Tuesday, September 13, 2005

The day my world almost crashed into a gully

OK, so last week (Wednesday I think - the days run together now), the mother and I and the zoo of pets are beginning our trek from Vicksburg, MS to Pittsburgh, PA. Being that the trip is a cool 16 hours of driving, we decided to break it up and stop in Louisville, KY the first night. Well, my wee lass, Reba does not like her cat carrier, but me being the responsible pet owner that I am always tosses her ass into it if she goes in the car with me because it is the thing to do. Now y'all know how much I adore by baby girl, right? I mean I just love her to pieces. She is very prissy and very scared of EVERYTHING so anything that upsets her routine just sends her fluffy ass right into a tizzy. Let me further preface this story by pointing out that my mother has done nothing to assist me on this trip from HELL. In the week prior I had gone from NO to Memphis (12.5 hours due to traffic evacuating), Memphis to Vicksburg (just over 4 hours), Vicksburg to home and back in the same day (started at 7 am and got back at 10 PM - yes, that's right - 10 fucking PM - once again traffic) and then from Vicksburg travelling to Louisville. I was tired. I was cranky. I was sick of being the fucking adult. I am travelling with another damn adult so why am I doing all the work? But I digress. My patience was gone. Any car trip with the cat in the carrier is started off which her expressing her dismay by meowing. LOUDLY. In this sad pathetic way that sounds like "Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!!!!" Like "what the fuck kind of shit is this that y'all are up in the a/c and I am in this cage back here with the damn DOG?????" Suffice it to say she is not pleased but she settles down eventually. It normally takes 30 to 40 minutes. Well, this day it was not that way. She hollered. And hollered. AND HOLLERED. Finally she got so fucking pissed off that she pissed and shit in her crate. I truly think that she did it out of absolute anger and fear because never in the almost six years I have had this cat has she does this - even on the 10 hour evacuation to Houston last year. OK???? With me? So rather than make my sweetness lay in piss and shit, I make the executive decision to pull the fuck over and clean our her carrier. To do that, she needs to come out. Well, we were in the middle of Butt Fuck Nowhere Mississippi. No gas station to be found. No rest stop. NADA. So what can I do? I gotta clean her up, right? I pull off the next exit which has nothing there. We get off the interstate and I find a place to safely get off the road. I explain slowly to my mother that her role in this (her only job thus far, mind you) is to hold Reba close to the ground after I get her out. Squash her fat, fluffy body to the ground because if she gets any traction under her little feet, she will fight to get away. I no sooner have dumped the shit out of the carrier that I hear "REBA!!!!!!" and see a streak of red going towards the trees and a 30 foot drop into a gully. My fucking heart stopped. For those of you who do not have pets and do not get the pet love, just stop reading because you will vomit. I seriously just lost it. All the pent up frustration towards my mother just erupted. She is hobbling down the grade towards Reba screaming like a loon thereby scaring my girl even farther into a fucking briar patch. I went ape shit. I started screaming at my mother "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER - ALL YOU WILL DO IS MAKE IT WORSE." Believe it or not, screaming this once did not do the job. I also said "YOU ARE UNFUCKING BELIEVEABLE - I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU LET HER GO!!!" OK, I am being honest here because I know this does not paint me in a very nice light but I had HAD IT at this point and the thought of losing my girl just fucking kicked my selfish bitch self into high gear. I normally keep her safely tucked away but she came raging out, ya know? She finally backed off. I almost had Reba in my hands and she got spooked again as a car pulled up and ran farther across the woods. The car held the man who eventually, after at least 30 God Damned minutes, grabbed her and dumped her ass back in the carrier. He was obviously dressed for work. I clearly made his ass late. He was in the back of the woods and briar patches getting cut the fuck up on them and continued to help me until we had her back. I don't even know his name but I am indebted to him forever. I can't imagine not having my little girl. Even thinking about that moment when I thought she was gonna jump down into that gully makes my stomach knot up and the tears start. I mean, what if I had lost her? This is not an outdoor cat. She has no survival techniques. She would have been dead in a day. No doubt. My baby girl. I would have had to have been put in a fucking loony ward. When she ate the dryer sheet and got so sick, my husband told me after she was ok that he was worried about me because I would not handle it well at all losing another cat. I mean, losing the Big Bubber about put me into a depression. Losing Reba would have been it for me. Seriously. This is not dramatics.

Anyways, she is back in the carrier; this wonderful man is on his way back to work; Mom and I are in the car and she has the NADS to say that Reba scared her. Ladies and gents, I am here to tell ya that it took every single solitary bone in my semi-decent body to not fucking kick her out of the car. I sat there and cried and cried because it was just such a nightmare. I called my husband and cried some more. I just did not even speak to her for a good few hours. I had to calm the fuck down. I love my mom, ok? There are a lot of issues there that I won't discuss here but she can send me into a fucking pisser of a mood QUICK. I knew that if I spoke to her before getting my bearings I would say more shit that was uncalled for and just mean. I can be a nasty muthafuckah when provoked, ya know? Anyways, that's the story about almost losing Reba. As I write this, she is all hunkered down on the floor taking a snooze. She always greets me in the morning and I always tell her how much I love her. Because I do. Thank the Lord for that man. Without him I would be in a really bad way right now. So, thanks nameless stranger. I hope that when someday you are in a bind and have no clue how to fix things, someone helps you the way you helped me.

Elizabeth at 11:01 PM

14comments

14 Comments

at 7:01 AM Danielle said...: nice to see there are people out there that will still help and so glad to see you blogging gurlie!
at 7:07 AM Bex said...: Wow girl, what a story! I have 2 dogs, a springer spaniel and a boxer, and I adore them beyond belief. I can totally relate to your fear and am just so glad Reba is happy and safe.
Cheers to the nameless stranger!
at 7:21 AM Anonymous said...: Yowza, I would have flipped on her ass too! Glad you got Reba back safe and sound...i love my furbabies more than I like most people so I understand the level of hysteria you were going through..it was all totally justified!
at 9:24 AM Pissy Britches said...: We gotta find this man that helped you and send him some free dry cleaning or something.
I am glad I am not the only person that cusses out their parent. I just did it to my Dad on Saturday. God I try to behave but I just can't help myself sometimes.
at 10:20 AM Leesa said...: I know EXACTLY what you were feeling, I am the same way. I would have reacted the same as you did. God Bless the stranger that helped you.
My animals are SO important to me and I worry everytime one just sneaks out the screendoor.
I'm so glad you, your family and your pets are safe :)
at 10:21 AM Nessa said...: I feel ya' darlin' - glad it turned out okay!
at 11:21 AM Lushy said...: I would have lost my shit, without question. I did go into a depression when my cat died and now I'm hypervigilant about my new kitty. I don't blame you one bit. So glad you got her back and that the man stopped to help you. It's good to know that there are people out there like that.

P.S.-I've yelled at my mom like that for lesser offenses. Oops.
at 11:44 AM Torrie said...: I would have freaked out too!
at 1:31 PM Weetzie said...: Oh I woulda lost it too if anybody had let my babies out in the woods!
at 6:31 PM MsPerdie said...: I'm glad you got Reba back. I'm not a pet lover, but I do see how you can love them so much.
at 7:09 PM Kathryn said...: So sorry about that ordeal sweetie. That sucks. As if you haven't been through enough.
at 10:11 AM Shari said...: Glad you got the kitty back. And moms can be VERY stressful to have around....especially for you right now...you have a lot of things you have been dealing with!!
at 12:54 PM Annejelynn said...: that is absolutely amazing! that that man -a total stranger- not only stopped his car at all, but then??? THEN went running around the woods to help you get your baby back!?!? THAT ROCKS! THAT'S AWESOME!!!
at 12:05 AM Spurious Nurse said...: Just wanted you to know, one of the first things Mateo mentioned when he got to Cali was you.

"Is SFG OK?"

We're still thinking good thoughts and praying for you and yours. Every single day.

(sorry I missed you in Pittsburgh!)