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Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The story behind the last post

OK, before I go any farther, I feel the need to clear something up even though, really, I owe no one an explanation for anything. Regardless, here goes.

If you have read my blog for any length of time (that time being more than a day or two) you know that I have been on a rather long but sporadic search for a church home. I take this seriously, even if I poke fun. If that annoys you, I suggest you move on because I tend to poke at sleeping bears with giant sticks that way. I love nothing more than to be completely unpolitically correct in an attempt to laugh at myself and others. If I know something annoys someone, then I will do it, say it, spray paint it, and put it on a banner and fly it over the tristate area.

Anyway, I was not looking forward to class tonight. Not because of the class per se, but because I was a tired girl. This weather still sucks donkey dicks (I wonder if I can still say that if I decide to join the genuflectors???) and frankly I am always in need of a nap. I was pleasantly surprised. The class is taught by a priest that was a victim of Hurricane Katrina. His parish was in St. Bernard parish and is now, in a word, gone. The Archdiocese tranferred him here and now apparently he is here to stay. To put it succinctly, I likeah him. He is Vietnamese. Y'all know how I am about the Asians. See, I called them Asians in a vain effort to be nice. Damn it, this church stuff is already affecting me. (Hubs, if you are reading this, I promise to still call you a gook and to tell you that all your people drive for shit. That was, after all, in our vows.)

Anyway, the little dude was just cute. Because I am a lumper, he reminded me of my FIL since my FIL is also of the Asian descent. Nevermind they were of completely different nationalities, in my small mind, slants are slants. (Oh, I so can't wait for the mail and comments I get for this shit. SAVE IT. If you know me at ALL, then you know I am joking. If you don't know me, let the bile flow.)

So class was good. I learned some stuff and was pleasantly surprised to find out that Father Asian wants what we say in class to be just that - in class. Our backgrounds are diverse and he wants each of us to feel comfortable to express our opinions, popular or otherwise, so that we can truly find out if this is where we are meant to be. I liked that. I was a tad afraid that it would be like a Fascist government in there with a giant glowing Mary on one side and the fires of hell on the other and that I would be like way closer to the heated part of the room. He seemed open minded (as much as a priest can be, I suppose) and kind and knowledgeable. Of course, he is Asian so that last part comes easily.

I fucking slay me.

Had I known that this class was open to those who have already either been through first communion or confirmation and could be used as a refresher, I'd have lugged the hubs in there with his hell-bound ass. This dude.....THIS DUDE....is useless to me. Case in point:

"Honey, why do y'all do x, y, or z?"
"Honey, the whole this, that and the other, what is the significance of that?"
Ummmmm, (shrug) not sure.

Yeah, he is a bevy of information. It flows right from the Vatican to him. I gots it like dat.

So for the next 25 weeks or so, I shall be in RCIA class on Wednesday nights. Thankfully, I did not have the same experience as one of our fellow bloggers who had to be subjected to inane stories from dipshits that had nothing to do with the topic at hand. I'd have gone the fuck OFF had that happened.

Needless to say, my opinion of class has been improved. However, I will absolutely get my concerns out in the open. I have several of them and I can not, in good faith, commit myself to a church that I am not absolutely sure is where me and my mouth and my beliefs belong. It would be wonderful if this is where I am meant to be because it is something the hubs and I can share and can share with our children.

However, it does not mean that I will stop calling the hubs a gook or saying the F word. I really think it will take an exorcism for that shit.

Elizabeth at 9:39 PM



at 10:31 PM Blogger Adam said...

SFG...Please note that your disdain for political correctness does not go unnoticed. It is refreshing to read your cracker-ass-cracker commentary!

at 10:41 PM Blogger The Kept Woman said...

Holy shit.

I'm dying..."straight from the Vatican to him" amongst others.

at 11:35 PM Blogger Nicole said...

You crack-ah-me-up-ah.

I think that any religion, organization, or group would be very happy and consider themselves lucky to have you my dear.

In the meantime I heart you! :) That is all. YETS

at 5:49 AM Blogger Dixie said...

Glad to see that your political uncorrectness wil not be affected. That is part of the reason I'm not into organized religion!

at 9:49 AM Blogger patti_cake said...

Dayum you mean your hubs is in tight with Pope Benny? Kewl.

I like you SFG, mainly because you just.don't.give.a.shit. Oh, and because you're an animal lover :)

at 10:08 AM Blogger Katie T said...

I'm so excited for you!! I've been thinking about doing the class and becoming a Catholic as well and reading your blog about you doing it now is a sign. W're military so we might be moving soon - that's why I haven't acted on it yet...fear of having to do it twice. I already went through it once as a Lutheran. LOL. I look forward to hearing more about your classes...you really crack my ass up. I {heart} Asians too!!

at 10:13 AM Blogger Tammy said...

I think the fact that you will take the annoying shit and fly it around the tri-state area is the reason that we all love you.

You don't owe anybody anything. Especially the judgmentals.

at 12:00 PM Blogger TBG said...

I love coming here and reading what you have to say! I found your post hysterical yesterday and enjoyed your recap today! Yeah my ex was a catholic that never shared the church stuff, I would ask he would say I dunno ask my parents, blah blah blah! Yea glad you know your religion buddy!

at 2:51 PM Blogger Nap Queen said...

Father Asian??? I heart you so much. You are hilarious. That is all.

at 3:48 PM Blogger Shell said...

You have to drop a few f-bombs because if you don't what the heck will you talk about in confession? The Priest expects more than one confession. When I was little and I know I did far worse than I was going to confess I'd always start with the "I said a cuss word". Then the "I hit my brother" and end with the "argued with my mother". Priest seemed satisfied with three. You can't use these...you have to come up with your own.

OMG...I am going to have to go see you in your first communion. Nicole and I will have to make a special trip for that one.

Why'd you end up with an Asian boy? There's plenty of white trash men out there looking for a good'un like you to keep at home to beat and keep pregnant. ;-)

at 4:51 PM Blogger Carrie said...

You know there are lurkers just SEETHING because they can't rebuttle. You are so damn funny. Who knew a white girl could be so funny?

Oh, and I finally figured out my sisters YETS (your evil twin sister) I thought she was saying something like not getting to meet yet... same thing with how she signs off on my step neices site - YESMN (your evil step mother nicole) For the longest time I thought she was spelling Yes'm! wrong. :P

at 11:46 PM Blogger Kami said...

You just crack me right up.

at 12:56 AM Blogger Sheri & SuZan said...

You fucking slay me too!

Holy shit indeed!


at 8:55 AM Blogger Cheeky said...

From one Cracker to another - you crack me the hell up!

Love the un PC - I am very unPC - hate it!

And good for you for giving it a shot....I haven't found a church since I moved to Minnefreakinsota.....maybe its a sign....see I KNEW it!

at 9:35 AM Blogger Mama C said...

Ok. As a Catholic, you have to remember that we were just forced to attend church and get all the sarements. We really don't know a thing about Jesus.

However, my hubby, who hates going to church, knows all about the Bible. If you have questions, I bet he knows the answers. He is strange like that.

Good luck with this endeavor.

at 11:14 PM Blogger Football Widow said...

Father Asian. You crack my ass up.

at 4:25 PM Blogger Mainline Mom said...

Good for you :)


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