Sunday, May 14, 2006

Is this karma coming back on me?

I wish I knew why they did not give a shit about me. I wish I knew why they have made it abundantly clear that my significance begins and ends with what I can do for them - normally in a financial sense. I wish I would stop feeling like shit every Mother's Day when the phone call telling me that they want to at least acknowledge me never comes. It will never come and I need to make peace with that. I wish it did not still hurt me a little bit to have made the decision to remove them from my life. One would think that since they are only in my life in the most peripheral sense that it would not make a big difference. Like the equivalent of maybe losing a favorite pair of jeans or something. I really wish that I truly and completely did not care because I am so tired of being hurt and for no one (and I do mean NO ONE) to be looking out for my benefit.

However if this is karma coming back on me for some past transgression, I get it, ok? Move on to someone who is more deserving for the deluge of shit. I am tired of shoveling.

Elizabeth at 11:08 PM

11comments

11 Comments

at 11:24 PM Kami said...: I'm sorry, honey.

Jerks.
at 12:25 AM Charm Bracelet said...: I'm so sorry they can't be decent and treat you like shit. It breaks my heart that you are so hurt by their rudeness. They don't deserve you. You already know that. I hope you are blessed with children of your own. Very soon. You truly deserve all of the magic of motherhood, not just the wicked stepkid treatment.
at 12:28 AM SuburbanMom said...: I'm sorry :(
at 8:43 AM Jomama said...: I'm so sorry :(
at 9:21 AM Wendy aka Cheeky said...: {{{HUGS}}}
at 10:31 AM Tammy said...: Screw 'em. They are KIDS. They are so suseptible to what their POS mother says/does that they can't see straight.

You will have your own children someday to make your life complete. Then you won't care what those kids think.

(((HUGS)))
at 12:13 PM Pissy Britches said...: The appreciation will not come now.
All we can do it hope for it later when they realize what assholes they were.
I'm sorry sweetie.

HUGS.
at 12:55 PM Kate Giovinco Photography said...: I wish there was something I could do! Hang in there hopefully someday they will appreciate you or atleast you will stop caring.

Good Luck!
at 4:19 PM Sea_creature said...: I don't blame you for feeling hurt. First, you think and make excuses that they are just stepkids, selfish teenagers and their mother is a bitch from hell who hasn't taught them one iota of respect... Then you think that you deserve at least a little acknowlegment since you've helped them financially over the years AND treat their father well and THIS makes you hurt. That's almost impossible to get over and forget about. It's not karma. You have a lot of love to give and you deserve better. I sure hope it comes to you. Feel better...
at 12:11 PM Tina M said...: Ohh, {{HUG}}!!
at 3:52 PM Kerri Anne said...: Ugh. The way you have been treated just irks my soul. I know it's been said, but I, too, am sorry. I sincerely hope it gets better. Smooches babe.