Monday, December 12, 2005

Open letter to backyard neighbor

Dear Fucktard,

Do not tease me into thinking you are finally getting around to fixing the fence from the hurricane by putting in the metal poles AND THAT'S IT. I am tired of looking into your living room that is so hideously decorated that it gives me a tic. I am tired of your yapping dog coming in my yard, shitting and then firing up all 4 dogs next door. Trust me, that big ass Rottweiler? He is only not jumping that fence and eating your dog for an appetizer by choice. I am tired of your dorky ass son hitting his tennis ball with his wiffle ball bat into our yard and then taunting said dogs yet again. This fires up the Pooper because, of course, he can't go out back since there is no fence so he whimpers and whines because there is an overgrown rat in HIS YARD. So put the wood up, bitches. NOW. Or I'll have to cut ya.

Thanks,

The bitch in back

Elizabeth at 12:33 PM

5comments

5 Comments

at 3:44 PM Danielle said...: Haaaaa!!
"I'll have to cut ya!!"
Let it out gurl!!!
at 5:50 PM Tammy said...: I love the word fucktard. So funny!

Send all of your animals back there and into their yard. That should make them put it up. If not, go back there yourself, drop trou in their yard and let fly, sister.
at 5:51 PM Elizabeth said...: See, Tammy, that's why I heart ya. LOLOLOL

My white ass would blind them and then no fence would go up EVER. However, I could fling some of my cooking over into their yard. That surely would screw them up.
at 3:53 AM MilkMaid said...: THE BITCH IN BACK ...bwaahahahahaha!

I don't miss neighbors. I now only have one, the redneck next door. And he's two acres away, cloooossse enough.
at 11:00 PM Fightin' Mad Mary said...: I thought I had problem neighbors, at least yours have the hurricane to blame, mine have no excuse. I posted photos of their junk yard on my blog - you should do the same.