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Thursday, October 06, 2005

You know you live on the Gulf Coast when....

You have FEMA's 1-800 number on your speed dialer.

You have more than 300 C and D batteries in your
kitchen drawer.

Your pantry contains more than 20 cans of Spaghetti
Os and Boston Baked Beans.

You are thinking of repainting your house to match the
plywood covering your windows.

When describing your house to a prospective buyer, you
say it has three bedrooms, two baths and one safe
hallway.

Your SSN isn't a secret, it's written in Sharpie on
your arms.

You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home
Depot.

You are delighted to pay $3 for a gallon of regular
unleaded.

The road leading to your house has been declared a
No-Wake Zone.

You decide that your patio furniture looks better on
the bottom of the pool.

You own more than three large coolers.

You can wish that other people get hit by a hurricane
and not feel the least bit guilty about it.

You rationalize helping a friend "board up" by thinking
"It'll only take one gallon of gas to get there and
back."

You have 2-liter coke bottles and gallon milk jugs filled
with water in your freezer.

Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain;
today you can assemble a portable generator by
candlelight.

You catch a 13-pound redfish in your driveway.

You can recite from memory whole portions of your
homeowner's insurance policy.

You consider a "vacation" to stunning Tupelo,
Mississippi.

At cocktail parties, women are attracted to the guy
with the biggest chainsaw.

You have had tuna fish more than 5 days in a row.

There is a roll of tar paper in your garage.

You can rattle off the names of three or more
meteorologists who work for the Weather Channel.

Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your
roof.

Ice is a valid topic of conversation.

Your "drive-thru" meal consists of MRE's and bottled
water.

Relocating to South Dakota doesn't seem like such a
crazy idea.

You spend more time on your roof than in your living
room.

You've been laughed at over the phone by a roofer,
fence builder or a tree worker.

A battery powered TV is considered a home
entertainment center.

You don't worry about relatives wanting to visit
during the summer.

Your child's first words are "hunker down" and you
didn't go to UGA!

Having a tree in your living room does not necessarily
mean it's Christmas.

Toilet Paper is elevated to "coin of the realm" at the
shelters.

You know the difference between the "good side" of a
storm and the "bad side."

Your kids start school in August and finish in July.

You go to work early and stay late just to enjoy the
air conditioning.

Elizabeth at 10:33 AM

6comments

6 Comments

at 10:47 AM Blogger Nessa said...

sadly, I can relate to some of those...glad someone could put a humor spin on the tragedy :) hope you're doing good! I did you!

 
at 10:55 AM Blogger Cherry said...

SFG - That was kinda funny, but I feel bad it was funny. :) Glad you are back home.

 
at 10:57 AM Blogger Pissy Britches said...

Awww..that makes me sad..but funny too.
You are so fabulous..having humor in this has got to be hard.
I would just be pissed off for the rest of my life and die of a heart attack.
You rock SFG.

 
at 11:11 AM Blogger Tara B! said...

At least those whores (Katrina & Rita) didn't wreck your sense of humor! Glad to know everything is okay (and I mean that in the loosest way possible) and that the Southern Fried Family is on the mend!

PS-Your FIL...what a cutie! I just wanna squeeze him.

 
at 12:53 PM Anonymous Lisa said...

Good to see you posting regularly again!

 
at 5:51 PM Blogger Annejelynn said...

wow - you're a posting maniac!

as for this post - it's funny, but it's sad too :(

 

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