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Friday, November 04, 2005

I have to post this here so I don't actually say the words out loud

I am so fucking aggravated. We have had plans for, I am guessing, three years that this Christmas, we (we being me the husband and his children) would be spending Xmas with my father's side of the family in Phoenix. I very stupidly thought the hard parts were done - those being buying the plane tickets and getting the ever so important OK from the ex-bitch. All that was done and has been for MONTHS. Oh, how naive I can be.

Let me paint the picture. The daughter is 17 and has a boyfriend. Y'all, I really try hard to remember that time in my life. You know, when my world was my friends and my boyfriend and my family was just a minor annoyance with which I had to deal. I do remember that - CLEARLY. I think I have been rather understanding about any of the crap that has come up. Until now. I am just fucking over it. The ex calls the husband today. There is a problem. WELL, WHAT A GOD DAMN SHOCK. The daughter is not thrilled to be spending her entire Xmas break with us in Phoenix. She wants to go but just wants time here too. My husband suspects that her real problem is that she won't see her boyfriend on Christmas Day. OK, I get that too. Believe me, I do. I pitched a total conniption fit once when my fam wanted me to go to dinner with them rather than to my boyfriend's house. I mean, an all out FIT. And I was 16 at the time - not 4. So I see where she is coming from. What chaps me is the underlying problem here. It is not the daughter wanting to see the boyfriend. It is the fact that anything and everything having to do with my husband, me or our families means nothing to these kids. NOTHING. We are afterthoughts. Or even worse, we are walking wallets. My dad and step-mom may not be perfect but they are busting their ASSES to make sure these kids have a good time. They have spent the last 6 fucking weekends going all over God's creation finding things to see, things to do, places to eat, go here, go there and all in the name of these kids not being bored. They know that the husband and I will be fine with whatever. I mainly just want to see family. However, being that my parents are, in fact, PARENTS, they know that a 15 and 17 year old's idea of big fun is not hanging out with family. And what do we get? Nothing. We don't get "You know what, Dad, I have never been on a fucking airplane and thank you spending your hard earned money to take me on one." Or "It will be weird and kinda sad not having Mom at Christmas but I am excited to meet more of Miss Liz's family." Hell fucking NO. Trust me, the bitch is laying the ground work. "Well, I guess we had all better enjoy Thanksgiving as a family since y'all won't be here for Xmas." (Insert martyred sigh here.) Is it too fucking much to ask that these children be somewhat interested in something other than their mom's family? Is it too God damned much to ask that they give a shit about their dad's dad who is sick? Apparently the answer to those questions is a resounding yes. It is too much to ask. Why do I continually set myself up to get my feelings hurt? Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? Well, sign me up for the fucking straight jacket then because clearly I have issues.

I'm just sick to death of this shit, y'all. Blended families are a total misnomer. There is no blending. It frequently ends up with his and hers with one of the two getting left out in the cold. Well, it's cold out here, y'all. Really cold. And I need a parka. I never thought it would be this hard. I thought that if we were loving and kind and understanding that we would be ok. So. Very. Wrong. So now I am pissed and I'll tell you what. I don't even want them to go with us now. But that is just between you and me. And, of course, the internet.

Elizabeth at 11:25 PM

10comments

10 Comments

at 12:34 PM Blogger Nessa said...

this post scares me because I don't ever want to be a blended family - I'm sorry, hon!

 
at 1:58 PM Blogger Mama Duck said...

Oh my God, that just sucks.

Go fix yourself a drinkie-poo and swear a whole lot. I find that helps when I'm really, really super pissed.

 
at 2:27 PM Blogger Chelle said...

Oh Hon, do I understand..*nods* I'm a stepmom to a 2 1/2 y/o who's mother is the biggest assbat in the world. and it's only just begun...we can get mama duck and the drinkie poos and swear a LOT together...*heh* nice to meet ya hon, sorry it was under such circumstances. *hugs*

 
at 2:33 PM Blogger Danielle said...

Gurl you got that!!!! I don't think I would have the patience to deal with that, seriously. I think you have handle it well, really.

 
at 3:02 PM Blogger Carol said...

Wow, that sucks. I'm sorry, too!! Try not to worry too much about it all. You tried and that is all you can do.

Drinks. Lots of drinks. : )

 
at 3:29 PM Blogger Chelle said...

*LOL* no problem ma'am on the Steelers thang..I saw it before I posted.. ;) I promise not to hate ya or hold it against ya...LOL thanks for your comment and for coming to my site! have a good'un !

 
at 3:49 PM Blogger Nap Queen said...

Suck-o-rama. Maybe some retail therapy is in order? oooo, yeah, buy a new Steelers sweatshirt or some socks? No? Hmmmmm, maybe just the drink and the swearing, then...

 
at 7:10 PM Blogger Holy Schmidt said...

I'm sorry, sweetie.

That's about the point that I said, "Well, since we already paid for your tickets, and now you dont' want to go, there will be no presents." Then slap them and put Draino in their Tab.

 
at 11:25 PM Blogger Kami said...

Ugh, sorry. Big hugs.

Dumb asses.

 
at 9:39 PM Blogger mamalujo1 said...

After reading your comment to my "Emotional Affair" post, and thinking about it today, I wanted to come back and comment to this post of yours. Here's my two cents: I hope the venting has helped. It certainly does sound like a situation that sucks a well-hung donkey. I don't know what, if anything, I could say that would "make it all better" or even just help a little, but I guess that's not really your purpose. I will say this: fuck it, drive on. FIDO, for short. I've used it on many occasions. There's a lot more shit ahead, good and bad, that will put this whole incident somewhere back in the suck-fest archives that being a grown up, in a blended family, involves. Thanks for listening.

 

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