Sunday, May 07, 2006

A really frightening confession

I am really terrified right down to my bones that I will never be a mom. My husband needs to have his vasectomy reversed and while I know we will get that done (even if I have to sell my fucking plasma), I am so afraid that maybe his stuff won't work or my stuff won't work. I truly do not know what I will do.

I don't talk about this much because, frankly, it is too painful. Most days, I am ok with the fact that I will have to wait a year or two before we can even try, but on days like today, that fear eats me up.

I really hate it. It hurts my heart.

Elizabeth at 11:10 PM

7comments

7 Comments

at 2:45 AM Kerri Anne said...: You aren't alone in this fear babe. And while I know I don't know you best, I am sending you lovin' from here, and hoping that your heart hurts less everday. And also: from this girl's vantage point you would make one kickass mom. :)
at 10:57 AM Nap Queen said...: I am soooo sorry that your heart hurts over this. That makes me sad :(

I feel like I have talked SO MUCH shit about how I DON'T want kids, that when I finally do want them, I won't be able to have them.
at 1:35 PM Fabnormal said...: I don't know that it WILL happen, but I'm gonna believe that is will. :)
at 4:37 PM Froggylady said...: I have this fear every single day of my life. To the point that I convinced myself I didn't want kids. Now I want one so bad I can't stand it...and I have to wait too.

I know how you feel and I'm sending you hugs.
at 9:16 PM cassy said...: I'm sending hugs your way. I'm sorry you're hurting over it.

(((hugs)))
at 3:00 PM Melanie said...: I'm so sorry that you have this fear. I don't know much about vasectomy reversals. Just know that we will be here to support you and give you lots of ((hugs)).
at 6:39 PM Unknown said...: Fear is an awful thing, especially when we want something so badly. Hope is a great thing. There is hope, and I will have great hope for you. HUGS from me.