Thursday, July 28, 2005

Ranting

I am in one hell of a PMS induced state today people, ok?

1. I have said it before but clearly it bears repeating - courtesy flushing. Jesus Christ, people, whatever the fuck comes out of you is fine but save us all from having to smell it while it stews under your ass in the toilet.

2. I love summer but the thing I hate is seeing people's gross feet hygiene or lack of it. If you have funky feet (read: unpedicured) just cover them up. Currently my feet are not spectacular. Do I have open toed shoes on? NO. Even if you don't do the whole polish thing, just grab a damn floor sander and grind off the 27 years worth of dead skin off your heels.

3. Same topic but this deserves its own number. The airbrushing. ON THE TOES. Seriously? Is this what we have come to? This woman in my office does it and the thing is that the end of the nail is done in like a dark color. I truly thought for months that her feet were just dirty. If you gotta do the airbrushing, then do something light, feminine and delicate. If there is even a chance that someone with think you got crud under your toenails, I am gonna go with DON'T PICK THAT COLOR OR DESIGN.

4. Oh, this is also potty related but I forgot to add it to the courtesy flush rant seen above. We have this temp secretary in, right? She seems nice enough, but let me tell you about her bathroom habits. The noises that come out of this woman are PRICELESS. OK, I mean shit happens, right? (Pun so intended.) I would just let that go but do I really need to hear the groaning and moaning to go along with the splish splash in the bowl. "Oh lord....Oh Jesus......" I am so not fucking joking. I had to do what I had to do and run out of there to keep from a.) dying from the smell and b.) laughing like a hyena on crack at this woman's obvious lack of discretion.

5. I have no energy and there is absolutely nothing on tv in the summer. Therefore I have given into watching the Bobby Brown reality show. The funny thing is that everyone thought he was such a downer and how he brought Whitney down. Um, not so much. Shit, at least he has a sense of humor about the shit that has happened in his life. Whitney, that skinny ass bitch, is just a nightmare - as if her overindulged daughter. If you have not seen the show, I think it is on tonight. It's like a car wreck.

6. Meetings. What are the point of them?

7. The utter lack of vacation for me this year. I won't be going anywhere until December and then it is to see family. Call me a bitch but that is not a vacation for me. I want to be somewhere nice with a beach and no one that I have to be nice to - other than hotel personnel.

8. My internet radio thingy won't work so I am listening to Joss Stone's CD RATHER LOUD to annoy the dude whose office is next to mine. I am just evil.

9. Just found out that the guy next to me is in depos all day so my evil plan is for naught. FUCK.

10. I want to leave early. I am starting the plotting now.

Elizabeth at 11:11 AM

4comments

4 Comments

at 11:41 AM Sherriatric said...: I made a sign for my office called "Public Bathroom Etiquette 101"

It's funny. I just emailed it to you.
at 11:47 AM Shari said...: Too funny about the temp making noises...you have me laughing!! :)
at 11:53 AM Danielle said...: OMG!! Don't kill anyone! lol yeah this weather mekaes me so damn tired it sucks lol. Hang in gurl.
at 1:17 PM Jomama said...: Oh Lord. . . Oh Jesus. I'm going to be laughing about that for the rest of the day.