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Thursday, August 03, 2006

Open note to dipshit parents everywhere

***EDITED TO ADD*** I am glad that most you of understood what I was trying to say. For those of you who have children that have cell phones, it sounds to me like you do not allow them to parent your kids. That was totally my point. Like for RSG, whose ex-dickhead won't allow access to her OWN kid, then of course the child needs a phone. However, this rant has been in my head long before I saw those 2 young girls at the mall. They were just the best example I had seen in recent days. I'm sure that they would have tried their hardest to do whatever they wanted anyway, but my concern is that I wondered if their parents had a false sense of security by giving them those phones??? My guess is probably. I've seen it too much among my own friends with teen kids. I am just appalled by the freedom that some of these young kids have at such an early age. That was my point.

Before I even start, let me just proclaim right now that (1) you are right, I don't have kids and therefore (2) you are right again, I have absolutely no earthly clue how hard it is to keep up with said kids. That being said, shut the fuck up and listen to what I have to say. If you need the need to criticize my point of view, kindly sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up. This is my space, fucktard.

OK, parents of tweens and teens everywhere, let me ask you a question. Does your child have a cell phone? If they do, I am not going to loudly proclaim that you are wasting your money and your kid is most likely carrying on a life outside of your walls of which you have NO CLUE, but why do you feel that it is necessary? The hubs and I have discussed this at major LENGTH because I have very loud opinions on this topic. I am not a fan of cell phones, never have been. I so see their use and I do have one - big time. There are major safety issues involved when you are stuck on the side of the road in the middle of the ghetto in the middle of the night, it would be really great to have a phone that is not a pay phone that is not near a gang of thugs that like to hang out near Tulane Hospital ER in the hope of seeing gun shot victims.

Um, not that I would personally know that scenario, of course. Um, ok. Moving on.

So before you extole the virtues of cell phones, I already know them. I DO. Trust me. However, does a 12 year old CHILD (and he/she is a child - don't fool yourself) need a cell phone? Is it for them to call home from where ever? Well, hi, how about a land line? A child should not be anywhere that there is not an adult. So if she is at a friend's house, I would bet a kabillion dollars they have a land line - and said land line would come up on your caller ID as a legitamate place not a fucking CELL PHONE NUMBER THAT COULD BE ANYWHERE. You do realize this, right?

"Hi Mom, my BFF Tiffani with an i dotted with a heart and I have made it to the theater and we are going to see the previously agreed upon movie, Cars, and we will absolutely never speak to strange men. Love and kisses."

Yeah, in reality, they are at a house across town that has lots of boys in it and these boys are currently talking them into engaging in oral or anal sex because, hey, you can't get pregnant that way. (For those of you who think I am being dramatic, statistics back me up here - the incidence of oral and anal sex among preteens is staggering for that very reason. Nevermind, disease or um, OUCH.)

So at what point in your parenting career did you get so fucking lazy that you let a phone do your parenting for you? Yep, I went there. Now sit down again and shut UP. I am not talking about a 16 year old with a car. In that instance, then yes, I think the child should have a phone. If they get in an accident, then of course the cell phone virtues are plenty. I am speaking of 10-15 year old kids. I'm sorry, but at that point in their lives, you should fucking know where they are every single fucking moment of their fucking lives. When they are at their friends' houses and shit, there is a phone there - they can call from there. You can drive to that location and check up on their little lying asses and make sure (from the street with binoculars) that they are where they say they are and the hot guy in Chem class is NOT there. When a child has a cell phone, it gives them a level of freedom that no one at that age can handle. Guess what phone their friends will call? Yep, the cell. That's on vibrate in their room so you have no clue they are on the phone. You are not losing out on the facts of your kids lives - who they talk to, when they are on the phone, etc. You need to know your kids' friends. (Don't even get me started on computers with internet access being in a child's room - I could go for DAYS.)

My point is that if you are too lazy to care properly for your own children, it angers me. I saw 2 10 year old girls at the mall/movie theater this past weekend. My friend and I had din din at a nearby restaurant and took a stroll to get some ice cream. They were sitting there with oodles of boys around them that were too old for them with nary an adult nearby. In fact, there was not an adult ANYWHERE. But these girls had cell phones so CLEARLY they were fine, right? Clearly their parents were in total control of their kids' well being. And of course, those 2 girls would not end up in the parking lot in the backseat of some 24-year-old guy's SUV giving him a blow job, right? Yeah, talk to the cops on duty at that mall. It happens at least a half dozen times a NIGHT.

So, I beg of you - if you absolutely insist on giving in to your children's whims about wanting a phone (and I know how it is - my niece wants one and has wanted one since the age of 9 - um, yeah), just please don't let them parent your child for you and give you a false sense of security. It is a whole different world out there. I am only 32 years old and the things that have changed since I was 15 are staggering. It causes me to get really nervous about having kids. It also makes me realize that my kids will fucking hate me. But then, that's how it should be, right?

Elizabeth at 7:49 PM



at 8:32 PM Blogger Dixie said...

**standing to applaude you**

I don't think I could have said it better myself! I feel EXACTLY the same way about this issue. Don't get me started on the clothes people let their little girls wear! My kids are soooo gonna hate me when they get older!

at 9:15 PM Blogger Gracie said...

I'm not arguin' with you. You're right. My 16 yr old wants a cell phone. All of his friends have them. 98% of the time their parents have no clue as to where their children are. So, um, no. He's not getting one. Period. End of arguement.

And thankfully, he's a great, respectful kid and he doesn't give me lip about it. I only have to deal with the, "But Mom, so and so has one..." ever so often. :) And I can handle that.

at 9:19 PM Blogger suburban mom said...

Hmm. I think I agree with you. Completely.

But I'm going to with hold judgement until my boys get older.

at 9:42 PM Blogger Cheeky said...

I agree with you but the teenage daughter does have a phone...and we monitor it (we know who she is calling and when)....and we show up unannounced at the places she is supposed to be...movies, mall, friends...yep we just show up to wave and say HI.....

at 10:36 PM Blogger Nicole said...

I am totally riding on your band wagon with you chicka. My kiddos better get ready because I am going to be on their asses like white on rice. Umm-Hmmmm you know thats right :)

Smootch, Smootch- YETS

at 11:20 PM Blogger Tammy said...

You go girl.

at 11:26 PM Blogger Shell said...

My cousin's kids have them but she's using it as a tool for them to learn to money manage. They get their allowance half in cash, half in minutes so they have to watch the minutes on the cell or start forking over money to buy more minutes. They like to use them to text but she's like Cheeky...she goes and checks on them where they are. No one can drive yet but the oldest starts in December.

They have those cell phones now that have a GPS in them so parents can see at least where the cell phone is. Isn't the best way to keep tabs 'cause a cell phone can be left at a friend's house but it's a little better.

at 12:19 AM Blogger The Recovering Straight Girl said...

Okay, I'll be the first one.

My almost 12 year old daughter has a cell phone and she has a cell phone only because when she is at her father's house, I don't have access to her. He will purposely ignore my phone calls if I call them at his house. Because of this, I got her a phone so that I would always be able to contact my children when they were with their other parent. She was also responsible for walking home her two sisters from school last year and two days a week, they would beat me home by 15-20 minutes. I liked them to call me when they were on their way, so I knew.

Otherwise, I'm with you!

at 6:34 AM Blogger aka_Mer said...

Wow... you said the 'f' word a LOT in that post. LOL.

So this whole rant comes from seeing these two girls in the mall? :) I'd say they would probably be the type to have these older guys around them even if they didn't have a cellphone in their hand. I'm not really sure the cellphone had anything to do with the lack of parenting involved in getting these girls where they are today. LOL.

at 8:23 AM Blogger Mind said...

BRAVO!! I concur... I just wish my 13 yr old would agree as well. I fight this fight EVERY.DAY. I'm sure there are times when my son absolutely fucking hates my guts because I DO care enough to follow up on where he's at, who he's with, time of leaving and returning (and he best be ON TIME or I'm coming to hunt him down and probably embarrass the hell out of him in the process (and draggin' his 3 yr old little brother with me too)-- these are mandatory at our house and are not subject for debate... and yes, I'm probably the parent that you saw sitting across the street from your house looking in (as SFG suggested)...LMAO

at 9:10 AM Blogger Nap Queen said...

I don't have kids, but I TOTALLY agree. I don't even think 16-year-olds should have one all the time. Only when they are out by themselves. I'm going to sound like an old lady, but WE SURVIVED WITHOUT THEM WHEN WE WERE TEENS? I constantly lied to my parents, and I constantly got busted.

And I would LOVE to read your rant about teens having computers in their bedrooms cause I'm sure I totally agree with you on that one.

at 10:01 AM Blogger The Kept Woman said...

Dead on. Kids or not, that's just common sense.

(huzzah, huzzah)

at 10:35 AM Blogger patti_cake said...

Honey I SO agree with you on this one 100%. My nephwe who will be 18 in 24 days JUST got a cellphone this summer and his little brother who is 11 thinks HE is entitled to one now. Not. I hope my SIL doesn't give in.
I hate that kids are growing up too fast in this day & age. I want my kid to stay a kid as long as possible. You made an excellent post. I am APPALLED at those statistics AND what goes on at the Mall. Good. Gawd.

at 11:00 AM Blogger Fuzzball said...

*Joiing Dixie in her standing ovation*

Babe, you are one smart chick. You're going to make one hell of a mama, too.

Have you seen those cell phones that are marketed to parents for younger kids? They are only able to call two numbers, I think. Like maybe "home" and 911. I have to say that I think those are pretty awesome.

at 12:54 PM Blogger Katie T said...

SFG, I agree with you 110%. I was 21 when I got my first cell phone - 21!! It's crazy to me how many teeny boppers out there have cell phoneS. CRAZY. Now there are circumstances that have already been said when younger kids DO need phones but 98% of the time it's a want not a need.
I think that you are dead-on and I think that it's time for the pendulum to swing back. For years now parents have been kissing their kids asses because no one wanted to upset these bratty little shits that they created. It's time for parents to say "no, end of discussion" and start teaching their kids to be respectful and thankful for what they have.
Is it any wonder that we are a nation breeding obese children? They sit in the house all day watching f-in TV and talking on their cells. You wanna talk to your friend? How about running your ass down the street and talking to them in person...that's right run!
Good blog, girly.

at 2:02 PM Blogger TBG said...

I agree with most of it.

The kids are 4 and 6 and they just got a cell phone one of those firefly ones from verizon so when they move they can call their dad at any time. Becuase their mom is horrible about answering the phone. So he got the kids one but it can call 4 numbers and 911. Dad cell, Mom Cell, Mom Home and an Aunt.

I definitly think that all cell phone use by children should be monitored as well as computer use. It is a scary world out there and only you can determine how much and how little you are going to protect your children.

I agree with your post! But I also feel that in some situations a cell phone is neccesary! I like the emergency ones where you can program numbers and the only people they can call are the ones that are programmed! You can even put a code in so they cant be changed!

at 2:03 PM Blogger TBG said...

Oh and it has GPS tracking as well!

at 2:10 PM Blogger Pissy Britches said...

Both my step kids have phones.
I do not believe they need them in school and that is why we don't allow them to take them to school.
If they break that rule and take them anyways then they face the consiquences.
Plus, we don't have a home phone. We use our cell phones only.

at 2:47 PM Blogger Carrie said...

So what you're saying is, it probably wouldn't be a good idea for me to give my almost 1yr old niece and almost 3yr old nephew cell phones for their birthdays?

Crap. Hope I can find the receipts... they're going to be pretty dissappoited though, they've got lots of peeps at the preschool to keep in touch with. ;)


at 11:41 PM Blogger Shari said...

I think YOU are the kind of people who should be raising kids. How did we turn into a society where people think cell phones and unrestricted internet access are good ideas??

I agree with everything you said. My kids WILL hate me, and then I'll know I'm doing a good job.

The only thing I would let my kids have is a Firefly, because they can only call the numbers you specify, and there may be restrictions on who can call them as well. But it would be for Cub Scout trips where I can't be with them. They will rarely know an outing without one of their parents in attendance.

at 9:12 PM Blogger Kami said...

So, it's not okay that Nik has a cell phone, and I drop him off at the movies?



I'm with you. Nik's gonna hafta earn his phone through "good behavior," and he will get it after he has a car. I think. Who the hell knows what will be going on in 12 years? :)

at 1:26 AM Blogger Football Widow said...

Very well said! I completely agree. Having that damn caller id ruined all my years of lying about where I was. I think we were in high school when we got it. Of course my parents were entirely too lazy to call to see where I was, so I'm sure they would have provided me with a cell when I was younger.

I agree with you about the computers in the room too.

I know there is technology now where you can track cell phones online. My kid will have that fo sho.But I'm sure there is a way around that too.


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