Thursday, May 26, 2005

Stolen from Cherry

1. My uncle once: drove like a lunatic on a country road so that my cousin and I would laugh at the car dancing.

2. Never in my life: have I jumped out of a plane - nor will I.

3. When I was five: I was in kindergarten and I got the chicken pox. I found out because it was going around my school so my teacher decided to raise my shirt up on the fuckin playground to check and see if I had them since she saw a spot on my arm or something. Even though I was all of 5 and had no boobies to speak of, I was horrified.

4. High School was: pretty much a drunken stupor but fun as hell.

5. I will never forget: all the dialogue in the movie "Legally Blonde."

6. I once met: Phil Bourque, formerly of the Pittsburgh Penguins, in Gabriel's when I worked there while in college. He was a total dickweed when I asked him and his skanky ass wife for an autograph. Fucktard.

7. There's this girl I know: who has really ugly feet and INSISTS on wearing flip flops a lot.

8. Once, at a bar: I dropped $250 somewhere and never found it. I had earned that cash working that night waiting tables. I was not thrilled.

9. By noon I'm usually: tired and ready to get the fuck

10. Last night: I got some work done, found a house I want to move into and loved on the animals a bit.

11. If I only had: brain power to remember things that would bode well for me instead of stupid useless trivial crap.

12. Next time I go to church: I hope they do not speak in tongues because that shit freaks me out.

13. Terry Schiavo: Oh, let's not go there.

14. What worries me most: Not having a baby.

15. When I turn my head left, I see: Binders binders binders from an upcoming arbitration. I so love securities cases.

16. When I turn my head right, I see: my calendar of the Greek Isles which makes me want to go on vaca.

17. You know I'm lying when: I say I voted for Bush.

18. What I miss most about the eighties: being young and with no responsiblity.

19. If I was a character written by Shakespeare, I'd be: fuck if I know. I so never got the thrill of reading Shakespeare.

20. By this time next year: I hope to be in a new house and knocked the fuck up.

21. A better name for me would be: No clue.

22. I have a hard time understanding: how stupid people tend to have lots of money.

23. If I ever go back to school I'll: probably love it because I am the biggest dork ever created.

24. You know I like you if: I try to make you laugh.

25. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: God.

26. Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: What the fuck?.

27. Take my advice: Never marry before the age of 25

28. My ideal breakfast is: french toast with maple syrup and bacon - none of which I cooked.

29. A song I love, but do not have is: "I Don't Wanna Be Lonely" by Rob Thomas

30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest: Michaelangelo's pizza - you could wring the grease out of that shit but it is nectar of the gods.

31. Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: Something I love, something I have, something I don't understand, and something I will never be.

32. Why won't people: get the fuck out of my way when I am on my way home from work.

33. If you spend the night at my house: I will try to keep the dog from jumping on you in your sleep.

34. I'd stop my wedding for: Too late - wedding done ovah.

35. The world could do without: fucktards in general.

36. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat one.

37. My favorite blonde is: Not a fan of blondes, so not sure I can answer that.

38. Paper clips are: way to prevalent in my work life

39. If I do anything well, it's: Making people laugh.

40. And by the way: my undies have creeped up my ass. Pardon while I dislodge.

Elizabeth at 1:57 PM

4comments

4 Comments

at 2:38 PM Shari said...: LOL!! You poor thing. You must have been horrified having the teacher lift up your shirt on the playground! Now a days, your teacher would have gotten arrested for that shit.

I totally love Rob Thomas too. I have all the Matchbox 20 CD's, but havent gotten around to geting his solo CD.
at 5:58 PM Amy said...: When I was five I had pneumonia! And I was in the hospital and there were no beds in rooms available! So I was out in the hall on a guerney! And the nurse gave me an aspirin suppository up me arse in front of the whole hospital world!

Number 39 I agree with. Just from this list I can tell you be funny, girl.
at 9:14 PM Kathryn said...: You are a funny, funny girl and make me LAUGH!
at 10:12 PM Anonymous said...: This is great. You steal, I steal, we all steal.