Thursday, April 28, 2005

The knot in my belly is now gone

So very much can happen in 24 short little hours. I came to work yesterday near tears and with a giant knot in my belly from the sheer stress of it all. Work had become intolerable and I had already sent resumes out. I was ready to walk, people. Well, fairly early on in the day (which was Admin Professionals day or whatever fuckin' PC title they gave what used to be Secretary's day) I had received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from Mike, the boss who had been so incredibly nasty. My only thought was that clearly these had been on order for quite some time because we have been hating each other for a week. Not long after the flowers showed up, Mike comes strolling into my office with the subpoenas I had asked him to sign and decides we need to have a pow wow. Long story slightly shorter, he claims to have never meant any of the outright nasty things he said to me in the manner in which I took them, blah blah blah. In his defense, we have always had a very informal way of speaking to each other - i.e. calling each other fucktard, etc. However, the tone of the emails in question were so different. I whipped out said emails and went over them saying "OK, what did you mean here....and here....and HERE???" The one thing that is making me sorta believe that he is truly just this clueless and not the mean bastard I had been seeing was that when I told him he had reduced me to tears 5 times in 3 days, he looked truly shocked. I made sure to watch his reaction because I have a good bullshit meter. He truly looked amazed. Well, I am in wait and see mode now. He could very well just want to put his pissy ass mood behind us and is merely doing damage control. I have no clue. I am glad I confronted him and do not regret it in the least. For the time being, I am staying put but if he ever treats me that way again, I am gone pecan. I will never be truly comfortable with him again because a part of me just does not buy the whole "I had no idea how you took it" crap, but at least I am not crying at the drop of a hat anymore and I am getting sleep.

On a different note, still no word from R. We are going on a week now. The killer is that I am not all that worried about it. If he contacts me, cool. If not, I imagine I will live. I still fail to understand the way my brain works and how I can be all fired up about something or someone and literally can change my tune within a few days. Very odd. Maybe someday this will all make sense. One can always hope.

Elizabeth at 10:17 AM

7comments

7 Comments

at 9:33 PM Spurious Nurse said...: Glad the tension is easing, hopefully things continue to get better...

I'm loving "gone pecan".
at 7:37 AM Anonymous said...: Very happy that work is more tolerable. It was good of him to have the pow wow. Good of you to listen, and confront him on what you needed to. I hope it contiunes to get better for you.
at 2:33 PM Annejelynn said...: I've often found (usually way after the fact) that whenever someone has 'wronged' me, he/she usually had no idea as to how much their simply and essentially thoughtless behavior affected me...if called on it, by me, he/she usually had a chance to explain or realize what they'd done and to then clarify to me their perceived intent to harm (on my part_ hadn't been there = they didn't mean it.

It's unbelievable the amount of people out there - ass holes - who often don't realize how they treat other or how they can make people feel...but often, when faced w/ the reality of their behavior (at least in my experience), they had no idea what they had been doing to those around them - they were too wrapped up in their own thing to see

k - off my soap box. Glad things seem to be improving for you - fingers crossed.
at 12:00 PM beautiful face said...: please do tell me about "G"....
at 12:01 PM beautiful face said...: ....errr....I meant "R".....
at 12:07 PM Elizabeth said...: Bellacarra, what would you like to know? I will answer what I know but possibly not on here. I think his privacy has been invaded enough even though I do not believe he knows where to find my blog.
at 1:08 PM beautiful face said...: SFG, I would love to know how our situations are the same or different. Is this person someone you see regularly? Why? What's missing in your life? I think you know my story...