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Thursday, December 15, 2005

Stolen from Nessa - this shit is funny

Santa Clause
North Pole, Earth

Dear Santa,

I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Wendy's Office party. It was Jen who spiked the punch with too much Vodka and cranberry. I can't help it if I drank 7 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like dog farts.

I thought it was funny when I put Victoria's thong on my head and danced the hokey pokey on the desk chair while singing `"Gold Digger"'. I didn't mean to break Wendy's remote control and don't know why Wendy would accuse me of public drunkeness.

I don't remember calling Kenny's wife a stupid rooster---even though she looked like one with purple eye shadow and mustard yellow lipstick!

And when I threw up on Lynn's husband's boobages, it was only because I ate too much of that lasagna.

After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my Dodge Ram through my neighbor's attic. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a dreary elephant and have me arrested for indecent exposure!

So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all annoying and loud. And I'm really not to blame for any of this stupid stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!

Sincerely and slowly yours,
SFG (Really a nice girl!)

P.S. It's only 17 bucks!

Elizabeth at 7:57 PM



at 10:45 PM Blogger Nessa said...

heehee - yours is funny!!!!

at 2:18 AM Blogger spoonleg said...

mmmm, man boobs!

at 8:31 AM Blogger Danielle said...

haaaaaaaaaaaa gurl that was awesome!!!

at 9:30 AM Blogger Kat said...

that is some hilarious shit

at 10:00 AM Blogger Tammy said...

Damn girl, you really need to lay off the bottle! :)


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