Thursday, August 04, 2005

Angry white female - Bring on the hate

I know this post will piss some people off and rub other people the wrong way but I honestly could not give less of a shit. This is my blog full of my opinions and if you don't like it, go find some PC bullshit to read on the fucking Rainbow Coalition website.

I live outside of New Orleans. Now why on earth would one live outside of New Orleans - a city that is ripe with history, tradition, fabulous food and beautiful old architecture? Because it is a fucking rat hole, that's why. Orleans Parish (we have parishes, not counties) is riddled with problems from government corruption to rampant crime. And I mean rampant. However, those of us in the suburbs thought we had the best of both worlds. I live a mere 15 minutes from downtown NO (where I work) and the French Quarter, but I am far enough away that I have a nice sized buffer zone between myself and the crime that is in our news every single damn night. Or so I thought. Recently, the crime has started to make its way across the bridge to my neck of the woods. It seemed to be a relatively slow progression and was just a shocking story here and there and the perpetrator of the crime was always from New Orleans. ALWAYS. Now it is becoming way too common. I live in a relatively small town. There is a somewhat bad section but if you mind your business while you pass through and don't hang out on the damn corner, you are normally ok even at night. Where I live is racially diverse which is fine with me. There is trash in every race. I know this because I have seen it and am related to some, ok? This is not a white/black thing. If you think it is, then suck it. But I am sick to death of this bullshit. There is a small jewelry store on the main road that runs through my town. It was robbed (or attempted to be robbed) a few weeks back. Three young black males (one drove the getaway car and is still at large) and two men entered - one dressed as an old woman. He busts his gun out of his purse and demands money. Well, guess what the owner of the business did. FUCKING PULLED OUT HIS OWN GUN AND STARTED SHOOTING. Vigilante justice? Maybe, but you know what, good for him. Maybe those fucks will think twice before fucking with his ass again. Or maybe not. This morning at around 7 AM (a time that I think most people in the world feel safe) a young Asian girl was shot and killed in a convenience store that is less than 300 feet from my husband's fire station. Now that shit is too close for comfort. What if he had been in there getting coffee or what have you? I would now be a widow at 31 and his kids would be without their dad. All because some piece of shit asswipe was not content to just take the money, but he had to show his fucking ass. Well, you know what? Fuck that. I moved here from up North with a decidedly different, much more liberal attitude than I have now. I am sick to death of working my ass off and being thankful that we can pay all of our bills and still have a little mad money to get crazy and eat dinner out. I am sick to death of seeing women with 7 children have no incentive to go out and work because why the fuck should they? The gov't makes it too damn easy to be fucking lazy. Where does this attitude come from? The attitude I am referring to is the entitlement attitude. Guess what, my friend? You are entitled to DICK. Go out and get a fucking job and shut the fuck up about how oppressed you are. Pay your fucking bills, pay your fucking child support because I am sick to death of my tax dollars being spent not on our public schools which are falling apart daily but on your stank ass.

I am tired people. Really tired. I feel so angry inside and I don't want to feel this way. This next part is really gonna piss people off but I want you to think about what I am saying. I was horrified when I first moved here at some white people's attitudes towards black people. HORRIFIED. I was right out of college (well a year out) and I was very idealistic and thought that every one deserved the benefit of the doubt and that we were all good if given half a chance. That idealistic girl has been crushed down by what? By not being able to go watch a movie at the theater nearest my house because of being so angry last time due to people screaming out at the screen, talking on their cell phones, WALKIE TALKING on their Nextel phones, and generally acting rude and very in your fucking face about everything. I am very jaded now. I never wanted to be this way but there you have it. You might think that I have crossed over to the dark side a little too easily but this is 9 years in the making. Nine years of having black girls threaten to kick my ass if I ignore them when they yell at me, nine years of having black men suck their teeth at me when I walk by and then call me a racisit bitch if I don't immediately respond in a way they like, nine years of being bullied into thinking that I somehow had done something wrong. But I haven't. I am just living my life - with my friends from all walks of life and background.

I know this might sound like I am talking in gross generalities, but that is not my intent. I have several black friends who are as horrified by the behavior of other black people as I am. How sad is that? My friend Karen has told me more than once that she is ashamed of her race more than she is proud of them. That's sad, people. And let me be clear - this is something I have encountered since coming here. I never saw things this poorly in CA or PA. Never. So I have no clue what that says about the South. It can't be a good thing though.

So for all those reasons I am thinking seriously of what I want to do with my own children when I have them. What am I going to teach them? Teach them to never use the "n" word, of course. Teach them to treat everyone they way that person treats them. And then wrap them in Kevlar, send them to school and pray I guess.

Elizabeth at 10:53 AM

11comments

11 Comments

at 11:23 AM Danielle said...: AMEN. I hear you loud and clear I feel the same way; I dont know about ALL PA but I can tell you the same shit goes down in Philly.
at 11:48 AM Nessa said...: it's sad, but you've got something there - I've noticed it is more predominant in the south. Everytime I go up north or east or to the midwest - it is rare that I see a person of color acting like an ass. I grew up with a fairly open mind, being raised in a town that had JUST segregated - I should have been more jaded. Especially since my grandparents throw around the "n" word like it's a preposition, but my parents did a better job & I never really saw anything bad. Now that my husband works in the ghetto, it's hard not to be jaded because I see what these people do...it's not their color, it's who they are - it just so happens to be that the majority of them are dark-skinned. We keep it out of the house & away from our children, but I'd be lying if I said our conversations didn't include any type of racial stereotypes. Enough blabbing from me - but you're right, it's not about color - it's about the person.
at 1:19 PM Jomama said...: I think only the ignorant people you are frustrated with could be offended by this post because it is so true. I see it all the time and it frustrates and embarrasses me to no end.

BTW, what nationality is your husband? You showed a picture before and he looked black to me. Or maybe it's just a tan? I went to look at it again and I really can't tell.
at 1:36 PM MsPerdie said...: I hear you, and I feel you. being black, but being privileged NOT to grow up in the ghetto (military brat) and being able to live many different places, and experience many different cultures, I see that these people are everywhere. It's so sad, because they blame everything on "the man" but actually need to take a look at themselves, and maybe even their parents, to figure out why they have this mentality, and act the way the act. It's a shame, it really is...
at 1:47 PM Sherriatric said...: Your post hits very close to home.

Right after I graduated from college, I moved to DC -- more specifically -- to Anacostia. Anyone who is familiar with DC is probably recovering from a mild heart attack right now. Anacostia is the place where cab drivers refuse to go, the place where you feel naked without a kevlar vest, the place where, when I would board the bus to go home, the bus driver would inevitably ask if I knew where I was going. I used to walk down the street to the grocery store people would throw things at me and say things I could never bring myself to repeat. I used to stand at the bus stop and hear women right beside me talk loudly about the "honkey bitch" invading their neighborhood.

I remember thinking that they were perpetuating every single negative stereotype ever formed about their particular race. And these tend to be the very first people to moan and groan about being "oppressed" and to pull the race card as soon as something doesn't go their way or to accuse other black people of being "too white" if they choose to live better lives and be respectable human beings.

Ignorance.

I know that this type of self-defeating behavior spans all races to some degree, but my most personal experience just happens to be the one describe above.

I just don't get it.
at 2:26 PM Elizabeth said...: My husband is Filipino. The fact that he is a giant leads everyone to believe that he could not possibly be of any sort of Asian descent. LOLOL. I tease him mercilessly about it too. Thank God he knows I am joking because, um, have you seen the size of him? He would crush me.
at 3:49 PM Laurie said...: I am also from Louisiana, and I lived in the 'burbs of New Orleans, once. My husband and I got tired not only of living near New Orleans and all the crime that goes with it, but of the fact that we started to not feel so safe there.

We're now an hour away, and couldn't be happier. Baton Rouge still has it's own troubles, but we know how to avoid it. I wasn't sure how to do that in New Orleans.
at 10:14 AM Anonymous said...: I notice here to where I live. Probably not to the degree that you see but it happens. We are so close to both Philly and NYC and have had quite the influx of trash from both places thanks to the prison system and a "do-gooder" nun who thinks that bringing people from the ghetto to our area is going to improve their lives. its just making my town a horrible place to live. My office is in a really sketchy part of town, we have shooting, rapes, stabbings more frequently than we should and when people are arrested, they are always from one of the urban areas.
at 9:07 PM Unknown said...: I understand how you feel but I'm sorry you have be so tired and angry. I have traveled all over the country, including N.O. many times and I think it is much worse where you are, then where I am in Philly. Sure, we have our fair share of stupid people, white and black, but most of the black people I see around are pretty nice and considerate. Not nearly as rude and lazy as those I remember from New Orleans.
at 9:14 PM Politically Homeless said...: I lived in Slidell for three years and worked in New Orleans. Love the city but it can be a downright scary place at times. Wanna know fear? Park your car about 10 blocks off Bourbon Street and walk back to it at 2 a.m.
at 11:26 AM Anonymous said...: Amen Sista!

Quit having kids and get off your ass and do something! For heavens sake.
You know I have 2 kids and dont work, but their dad pays childsupport and I get student loans 3 times a year. It tight as fuck, but I make it work. I hate seeing people have kid after kid when they cant even support the current kid!

OR! This is fucking great!
Driving down the street, and a trash ass person walks soooo slllooowww across the street that it stops traffic. But...their entitled. You better stop your car and wait for them, then...they give you a nasty ass look. WTF!

Ok, done ranting. Thank you.