Saturday, November 12, 2005

The Bubber

I just watched "Ladder 49" for the first time so I am feeling rather melancholy. Bear with me while I regale you with the story of the Bubber.

Bubber's name was Minew and he was my cat. Let me describe. All black, short stumpy legs, very fluffy which just served to add to the appearance of girth and piercing green/yellow eyes. NOT FRIENDLY. Where Reba is just your typical definition of anti-social, Minew was downright mean. However, he loved him some mama. I got him from a girl I used to wait tables with. She had gotten him but her other cat was not taking to the new addition well and was basically beating the tar out of him. I was not looking for another cat, but by now, y'all should know I am a giant animal wimp so I took him in. Minew did not make a huge impression on me initially. I had another cat, Buford or Big Boof as I called him. That cat had a giant fucking head but that is another post. Anyways, Minew never really latched on to me and we all just sort of co-existed in my apartment for a while. Then one day it all changed. As anyone who has ever waited tables will attest, the first thing anyone wants to do upon getting off work is change clothes. Whether you realize it or not, that smell sticks to you - good or bad. So I sat down to take off my shoes and Minew did this thing to me that forever had me wrapped around his fat little paw. He sauntered up to me on the bed. (And he so sauntered too. No strolling or merely walking for my boy.) When he got next to my arm, I don't remember clearly but I probably greeted him in some way. He then banged his head on my arm and ran his head up the length of my arm until he could go no farther and then he just stared up at me adoringly. Now anyone who has any sort of heart would be hooked and I so was. From that point on, he was my boy. He did this head arm bang and look for the rest of his days and I loved it every single time.

As time went on, I met the husband and Minew was none too pleased. Who was this man and why did he think he was welcome in our bed? (For those of you who thought I remained a virgin until marriage, skip this paragraph, would ya?) Anyways, even after the husband became a regular fixture around my world, Minew, at best, tolerated him. Sometimes. It was not below him to take a swipe if he thought that the husband got a tad too close. My absolute favorite was when the husband and I would be laying in bed watching tv or talking and Minew would ever so slowly and passive agressively make his way right in between us even if there was a total of 3 inches of space. He just took one step after the other until his fat black ass was firmly ensconced in between his mama and the enemy. After a while, even the husband found this charming.

Minew was my absolute love. I just adored him. I loved his fat ass. I loved his incredibly slow swagger. I loved that it took him 15 minutes of contemplating to decide whether to take the leap from the coffee table to the couch. To make what could be an incredibly long story, somewhat shorter, let's just say Minew got sick. He got a fatty liver disease - fitting since he was a house. Basically his liver could not process his food anymore correctly and he got jaundice and ended up poisoning his own blood. I took him to the emergency vet initially and then to his regular vet the next morning where he stayed for a week and $1100. He finally came home with me on a Saturday morning and I very naively thought the horrible part was behind me. I had to force feed him because he had to get food in his system and he hated it. I mean, try to picture filling a syringe type deal with incredibly wet, foul-smelling food and then shooting it into a cat's mouth when you have said cat in a death grip. It was just awful. I did it though because it needed to be done and I loved him. This was Saturday and Sunday. I went to bed Sunday night and Minew was there on the bed with me miserable but there and I was happy to have him. The husband missed all this because he worked all weekend. I was awoken at about 2 in the morning by what can only be described as a distress yowl. Minew had to have taken every ounce of his sad strength to holler for me and let me know all was not fine. I woke up and jumped out of bed and turned on the light. He was still right next to me but was clearly in distress. I called the husband at the station and just cried and freaked out for a few minutes. Minew was salivating heavily and not breathing well. I finally had the husband call the ER vet and tell him I was coming while I scooped the cat up and got him in my car. I drove in a horrid rainstorm to the ER vet and was nothing short of hysterical the whole way. I have never felt such pain in my whole life. I knew this was it and I was alone with him. I got to the vet and scooped his lifeless body out of my car desperately clinging to the hope that he could be made ok. When the vet examined him and felt over and over for a heartbeat, I just sat and cried next to the exam table. The vet finally looked over and me and shook his head. I am not sure how to describe what I felt. I was obviously despondent. I can honestly say I have never felt that sort of sadness in my life. I have been lucky in that I have had to deal with very few deaths of those around me and obviously, none of those people who are really close to me. Maybe when that happens to me, I will be able to write that night off as merely sad but for now, it still breaks my heart. As I write this, I can recall so clearly how that felt and I cry every time I think of him. I still can't talk about him and the silly things he did for too long or it gets to me. This was almost 2 years ago - December 7, 2003. I really felt like I failed my boy. I should have noticed something sooner. I don't suppose I will ever be able to not blame myself for his death. I am just glad that I can think about him and laugh about him sometimes - for short periods - and not fall apart. He was the first pet I had that I truly felt was just my little love. He adored me from the very beginning. What person could ever resist that? I still miss him when I come home. I can't imagine that will ever go away.

Elizabeth at 10:34 PM

6comments

6 Comments

at 8:36 AM Melanie said...: I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost one of my dogs to what we think was a heartattack and I will never forget the look in her eyes as she stared up at me. I hate it. I will never get that visual out of my brain. At least we have all the happy memories and funny stories.
at 10:17 AM Kami said...: Poor Minew. SO sad. Thanks for making me cry.

It's not your fault! You wouldn't have known what to look for.

Damn these furry babies of ours and what they do to us!
at 12:22 PM Unknown said...: I suppose that dry eyes don’t really go along with your story of Minew. Mine are misting, but since it’s not manly to cry… (I wonder why I still even think that crap?)

Since Alex has decided that playing outside with his cat buddies is more fun that sitting by a window looking out, I have been having these increasingly worrisome thoughts that Alex may get hurt in his worldly jaunts. I couldn’t accept the loss of him.
at 5:34 PM lawbrat said...: Sorry to hear that. Kitty's get so close and its so very hard to lose them. I hope you feel better after writing it out, and he knows you love him.
at 7:35 PM Nap Queen said...: Oh, what a sweet kitty and what a sad story. It's never easy to lose a pet. They're part of the family. I'm know Minew was so happy to have such a loving owner. He knows you did everything you could to save him.
at 6:34 PM Caroline said...: This post broke my heart.

:(