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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Why research is not always a good thing or my other working title which is: Why Google is my worst enemy

Since the Pops was diagnosed with the big C, I have immersed myself in lung cancer research. Now he is having a PET scan on Thursday at 9:30 AM Pacific time. So whatever time that translates into in your time zone, just say a prayer ok?

I also need to just stop with the googling. I also need to stop using work resources (well, not resources per se, but websites that I never knew existed until this job that are, if I do say, the bomb diggity) in order to research every single facet of this disease, its treatment, its survival rate, the different cellular structures, possible side effects of each treatment, and each and every single facet of the PET scan that he will undergo. Seriously, I could kick his oncologist in the nads and just go take over. That would surprise the old stubborn man.

I also need to sleep an entire night. I need to stop with the incessant, strangulating panic that I wake up in sometimes 3-4 times a week. And when that happens, I just lie there terrified that he is gonna leave me. I mean, everyone lives with stress. We all know what that feels like, right? For me it is normally a knot in the gut. Sadly for my thighs, said knot does not translate into lack of appetite the way it does for some others. However, this new stress is accompanied by a new friend, the heart chokehold. Oh, you are not familiar? Let me school ya right quick.

OK, imagine that a big fat kid is sitting on your chest. And the fat kid has, in both hands, 50 pound dumb bells. Every so often, said fat kid decides to stand up and give me, the host, a moment of relief. However, this fat kid......oh, he is a right bastard. When he plops his cellulited rotund ass back down, he does it with a bounce so it hurts just a tad more. Mmmmm hmmmmmm. I have decided to name the fat kid after the ex-wife, even though in my head, the fat kid is a boy and not a woman with 70s hair and camel toe pants.

So, if you have a moment after saying a quick one for the Pops, say one for me too. I am keeping it together with like scraps of thread from the remnant pile. None of it matches and sometimes I think it is fixing to give way.

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Elizabeth at 10:18 PM

7comments

7 Comments

at 11:32 PM Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

You and Pops are in my prayers.

Sometimes too much information is worse than too little. Through Google research, I now suspect that I am allergic to my cat, Alex. I really didn’t want to suspect that.

 
at 11:33 PM Blogger TBG said...

I am so sorry, I hope you get some sleep I know what lack of sleep is like it really sucks.

Sometimes google is way too dangerous. You find things you never wanted to know.

 
at 8:18 AM Blogger Dixie said...

Back away from the Google!!

You and your father are in my prayers.

 
at 10:05 AM Blogger Tammy said...

Will say a prayer for your Pops.

SFG - Step away from the Google. It is a dangerous, dangerous thing.

 
at 10:52 AM Blogger Shell said...

Don't be googling everything 'cause everything out there isn't true.

I can tell you the websites for new drugs being created and tested for cancer right now.

Maybe you ought to go talk to your Doc about maybe some anti-anxiety meds that you can take for a little bit. It would help you sleep better.

 
at 11:08 AM Blogger patti_cake said...

I will definitely be saying a prayer for your Pops tomorrow.
Try to relax a little honey, haven't you heard stress can kill you?

 
at 2:45 PM Blogger Carrie said...

I'll keep your dad in my thoughts and prayers.

I have learned to stop my obsessive googling of everything. I am sure I have symptoms of every illness out there. :P

Drinking helps. ;)

 

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