what I've been saying

    Two separate articles today on our local news station's website gave me the giggles. One is entitled "One Year Later: 60% of evacuees in Houston Still do not have jobs." Like 3 articles down it says "Houston helping evacuees get back to their homes in LA."

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

    Yeah, I'm sure y'all want them gone. I can only imagine. Truth be told, we don't really want them back, despite what Ray "Chocolate City" Nagin has to say. Y'all can have them or send them to Mexico. Oh wait, Mexicans work their asses off. Nevermind, that won't work either.

    Elizabeth at 1:33 PM

    8comments

    Tuesday, August 22, 2006

    The things that change a child

    I am sitting here watching Cinderella Man. I'm sure most of the western hemisphere has seen it so I won't bore you with the details. What struck me more than anything is their poverty.

    I forget sometimes how poor I used to be. The fact that while I was in high school and lived with my father who was firmly in the middle to upper class helped to dull the memories of the years just prior to that, the years from the time my parents divorced until I hit 9th grade which was about 7 years or so.

    What I remember the most is the fear. My mother and I lived for 4 of those years in what could only be described as a barrio in Covina, CA. In the years since I exited CA, the town that we lived in as well as much of the surrounding areas have given themselves over almost entirely to gangs and bad neighborhoods. Well, this one was well on its way while I was there back in the late 1980s. The apartment building I was in was a four-plex. We were on the top floor in the front. I was a latch key kid from age of 10 because my mom did not have anyone to stay with me from the end of school until she got home. We were at various times without a car. We walked to the grocery to get the food that we could afford. One year, and I will never forget this, we had to drag our Christmas tree home down the street from the front of the grocery store because the car was broken again. But we had a tree. The problem was that my mom kept losing jobs. They would do a layoff and since she was the last hired, she was the first to go. I remember this one Friday night her coming home to tell me she had been laid off again and I got so afraid. What if our landlord kicked us out? I knew my dad paid child support but it did not even cover the rent. What were we gonna do? I don't recall what job it was or how long she was out of work, but that night is forever sewn into my memory bank because it helped to shape me.

    Finances terrify me. Loss of work makes me so afraid. Leaving my job after the storm without a guaranteed paycheck every two weeks was the biggest leap of faith I think I have ever taken. I look around now and I am stunned and humbled and blessed when I see all that we have. Because I KNOW how easily it can all go. I remember our second hand furniture and I remember never feeling comfortable having kids come over because I was ashamed. I was ashamed of our apartment and our neighborhood and how scary it was. We had to literally live behind closed doors because to open the door and let a breeze in through the screen or to let the windows open is to invite trouble. There were drugs all around me, but I know now that I was not terribly aware of it. I lived in books and stories. I got swept up by the Sweet Valley High series of books and that is where my chosen home was. Thankfully, because I think that helped me to keep some innocence and sanity.

    One of the ideas that literally just came to me in the last year or so is why my father did not do more. He was legally obligated to pay my mother $300 a month in child support, but he knew how we lived. He picked me up every other Friday night for the weekend. I guess because I was clean and the clothes I had on were always clean, he was able to turn a blind eye to what was my reality for 26 days a month. I don't understand how he did not voluntarily give us more. There is a very good chance that he may have tried and my mom said absolutely not, but I'll never know because I am definitely not gonna ask.

    My hubs and I make a nice living. When I see our tax returns every year, I am pleasantly surprised by what we earn. But the hubs will never get it. He will never get how close I was to welfare. How I lived my life in a neighborhood that looked just like the movie "Colors." He lived in a nice little home and his dad made a nice living and there was always work and the bills were always paid and there was always food. Unless you live that existence for a while as a child when you are truly powerless and have to rely on the adults around you and even now the adults look terrified, you can never really understand how hard it is to relinquish control. That is a part of me that he just will never get. I do know that I have equipped myself as an adult to hopefully never be in that position again. That is my way of dealing. I have made sure that even if the hubs lost his jobs tomorrow, I could go out and get a better paying job than I have now and be okay. That has to always be an option for me. I always have to know that my future is in my hands, not the hands of anyone else. Out of that fear came resilience and drive. I guess that is a good thing, but it was a long, scary road to go down. It is a road that will never leave me. It is a road that no child should ever have to go down.

    Elizabeth at 10:03 PM

    14comments

    Monday, August 21, 2006

    Mystery

    I fail to understand the appeal of certain bloggers.

    PS - Before you ask, no, I won't say about whom I am speaking. It is no one on my blog roll and no one that I have commented to in a LONG LONG time. I realized what a bitch this girl was and moved the fuck on.

    I just gotta say, I don't get it. I so do not.

    Elizabeth at 1:01 PM

    24comments

    Diarrhea of the mind and Book #40, Everyone Worth Knowing by Lauren Weisberger

    I have so much shit in my cranium and it's just gotta come out. In bullets. You can thank Nappy for that idea. (Hey, I am all for passing the buck.)

    -Not sure but I think I want to see the Outkast movie, Idlewild. It looks sorta creative and interesting.
    -If I see the commercial for Old Navy about getting your fash on one more GD time, I am gonna flip the fuck out.
    -That annoying girl on VH1, some British girl who sings about freeing a little bird while riding around on her bike needs to shut the fuck up.
    -I have been cultivating what is, perhaps, the largest zit ever. I literally woke up with it Saturday morning and it grew all that day and over Saturday night. The hubs and I were swimming yesterday and even he commented on it. I could dye my hair purple and shave off an eyebrow and he would not notice, but he sure as shit saw this colony of pus on my jawline.
    -I do believe that I found someone to finally cut my hair. My girl who used to do it lost her job since the hurricane and I have truly been at a loss for a year. I got one really fabulous cut from H2O but I can't justify spending that kind of money every 2 months. Sorry, just can't. However, this place in the next town looks really nice on their website and their haircuts are roughly what I used to pay Joy, so it's all good. I'll be calling them shortly. If I get another bad hair cut like my last 2, I think I'll go back in there with an Uzi.
    -Saw a fantastic movie that I keep forgetting to comment about, The Night Listener, with Robin Williams and Toni Collette. I really enjoyed it.
    -The hubs and I have seen a few decent Netflix. Well, one, really. We got Running Scared which was not great but the hubs liked it. I got bored and went and worked for an hour. I finally saw Million Dollar Baby. The first hour was SLLLOOOWW. It got way better though. I really enjoyed it a lot. She had a bad ass body in that.
    -I watched the season opener of Laguna beach and it does not seem to be nearly as entertaining as the previous 2 seasons. Sorry, but no one does spoiled bitch quite like Kristin Cavalieri or whiny spoiled brat like Lauren Conrad. Just ain't the same, bitches.
    -If the new season of Desperate Housewives or Grey's Anatomy does not start soon, I may flip out.
    -I hate my neighbors even more than before. Nothing specific happened. I just truly loathe them and can't wait for them to get the fuck.
    -I have started busting out my fall decor. Just for you, Kami. Once it's all the way I want, I shall take pictures, fo sho.
    -The Pooper does not understand that even when I am home all day that when I am shackled to the computer in the back, I am working. He just figures, "Hey bitch, you are here and yet I am getting no attention." So he has taken to getting the nearest squeeky toy and spitting it into my lap and then backing up and sitting down like "You take it from here."
    -Remember that girl I mentioned who drafted an email for her hubs to send to various family members to get them to purchase the dishes she wanted? Well, that shit worked. Booooyah!
    -Am I the only person addicted to this year's Celebrity Fit Club? I have watched it before pretty regularly, but this year I like it way more. My favorite is Bone Crusher. I am not at all familiar with his music but he is kicks. I love that he just seems like a nice, down to earth guy who wants to get his shit together for his family.
    -Oh for the love of GOD, why is the Shrub on tv? Oh, and he really did just say "Fancy digs you got here" when he reached the podium. If his brother runs for office for the next election, I'm moving.
    -I think I need some breakfast.
    -OK, book #40 Everyone Worth Knowing. It was good but not fantastic. I have discovered that while I love me some light and airy chick lit, I tend to like it to at least somewhat resemble my life. This took place in New York. The main character was a girl who ends up walking out on her job in banking that she hated and takes a job with a publicity firm who specializes in celebrities and major accounts. Her life ends up splashed all over the gossip rags and much of it is not true. Long story short, she is realizing that perhaps life running with the young and beautiful may not be all wine and roses. OK, it was good and I love the author who also wrote the Devil Wears Prada, but this one was not nearly as good. I tend to like shit set in the 'burbs. I can at least relate a little. A setting in NY is just outside my realm of understanding, but overall it was a fairly quick easy read so if you are looking to escape your life in the burbs for a while, give it a whirl.
    -Speaking of which, I have mailed off a few books to those who have asked and I am happy to do so. If anyone reads a review and wants to read what I just finished or whatever, fire me off an email and let me know. I'm happy to send it off. I hate to read a book and then it just sit on my bookshelf. I would much rather someone else get some enjoyment out of it. I can't promise that I have every book I reviewed on here since a few came from the library or I may have sold them through Amazon, but if I have it, it's all yours.
    -The Shrub is still babbling.
    -The hubs is sick and if he passes on his phlegmy germs, I am gonna have to beat him.
    -The Young and the Restless is, by far, my main form of entertainment. Do NOT judge me before you watch it. Of course it is a soap and therefore, by its very definition, a tad over dramatic and over the top, but it's big fun and I love it. Especially when John's wife, can't think of her name, does the crazy eyes face. It's fucking priceless.

    OK, I think I emptied my brain and I gotta go find something else on tv because I can't deal with the Shrub try to piece together a sentence and I need some foodage. Later, bitches.

    Elizabeth at 9:50 AM

    11comments

    Diarrhea of the mind and Book #40, Everyone Worth Knowing by Lauren Weisberger

    I have so much shit in my cranium and it's just gotta come out. In bullets. You can thank Nappy for that idea. (Hey, I am all for passing the buck.)

    -Not sure but I think I want to see the Outkast movie, Idlewild. It looks sorta creative and interesting.
    -If I see the commercial for Old Navy about getting your fash on one more GD time, I am gonna flip the fuck out.
    -That annoying girl on VH1, some British girl who sings about freeing a little bird while riding around on her bike needs to shut the fuck up.
    -I have been cultivating what is, perhaps, the largest zit ever. I literally woke up with it Saturday morning and it grew all that day and over Saturday night. The hubs and I were seimming yesterday and even he commented on it. I could dye my hair purple and shave off an eyebrow and he would not notice, but he sure as shit saw this colony of pus on my jawline.
    -I do believe that I found someone to finally cut my hair. My girl who used to do it lost her job since the hurricane and I have truly been at a loss for a year. I got one really fabulous cut from H2O but I can't justify spending that kind of money every 2 months. Sorry, just can't. However, this place in the next town looks really nice on their website and their haircuts are roughly what I used to pay Joy, so it's all good. I'll be calling them shortly. If I get another bad hair cut like my last 2, I think I'll go back in there with an Uzi.
    -Saw a fantastic movie that I keep forgetting to comment about, The Night Listener, with Robin Williams and Toni Collette. I really enjoyed it.
    -The hubs and I have seen a few decent Netflix. Well, one, really. We got Running Scared which was not great but the hubs liked it. I got bored and went and worked for an hour. I finally saw Million Dollar Baby. The first hour was SLLLOOOWW. It got way better though. I really enjoyed it a lot. She had a bad ass body in that.
    -I watched the season opener of Laguna beach and it does not seem to be nearly as entertaining as the previous 2 seasons. Sorry, but no one does spoiled bitch quite like Kristin Cavalieri or whiny spoiled brat like Lauren Conrad. Just ain't the same, bitches.
    -If the new season of Desperate Housewives or Grey's Anatomy does not start soon, I may flip out.
    -I hate my neighbors even more than before. Nothing specific happened. I just truly loathe them and can't wait for them to get the fuck.
    -I have started busting out my fall decor. Just for you, Kami. Once it's all the way I want, I shall take pictures, fo sho.
    -The Pooper does not understand that even when I am home all day that when I am shackled to the computer in the back, I am working. He just figures, "Hey bitch, you are here and yet I am getting no attention." So he has taken to getting the nearest squeeky toy and spitting it into my lap and then backing up and sitting down like "You take it from here."
    -Remember that girl I mentioned who drafted an email for her hubs to send to various family members to get them to purchase the dishes she wanted? Well, that shit worked. Booooyah!
    -Am I the only person addicted to this year's Celebrity Fit Club? I have watched it before pretty regularly, but this year I like it way more. My favorite is Bone Crusher. I am not at all familiar with his music but he is kicks. I love that he just seems like a nice, down to earth guy who wants to get his shit together for his family.
    -Oh for the love of GOD, why is the Shrub on tv? Oh, and he really did just say "Fancy digs you got here" when he reached the podium. If his brother runs for office for the next election, I'm moving.
    -I think I need some breakfast.
    -OK, book #40 Everyone Worth Knowing. It was good but not fantastic. I have discovered that while I love me some light and airy chick lit, I tend to like it to at least somewhat resemble my life. This took place in New York. The main character was a girl who ends up walking out on her job in banking that she hated and takes a job with a publicity firm who specializes in celebrities and major accounts. Her life ends up splashed all over the gossip rags and much of it is not true. Long story short, she is realizing that perhaps life running with the young and beautiful may not be all wine and roses. OK, it was good and I love the author who also wrote the Devil Wears Prada, but this one was not nearly as good. I tend to like shit set in the 'burbs. I can at least relate a little. A setting in NY is just outside my realm of understanding, but overall it was a fairly quick easy read so if you are looking to escape your life in the burbs for a while, give it a whirl.
    -Speaking of which, I have mailed off a few books to those who have asked and I am happy to do so. If anyone reads a review and wants to read what I just finished or whatever, fire me off an email and let me know. I'm happy to send it off. I hate to read a book and then it just sit on my bookshelf. I would much rather someone else get some enjoyment out of it. I can't promise that I have every book I reviewed on here since a few came from the library or I may have sold them through Amazon, but if I have it, it's all yours.
    -The Shrub is still babbling.
    -The hubs is sick and if he passes on his phlegmy germs, I am gonna have to beat him.
    -The Young and the Restless is, by far, my main form of entertainment. Do NOT judge me before you watch it. Of course it is a soap and therefore, by its very definition, a tad over dramatic and over the top, but it's big fun and I love it. Especially when John's wife, can't think of her name, does the crazy eyes face. It's fucking priceless.

    OK, I think I emptied my brain and I gotta go find something else on tv because I can't deal with the Shrub try to piece together a sentence and I need some foodage. Later, bitches.

    Elizabeth at 9:50 AM

    0comments

    Saturday, August 19, 2006

    Y'all bitches better take this quiz and score a fucking 100, mmmmkay?





    Elizabeth at 11:47 PM

    9comments

    Looking back.

    I just read a post on Texan in Kuwait's blog that got me to thinking. When I think back on this year, it truly makes my head spin. A little over a year ago, we bought our house, my first. Not long after we had a small gathering here for my birthday and the very next day I left my first home because that fucking bitch Katrina decided to come here rather than Florida and my life changed immeasurably. I left my job. My house was still standing. I had to leave my husband for a month. For 36 hours, I did not know if he was alive or dead or being held at gunpoint by looters. I came back and never went back to my job. That is a decision that I will never regret. That place was stifling me. I walked away and even though we struggled this last year, right now it's all worth it. After much hard work and stretching dollars so far, they about ripped in two, I am where I need to be. I miss a total of one person from that firm. Sure, there are tons more that it is nice to see should I run into them at Sam's Club but the bulk of them, I am fine with not seeing. Now I get up to "go to work" and there is no knot in my gut. There is no eczema on my eyelids from stress. I am not eating my weight in fried food because I am so freaked out. (OK, sometimes I still do that, but now it's just because it is so goooood.) I am so appreciative that this is my life. Y'all just don't know.
    Other things that have changed is my relationship with the kids. It is now pretty much nonexistant and trust me, that's a good thing. I deal with them strictly via their father. I inquire after them from him. If he talks to them or sees them, fantastic. However, I am not in denial anymore that I am anything to them and that, truly, is the largest burden to have lifted off my shoulders. It sounds cold but the not caring is so amazingly freeing. I wish them well, but I do not need to be a part of it.
    My relationship with the hubs has gone way up and waaaaaay down at various times. He can be rough to deal with sometimes. No one would guess that of course because he is Mr. Nice guy, but I think that the fact that we made it through this year and are not divorced or living in separate households (we were not far from that, believe me) is a testament to the fact that we have been through some shit, ok? I do really believe that he is the one for me, but damn, sometimes it can be hard. I never really believed the whole marriage is work thing, but um, they weren't lying.
    I lost my FIL this year. Let's just not go there, mmmkay?
    We spent Xmas in Phoenix so this coming Xmas will be our first one in the new house. I am pumped for that. I am a very "home is where the heart is" type of person and I love nothing more than enjoying what we work super hard for. I am a major home body which is why working from home is the ideal solution for me. I so dig making everything just how I want it and having it all be clean and aesthetically pleasing and yet super comfy that you wanna sit down and put your feet up.
    I am not sure where this post is going.
    I think this next year will be a good one. The hubs and I are in a better place in several different parts of our lives. We do not have nearly the worries now that we did. We are more focused than ever on our little family and it is a nice feeling. I just can wish that in the next 2 years, our little family will be expanding. I mean, I already have the post baby body. It would be nice if I had, ya know, the baby.

    Elizabeth at 10:30 PM

    5comments

    Friday, August 18, 2006

    SPF - Your supplies

    Kristine wants to see:

    -your bag
    -your mailbox
    -your supplies


    I have shown this recently but this is my ever so loverly bag. For now. Til I get a wild hair up my ass to buy another one.

    Yeah, I'm not kidding. This monstrosity is outside our house. The neighbors were outside so I felt weird getting a picture of ours. Suffice it to say, it is exactly like this but without the house number. My little flag is even up right now.

    My supplies. This is where I work. This is not the computer I am currently at - the one where I pay bills, blog and generally shop online. I figure this set up supplies us with money so there ya go.

    Let me know if you played. I will really try to get around this week and see what y'all do. I have been a big time slacker lately.

    Elizabeth at 9:30 AM

    19comments

    Wednesday, August 16, 2006

    The story behind the last post

    OK, before I go any farther, I feel the need to clear something up even though, really, I owe no one an explanation for anything. Regardless, here goes.

    If you have read my blog for any length of time (that time being more than a day or two) you know that I have been on a rather long but sporadic search for a church home. I take this seriously, even if I poke fun. If that annoys you, I suggest you move on because I tend to poke at sleeping bears with giant sticks that way. I love nothing more than to be completely unpolitically correct in an attempt to laugh at myself and others. If I know something annoys someone, then I will do it, say it, spray paint it, and put it on a banner and fly it over the tristate area.

    Anyway, I was not looking forward to class tonight. Not because of the class per se, but because I was a tired girl. This weather still sucks donkey dicks (I wonder if I can still say that if I decide to join the genuflectors???) and frankly I am always in need of a nap. I was pleasantly surprised. The class is taught by a priest that was a victim of Hurricane Katrina. His parish was in St. Bernard parish and is now, in a word, gone. The Archdiocese tranferred him here and now apparently he is here to stay. To put it succinctly, I likeah him. He is Vietnamese. Y'all know how I am about the Asians. See, I called them Asians in a vain effort to be nice. Damn it, this church stuff is already affecting me. (Hubs, if you are reading this, I promise to still call you a gook and to tell you that all your people drive for shit. That was, after all, in our vows.)

    Anyway, the little dude was just cute. Because I am a lumper, he reminded me of my FIL since my FIL is also of the Asian descent. Nevermind they were of completely different nationalities, in my small mind, slants are slants. (Oh, I so can't wait for the mail and comments I get for this shit. SAVE IT. If you know me at ALL, then you know I am joking. If you don't know me, let the bile flow.)

    So class was good. I learned some stuff and was pleasantly surprised to find out that Father Asian wants what we say in class to be just that - in class. Our backgrounds are diverse and he wants each of us to feel comfortable to express our opinions, popular or otherwise, so that we can truly find out if this is where we are meant to be. I liked that. I was a tad afraid that it would be like a Fascist government in there with a giant glowing Mary on one side and the fires of hell on the other and that I would be like way closer to the heated part of the room. He seemed open minded (as much as a priest can be, I suppose) and kind and knowledgeable. Of course, he is Asian so that last part comes easily.

    I fucking slay me.

    Had I known that this class was open to those who have already either been through first communion or confirmation and could be used as a refresher, I'd have lugged the hubs in there with his hell-bound ass. This dude.....THIS DUDE....is useless to me. Case in point:

    "Honey, why do y'all do x, y, or z?"
    Dunno.
    "Honey, the whole this, that and the other, what is the significance of that?"
    Ummmmm, (shrug) not sure.

    Yeah, he is a bevy of information. It flows right from the Vatican to him. I gots it like dat.

    So for the next 25 weeks or so, I shall be in RCIA class on Wednesday nights. Thankfully, I did not have the same experience as one of our fellow bloggers who had to be subjected to inane stories from dipshits that had nothing to do with the topic at hand. I'd have gone the fuck OFF had that happened.

    Needless to say, my opinion of class has been improved. However, I will absolutely get my concerns out in the open. I have several of them and I can not, in good faith, commit myself to a church that I am not absolutely sure is where me and my mouth and my beliefs belong. It would be wonderful if this is where I am meant to be because it is something the hubs and I can share and can share with our children.

    However, it does not mean that I will stop calling the hubs a gook or saying the F word. I really think it will take an exorcism for that shit.

    Elizabeth at 9:39 PM

    17comments

    The time has come

    I am so damn tired today and yet, tonight starts the "I really wanna be Catholic and shit" class. Shoot me please.

    I can guarantee that at some point this evening, the phrases "rampant pedophilia" and "my gay cousin is not going to hell just because the dude in the robe in the vatican says so" and my favorite, "blow it out your ass, padre" will come out of some girl's mouth. Yep, this is gonna be one hell of a class.

    Good times.

    Elizabeth at 4:47 PM

    9comments

    Monday, August 14, 2006

    Told you all that I was a bedding whore.


    Purchased at the Big Red Bullseye. I know it is a tad modern for my taste. I tend to like more of a clean line type of thing, but I decided to branch out.

    And yes, it does look like it belongs on a 14-year-old's bed, but I watch Laguna Beach, so really, how far off am I? I mean, seriously.....

    Just a quick photo to show that yes, the abuse goes on. I really don't know how he stands it.

    Elizabeth at 6:38 PM

    28comments

    Book #39 - Love, Rosie and a weekend update

    This was a cutsie little book that centered on this young girl and follows her life from age 5 up to 50 through nothing but correspondence - emails, letters, cards, IM sessions, etc. You keep waiting with a level of frustration to see if she gets a clue at some point, and thankfully you are not disappointed at the end. Sorry if that ruins it for you should you choose to read this.

    So, this weekend...hmmmm. Saturday of course I worked until 6. The hubs got home at 1:30 or 2 and proceeded to clean the garage. He cleaned the FUCK out of the garage. I gotta say, sometimes it takes an act of Congress to get his ass to do something but once he does, he does not half ass. Case in point: my lawn. That is a constant issue of tension for us. He is not one of those people that are an embarassment to the hood but my idea of a nice lawn is short and looking good - no stragglies. Stragglies - they no buggah him. I finished work up and then we went and grabbed a quite bite out since I had a small dose of cabin fever. We very dutifully bypassed Cold Stone. I think I should get a fucking medal for that shit. Sunday he went to work and I got up to go eat lunch with Karen, who bought a new house out in the middle of the sticks but it's gorgeous. Right now, her house is too small for her family. She has 3 girls and the 2 younger ones are sharing and it just is not working. I am thrilled for her to be moving - it's fab news. I am also very willing to go help her buy new house stuff. I am fucking nice that way, ok?
    Then I stopped off at Target. I went to go get drinks they had on sale and a cart full of crap later, I left. I know. I KNOW. I think they run some sort of drug through their a/c system that makes me powerless to their wiles. Then I called my sister but she was out. Called the Pops to say hi and we talked all the way home. He is 71 and in many ways does not seem it but recently I am seeing and hearing the aging process taking over. Makes me nervous.

    Am I the only one who shakes her ass at Justin Timberlake's new song? I LOVE IT. My cousin thinks the video is like porn but in my humble opinion, it's no worse than most of the shit out there.

    I watched more Gilmore Girls. I so want to live in a place like Stars Hollow. I love that little town. And, the older I get, the more I am sorta wanting to live where they have 4 seasons. Yep, this from the girl who went to college in the Burgh and swore on the Black and Gold that she would NEVER EVER shovel snow again just to go to the fucking store. Here, all we have is blisteringly hot and then 2 days of winter.

    Well, the kids start school today. The boy does anyway. The girl starts college next week. We gave her a check towards her books - an amount of which should have covered the bulk of if not the entire amount. Considering we give her mother a giant chunk of our budget every month, I thought it was still the right thing to do. Um, until the hubs had to call to make sure she got the check. Yeah, I guess the 2 minute phone call to her dad saying "Hey thanks, I wanted to let you know I appreciate the money" just was not gonna happen. She claimed it was a "I was so busy at work thing" but whatever. I guess that newfangled thing that is permanently attached to her head just does not work when calling her dad to say thanks. Some weird feature, I'm sure.

    Today I was supposed to have lunch with an atty I used to work with but she had to bail since one of the attys that I did work for dumped about a shitten ton of work on her Friday. I so remember those days. Ahhhhh, the freedom. I miss it not a bit. :)

    Elizabeth at 10:25 AM

    6comments

    Friday, August 11, 2006

    Book #38 - Judge and Jury by the fabu Patterson

    Seriously, does this man ever turn out a shitty book? EVER. I zip through these bad boys in no time. I actually finished this one 2 nights ago so that when the hubs went to the station for 48 hours, he could take it.

    That's love right there, bitches.

    Even though it's Friday, my weekend does not technically start until tomorrow night. I work Tues - Sat 10-6 so really, it's Thursday for me. Make sense? However, with the knowledge that I can roll my stank ass out of bed at 9:59, I feel no qualms about going out on Fridays should the opportunity present. However, with the hubs working, I am chilling with the Pooper reading book 39 and annoying the dog. And by annoying I mean saying in a really shrill high pitched British accented voice things like:

    I loooooove the puppy!
    See this foot? I love that foot. (Foot being paw, obviously)
    This ear right here? I love it too.
    'Allo puppy! (His personal fave, if you recall)
    I love Gager, yes I do, I love Gager, how 'bout you? (As I bonk him on the snoot.)

    Yep, that's my life. I swear to Jeebus that if the neighbors ever watch me through the windows, they have the nutjob take-awayers on speed dial. Oh, and the hubs makes him dance with him too. I shit you not. Trust me, I'll tape that one day and post it on here. They do the bunny hop. It's................well, disturbing, now that I think about it.

    Very quiet weekend on the front. Tomorrow after work, the hubs will be home finally and he is planning to vacuum the pool and clean out the garage while I finish working since he gets home for 1:30ish. Tomorrow night..........oh yes, tomorrow night...............the first preseason Steelers game is on. NFL ticket starts paying for itself finally. I plan to be all decked out and obnoxious about it. Sunday and Monday (my off days) the hubs works. Ain't that some shit? Sunday is lunch with Karen of course. Monday I am taking my friend Lauren to lunch for notarizing some shit for me. I worked with her at the firm and she is big fun, so I am looking forward to it. She is a total mess, but in a good way. Capice?

    OK, so how bad is this? Um, say you like really want these really pretty, not at all expensive Christmas dinnerware for this upcoming Christmas. Ok, and um, say you like want settings for 12. The set comes 4 to a set necessitating you to buy 3.

    With me? OK, good. (Carrie and Nicole - put down the margaritas and beer and pay attention!)

    Jeez, those girls.....;)

    Anyway, would it be like, um, pushy or whatever to bring up your hubs that if he bought one and your mother bought one and your father and stepmother bought one, all 3 sets would be like done and all would be well? And would it be like way over the line to not only bring this up but to COMPOSE A MOCK EMAIL to the hubs for him to forward on to said family members that he is to pass off as his own fabulous idea?

    So, that's too much? Um....yeah.

    Glad I don't know anyone like that.

    Elizabeth at 10:29 PM

    7comments

    I have wanted to do this from time to time.

    The following story was on WWLTV.com, our local CBS affiliate station. Y'all know I am an anal bitch so when I see dirt, I gotta clean. I think I might do this to the neighbors and throw out all their clutter and Southwest paraphenalia.

    Woman Comes Home to Find House Cleaned

    CHARLESTON, W.Va. (AP) -- When Debbie Phillips tried to report a crime, police just snickered. "I told him that someone came into my house and cleaned," the president of the Putnam County School Board said. "He just laughed."

    The problem wasn't that her home smelled a little fresher or looked a little tidier. The problem was that Phillips had no idea who the mystery cleaner was.

    Her husband denied cleaning up the joint. So did her next-door neighbor. Everyone she asked denied responsibility.

    All she knew was the rugs weren't where she had left them that morning in June. Trinkets had been rearranged and in the master bedroom, the bed was made differently.

    It didn't look like anything had been stolen, but she couldn't be sure.

    Nearly a month passed before the mystery was solved. Her son called her at work recently after a cleaning lady arrived at the front door.

    As it turns out, her neighbor across the street, with a similar house number, the same number of rooms to be cleaned and a house key hidden in a similar spot outside, had hired a cleaning service.

    "They just came to the wrong door," Phillips said.

    Elizabeth at 4:32 PM

    8comments

    Thursday, August 10, 2006

    SPF - Titles and shit.

    OK y'all I blew off SPF last week and I don't wanna piss off the newlywed, so here is goes. I hope these fucking pictures come out.
    Kristine wants to see:

    -a movie title
    -a book title
    -a song title


    Sleeping with the Enemy. This sort of nice nap rarely happens without Gage trying to eat Hoss's head.


    Book is called the Starter Wife. I'm sure that this might ruffle some feathers but fuck it. This is my hubs, his kid and the starter wife. LOLOLOL. I get very little enjoyment out of her so I am just gonna ride this wave.

    Hot! Hot! Hot! by the Cure. Y'all bitches know I love me some Cure. I hate summer though and I want this shit to go away. I want October, ok?

    Now tell me if you played, bitches.

    Elizabeth at 11:27 PM

    19comments

    Just gonna put this out there.

    Why are Cheez-It's so darn tasty and yet so full of fat?

    Nevermind, just answered my own question.

    I do believe I shall patent brocolli that tastes like cheesecake. I'll make millions and you all can say you knew me when.

    Elizabeth at 4:06 PM

    12comments

    Tuesday, August 08, 2006

    The one where I cry.

    I seriously fucking hate PMS. I hate it. I am not sure if that is what my problem is or if I have truly OD'd on Gilmore Girls to such an extent that I am just one big raw nerve that is being plucked constantly.

    Hehe, I said plucked.

    NOT THE POINT, CHILDREN. PAY ATTENTION.

    So I am like enjoying my night and Suki, the chef in the show, gets knocked up. I am like sad now. Because I wanna be knocked up. And even though the hubs and I have a plan that hopefully knocks me up in 2008 (it's a financial decision, y'all), I just want it now and it makes me sad. I hate it. So please excuse me if I tend to be hypersensitive about this shit. I left a comment on someone's blog about wanting to be knocked up and I hope she did not take it the wrong way. Basically she was complaining about being sick, I think, (my memory SUCKS ASS) and I said something like I'd still trade places with her in a minute. I don't want her to think I am like belittling her sickness because I'm sure that has to suck big donkey dicks, no? I don't even remember whose blog that is, but if it was yours, sorry. I'm just touchy.

    Then, I go to Carrie's blog and that HAB puts a story about dog abandonment. Now the pooper has a home now and it's all good, but that shit makes me cry all the damn time, PMS or not. I can not handle that shit. I would volunteer at the SPCA for sure but I know me and I'd cry like every day and get really loudly mad at people that I did not think treated their pets correctly and I'd end up getting my ass kicked up one side and down the other of the kennel by some ghetto bitch who thinks that putting a spike collar on her pitbull is a cool thing, yo. Plus, I'd bring them all home and seriously, if one more animal comes into this house, Reba already told me she is packing her cat stuff and standing out on the corner with her cat thumb out hitchhiking her way the fuck outta here. Apparently, I was under the impression this was my house and not hers and she is not pleased. Just so ya know.

    Anyways, I am like super touchy today and I hate that. I am glad that I am not a stoic person who is like a iceberg but DAMN it would be nice to not have to boo fucking hoo at every single dog/cat/gerbil/gorilla story I ever hear.

    I also really miss my FIL lately.

    That is all.

    Elizabeth at 11:48 PM

    20comments

    Monday, August 07, 2006

    Book #37 and a meme

    I just finished the Secret Lives of Fortunate Wives by Sarah Strohmeyer. I loved it and finished it in about 2 days total. As mentioned before, I love books that I can escape with and not have to sit and overthink to death. Anyway, here is my Meme since I am tired and have stuff to do.

    1. Where were you 1 hour ago?

    In the shower trying to clean myself up a tad so that I can run some errands.

    2. Who will be your next kiss?

    The hubs when he gets home, I guess.

    3. What is the largest amount of money you spent in one store?

    I would guess a furniture store.

    4. Where did you go on your last date?

    We went to dinner at a steakhouse on Saturday night which was fun, but that was not really a date since we had company. We might go see a flick later today though.

    5. When is the last time you went to the mall?

    Saturday since we had time to kill. I am so not a mall person.

    6. Are you wearing socks right now?

    Nope. Barefoot.

    8. When was the last time you drove out of town?

    Probably the day we took the pooper to the beach - about 2.5 hours from here.

    9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?

    No, but as I said, possibly later today.

    10. What are you wearing right now?

    Gray cotton shorts and a white In N Out Burger tshirt.

    11. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it?

    Both but not nearly as often as I should.

    12. Last fast food you ate?

    The Pooper and I each had one of those orange slice candy deals.

    13. Where were you Friday night?

    Hooters with some friends and the kids.

    14. Have you bought any clothes in the last week?

    Yes, but not for me.

    15. When is the last time you ran?

    Um, I don't run unless being chased. Even then, it's iffy.

    16. What’s the last sporting event you watched?

    The Hall of Fame game last night. Thank God football season is about here.

    17. What is your favorite class?

    I loved my Politics of the Middle East class in college (here is a hint to all the idiots - not all people in the Middle East are (a) Arab (b) Muslim or (c) a terrorist and I also enjoyed my Bankruptcy Law class when I was getting my paralegal certificate.

    18. Your dream vacation?

    A nice long luxurious vacation in Greece and Italy.

    19. Last persons house you were in?

    Our friends when we were getting ready to go to Hooters.

    20. How old are your parents?

    71 and 61.

    21. Are you in love?

    Very much so.

    22. Do you miss anyone?

    Yeah, my FIL. I really miss him.

    23. Last play you saw?

    Oh man, I am not sure. It's been forever.

    24. What are your plans for tonight?

    Possible movie. If not that, just chill out and maybe watch a Netflix.

    25. Who is the last person you sent a message to on myspace?

    My Space? Um, I am 32.

    26. Ever go to camp?

    No, and I am quite pleased about that. Never wanted to. EVER.

    27. Were/are you an honor roll student in school?

    Yeah, I was in high school and college.

    28. What do you want to know about the future?

    Nothing right now.

    29. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?

    I am wearing Pearberry spray from Bath and Body Works.

    30. Are you hungry?

    Yeah, I am a little.

    31. Where is your best friend located?

    Claremont, CA. I miss her too.

    32. Who is your best friend?

    Wendelina.

    33. Do you have a tan?

    Normally, no, but this year I want a little color.

    34. How old do you want to be when you have kids?

    Um, now would be good, but we currently have a plan to knock me up at about 35.

    35. Do you collect anything?

    Not really.

    36. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over?

    Um, I have issues with police officers and I was not terribly nice to the one that pulled me over about a year or so ago on my way to take my mom to church. I am shocked he did not give me a citation.

    37. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw?

    In a restaurant - all the time. Rarely, if ever, at home. But I do have flexy straws for when I get sick. Flexies are for special occasions.

    38. How do you like your drinks?

    Tons of ice.

    39. Do you like hot sauce?

    Not just on something but if part of another sauce, then fine.

    40. Last time you took a shower?

    Like an hour ago.

    41. Do you need to do laundry?

    Probably tomorrow.

    42. What is your heritage?

    German, Irish, and some other shit. Nothing interesting.

    43. Are you someones best friend?

    I guess Wendy's but I honestly am not sure.

    49. Are you rich?

    No, but I am really trying to focus on how fortunate we really are (nice home, 2 cars, both of us healthy, bills are paid, etc) rather than worry about what I don't have (tons o' cash).

    Elizabeth at 12:15 PM

    14comments

    Sunday, August 06, 2006

    Book #36 - Baby Proof by Emily Griffin

    I love her books. She wrote Something Borrowed and Something Blue. I am not sure if other than those two and this new one if she has anything else published, but if she does, I am so scooping it up. I find her incredibly easy to read and it's not like work to get through the chapters. I know that for the most part I read lightweight stuff, but for right now, that is my taste. I have to read and hear and transcribe a lot of really serious stuff all day 5 days a week so during my down time I like to read stuff about women that have fairly light problems. In fact, my current book is called "The Secret Lives of Fortunate Wives." Nothing makes a book a page turner for me than rich women who have not much else to bitch about than that their housekeeper watches too much Price is Right. It is a world of which I am not a part, but damn, it's fun to be a fly on the wall. :)

    In other parts of life, I am glad that the bulk of you took my prior post in the manner in which it was intended. A few of you had some extenuating circumstances in which your kids had phones - all of which made perfect sense. Not that you were seeking or need my approval, but I'm just saying what y'all said made sense. I just could not understand the rampant shit I see on a daily basis with these ever younger girls. It makes me sad for them.

    My weekend has been nice thus far. Friday night a rather large gang of us went to eat at Hooters. Y'all know I love me some wings and the hubs loves him some boobs, so I mean what is not to love? We had a really sweet server who totally did not take any of the men's crap but answered back in a nice, but firm way. Gotta love that. I imagine those girls that work there have to develop a thick skin. Saturday the hubs and I ran around a tad during the day; dropped off a door to my friend, Karen, went to Petco to get deworming crap for my mom's cat, the mall where I bought an older Depeche Mode CD and a Cure CD - both of which I used to have years ago and lost at some point in our moves. We then went to dinner with my hubs brother in law. He is the one who was married to the hubs sister that passed away a little over a year ago. We always have such a good time with him and last night was no different. We went to a steak house and once again, great food and fab service. I am a sucker for good, attentive, but not butt kissing service and this girl was GOOD. I was all too happy to tip her 25% on our amazingly large bill. I also got a great thunderstorm out of the deal. I was not home to enjoy it properly, but nevertheless, it was a goodie.

    Today was lunch with Karen at Houston's. I grossly overate and came home feeling miserable for a while, but now I'm ok. Mom and I took a trip to Sam's Club to stock up on some essentials, like the new James Patterson novel. WHAT? It's a necessity. Back off.

    I am off tomorrow since this coming week is my first offical week at the job doing my permanent schedule. The past two weeks have been a traditional schedule of Monday-Friday 8-5. Now I will be doing Tues-Saturday 10-6. So I got a 3 day weekend out of the deal. How 'bout them apples? Tomorrow I have to go drop off some paperwork regarding one of my hubs old bills, renew his library book that is now overdue, and then hit the regular grocery to get the smaller, nonbulk items we might need. My mother has a dr. appt in the afternoon that will take the bulk of the afternoon and I gotta say, I am dreading it. I loathe just sitting there......waiting....forever. This office is notoriously not on schedule so I figure I will be home sometime around 4:30 or 5. Good times.

    Does anyone else think that the coming movie "World Trade Center" is done a bit too soon? I also felt the same way about the movie "Flight 93." I guess that might just be me, but I think some of those wounds might be a bit too raw this early on. Thoughts?

    Elizabeth at 10:23 PM

    7comments

    Thursday, August 03, 2006

    Open note to dipshit parents everywhere

    ***EDITED TO ADD*** I am glad that most you of understood what I was trying to say. For those of you who have children that have cell phones, it sounds to me like you do not allow them to parent your kids. That was totally my point. Like for RSG, whose ex-dickhead won't allow access to her OWN kid, then of course the child needs a phone. However, this rant has been in my head long before I saw those 2 young girls at the mall. They were just the best example I had seen in recent days. I'm sure that they would have tried their hardest to do whatever they wanted anyway, but my concern is that I wondered if their parents had a false sense of security by giving them those phones??? My guess is probably. I've seen it too much among my own friends with teen kids. I am just appalled by the freedom that some of these young kids have at such an early age. That was my point.

    Before I even start, let me just proclaim right now that (1) you are right, I don't have kids and therefore (2) you are right again, I have absolutely no earthly clue how hard it is to keep up with said kids. That being said, shut the fuck up and listen to what I have to say. If you need the need to criticize my point of view, kindly sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. This is my space, fucktard.

    OK, parents of tweens and teens everywhere, let me ask you a question. Does your child have a cell phone? If they do, I am not going to loudly proclaim that you are wasting your money and your kid is most likely carrying on a life outside of your walls of which you have NO CLUE, but why do you feel that it is necessary? The hubs and I have discussed this at major LENGTH because I have very loud opinions on this topic. I am not a fan of cell phones, never have been. I so see their use and I do have one - big time. There are major safety issues involved when you are stuck on the side of the road in the middle of the ghetto in the middle of the night, it would be really great to have a phone that is not a pay phone that is not near a gang of thugs that like to hang out near Tulane Hospital ER in the hope of seeing gun shot victims.

    Um, not that I would personally know that scenario, of course. Um, ok. Moving on.

    So before you extole the virtues of cell phones, I already know them. I DO. Trust me. However, does a 12 year old CHILD (and he/she is a child - don't fool yourself) need a cell phone? Is it for them to call home from where ever? Well, hi, how about a land line? A child should not be anywhere that there is not an adult. So if she is at a friend's house, I would bet a kabillion dollars they have a land line - and said land line would come up on your caller ID as a legitamate place not a fucking CELL PHONE NUMBER THAT COULD BE ANYWHERE. You do realize this, right?

    "Hi Mom, my BFF Tiffani with an i dotted with a heart and I have made it to the theater and we are going to see the previously agreed upon movie, Cars, and we will absolutely never speak to strange men. Love and kisses."

    Yeah, in reality, they are at a house across town that has lots of boys in it and these boys are currently talking them into engaging in oral or anal sex because, hey, you can't get pregnant that way. (For those of you who think I am being dramatic, statistics back me up here - the incidence of oral and anal sex among preteens is staggering for that very reason. Nevermind, disease or um, OUCH.)

    So at what point in your parenting career did you get so fucking lazy that you let a phone do your parenting for you? Yep, I went there. Now sit down again and shut UP. I am not talking about a 16 year old with a car. In that instance, then yes, I think the child should have a phone. If they get in an accident, then of course the cell phone virtues are plenty. I am speaking of 10-15 year old kids. I'm sorry, but at that point in their lives, you should fucking know where they are every single fucking moment of their fucking lives. When they are at their friends' houses and shit, there is a phone there - they can call from there. You can drive to that location and check up on their little lying asses and make sure (from the street with binoculars) that they are where they say they are and the hot guy in Chem class is NOT there. When a child has a cell phone, it gives them a level of freedom that no one at that age can handle. Guess what phone their friends will call? Yep, the cell. That's on vibrate in their room so you have no clue they are on the phone. You are not losing out on the facts of your kids lives - who they talk to, when they are on the phone, etc. You need to know your kids' friends. (Don't even get me started on computers with internet access being in a child's room - I could go for DAYS.)

    My point is that if you are too lazy to care properly for your own children, it angers me. I saw 2 10 year old girls at the mall/movie theater this past weekend. My friend and I had din din at a nearby restaurant and took a stroll to get some ice cream. They were sitting there with oodles of boys around them that were too old for them with nary an adult nearby. In fact, there was not an adult ANYWHERE. But these girls had cell phones so CLEARLY they were fine, right? Clearly their parents were in total control of their kids' well being. And of course, those 2 girls would not end up in the parking lot in the backseat of some 24-year-old guy's SUV giving him a blow job, right? Yeah, talk to the cops on duty at that mall. It happens at least a half dozen times a NIGHT.

    So, I beg of you - if you absolutely insist on giving in to your children's whims about wanting a phone (and I know how it is - my niece wants one and has wanted one since the age of 9 - um, yeah), just please don't let them parent your child for you and give you a false sense of security. It is a whole different world out there. I am only 32 years old and the things that have changed since I was 15 are staggering. It causes me to get really nervous about having kids. It also makes me realize that my kids will fucking hate me. But then, that's how it should be, right?

    Elizabeth at 7:49 PM

    22comments

    Wednesday, August 02, 2006

    Stole this from Nappy

    9 Lasts...
    1. Last place you were: Um, been home all day, so let me think.....Oh, Walmart. Sorry, Kami.
    2. Last drug used: Apri, b/c pills since my monthly visitor has never ever been regular.
    3. Last beverage: Coke Zero
    4. Last kiss: The Pooper
    5. Last movie seen: Star Wars with the hubs - he had never seen it. Yeah, I know.
    6. Last phone call: The girl asking for all of our email addresses.
    7. Last cd played: Julie Roberts
    8. Last bubble bath: No clue - our tub sucks ass.
    9. Last time you cried: Some time this week.

    8 Have You Evers...
    1. Have you ever dated someone twice: yes
    2. Have you ever been cheated on: Oh yeah, and the 3 of us (the three girls) got together and compared notes and ended up getting really great revenge. Another post for another time.
    3. Have you ever kissed somebody and regretted it? Yes
    4. Have you ever fallen in love: Yes
    5. Have you ever lost someone: Yes
    6. Have you ever been depressed: I have never been diagnosed, but I think I have on two separate occasions.
    7. Have you ever been out of the country: Mexico, Canada.
    8. Have you ever been on TV: No

    7 States You've Been To...
    1. California
    2. Arizona
    3. Nevada
    4. New Jersey
    5. Florida
    6. Pennsylvania
    7. Louisiana

    6 Things You've Done Today...
    1. Blogged
    2. Kissed my husband
    3. Checked my email
    4. Watched the rerun of Y&R on The Soap Channel - I heart satellite
    5. Studied some stuff for work.
    6. Made spaghetti and meatballs for din din.

    5 Favorite Things...
    1. A fantastic book that leaves me wanting more.
    2. Sleeping
    3. Receiving a magazine on my days off in the mail knowing I can now go in and sit and read whatever it is and eat chocolate.
    4. Decorating the house for whatever season.
    5. When I manage to capture the sunset in a picture.

    4 People You Can Tell Almost Anything...
    1. Wendy
    2. The hubs
    3. Jen
    4. Victoria

    3 Favorite Colors...
    1. Blue
    2. Green
    3. Purple

    2 things you want to do before you die...
    1. Squeeze me out some chirrens
    2. See Greece

    1 thing you regret...
    1. I would have dealt with the ex-wife from the very beginning instead of relying on my hubs to do it because he hates confrontations and it has caused us more problems than she is worth.

    Elizabeth at 8:06 PM

    10comments

    I have been tagged by the Cheekster.

    1. Do the following WITHOUT complaint.
    2. Choose five people to do this after you've completed yours.
    3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she has been tagged.
    4. Start your post with I have been tagged!
    Then do this. (copy and paste!)



    Favourites:
    Favourite Colour: That is a toughy. I would say blue or green. Or purple. I don't know.
    Favourite Food: Pizza stacked with more pizza and then a short rest for more pizza.
    Favourite Movie: OK, get ready. Steal Magnolias, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, What Lies Beneath, Rear Window, Legally Blonde - I am sure I am missing one or two.
    Favourite Sport: to watch live? Steelers football bitches. Couple weeks before preseason and I have NFL ticket. Yeeeehaw.
    Favourite Day of the Week: Sunday.
    Favourite Season: Fall
    Favourite Ice Cream: That new shit called Cyclone - it is like soft serve and their cookies n cream is the bomb diggity.

    Currents:
    Current Mood: Sorta tired today. No clue why.
    Current Clothes: PJs - yep, I am working in pjs. Life is good.
    Current Desktop: Sunset
    Current Time: 12:16 PM - I am taking my lunch.
    Current Surroundings: I'm in the living room, sitting on the obnoxious sectional watching the news
    Current Annoyances: Oh, that list is never ending.
    Current Thoughts: Is summer done yet?

    First:
    First Best Friend: Misty

    Last:
    Last Drink: non-alcoholic? water. alcoholic? margarita for dinner saturday night.
    Last Car Ride: Day before yesterday. Have I mentioned I work from home and have no commute? Mmmhmmm.
    Last Crush: Oh, probably Matthew McM doing yoga on the beach. Him is ever so loverly.
    Last Phone Call: the hubs
    Last CD played: New Julie Roberts CD - the country singer not the giant toothed redhead

    Have you ever:
    Have you ever dated one of your best friends: YES
    Have you ever broken the law: yes
    Have you ever been arrested: Nada
    Have you ever been on TV: Not that I am aware of.
    Have you ever kissed someone you dont know: maybe a peck on the cheek - but that is it.

    Things:
    5 things you are good at: Remembering meaningless crap from movies and shit. Cleaning the house - I am a cleaning machine when in the mood. Organizing shit. Baking chocolate chip cookies. Imitating people to make the hubs laugh.
    4 things you have done today: Worked, ate breakfast (peanut butter toast), this meme, and annoyed the dog by yelling "'Allo, puppy!!!" in a British accent - it fires his ass right up.
    3 things you can hear right now: The news, the a/c just kicked on and the clackity clack of my typing.

    Damn I am not sure who to tag. Just do it if you want. I know I am breaking the rules. Sue me.

    Elizabeth at 1:16 PM

    8comments