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Friday, April 28, 2006

Some stuff that is on my mind

To Jennifer Love Hewitt: Or Wondertits as my cousin Jen calls her - please, darlin, not everyone needs to see your mammaries overfloweth. It is just not necessary. What the fuck is with the Hepburn-esque eyeliner and false eyelashes? Like every day. You were supposedly all sick or something in one episode of this damn show and you had full make up on. INCLUDING LASHES. It's ridiculous, so just stop it.

Am I the only person that when you hear someone say "If you've got a problem..." I immediately to say "Yo, I'll solve it" and do the kick ball-change move that Vanilla Ice did back in the early 90's? No? So, that's just me, then? Mmmmkay.

Does pizza and chocolate constitute a varied diet? No? Wrong again? FUCK!!!

Does the show "Deal or No Deal" infurate anyone else? When some fuckwad who makes a total of like $25K a year throws away like $125K because their greedy asses are trying for the damn million, I want to jump through the screen and yell into their faces that if their children don't get to go to college due to their financial dipshitness, then they have only their selfishness to blame. I can't watch that show or my blood pressure skyrockets and I get a headache.

Why do I feel like I am not really "reading" when I read these like easy to get through chick lit type books? I feel like I am somehow cheating and not really like enriching my mind or something. Why can't I just sit back and enjoy them since I so clearly do?

Why am I dreading this damn wedding shower tomorrow?

Why do I dread going to be in my very best friend's wedding? I am like totally treating it as a chore. That is not being a very good friend.

Why am I completely obsessed with celebrity gossip?

On that note, is anyone else disgusted that Denise Richards is straddling her ex-bestfriends's (Heather Locklear) soon to be ex-husband (Richie Sambora)? I mean, that is just fucked up, no?

What planet of backward and not right do I live on that Britney "I don't drive with carseats and my baby fell out of a highchair thereby necessitating visits from Child Services TWICE" Spears can get pregnant TWICE and I am going to have to shell out over $10K to maybe get knocked up by my husband who, unlike Kevin Federline, is employed times deux?

I am watching a tv show where a girl got a cop stripper at her bachelorette party. Why do I feel like I got so screwed over because I so did not get one?

Does anyone else think that Kelly Ripa lives a charmed life? She works approximately an hour a day for one show, has a second show, and is married to Mark Consuelos. Other than having to sit next to Regis, her life is flawless.

OK, I guess I have emptied my mind for now. I'm sure there will be more mindless drivel to follow.

Elizabeth at 8:47 PM



at 10:25 PM Blogger Football Widow said...

OMG, you are cracking me up. I agree with you on all those. I guess I missed the memo that Britney was actually pregnant again. I had heard rumors but no real announcement. Thanks for making me have Vanilla Ice stuck in my head for the rest of the night.

at 8:42 AM Blogger Territorial said...

Yup..Vanilla Ice Ice Baby is playing in my head too. LOL

Same thing used to piss me off about Who Wants To Be A Millionare.

And don't let Spheris get you down. It's like that for everone in the beginning.

at 2:21 PM Blogger Mainline Mom said...

Did you just read my mind or what? Oh yeah, and I totally am proud of myself for reading ANY book, even if it is just chick lit. Just finishing up Jemima J now...good read.


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