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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

You asked, I answered and a quick PSA

OK, I am in one hell of a mood today, so here are your answers plus a quick shout out to the man I live with and am legally bound to. Questions first. Oh, and I don't do the link thing because I am tired and don't wanna.

1. Cheeky asked: If you could meet one blogger, who would it be? Well, that's tough, but I'd have to say Pissy Britches, because the bitch makes me laugh and has yet to understand the beauty of football. I gotta go up there and school a bitch.
2. Shell asked: How many kids do you and the hubs want? After thinking about it, I am gonna go with one. If situations change and I end up being a Fertile Myrtle, then maybe 2, but no more than that. Those little bastards are 'spensive. And as for the gender, I go back and forth, but I think deep down I want a boy because what is damn funnier than a little boy? Nothing I say.
3. Patti-Cake asked: Gender question as well as what we want to name the poor kid that is bestowed upon us? Well, our choices are Jacob Martin (I love the name Jacob or Jake for short because that just so sounds like a little rough and tumble kid who comes in the house dirty nightly) and for a girl Emma Reese. I also have backups of Jackson for a boy and Julia for a girl. I guess I'll have to see the little spawn first.
4. JD's Rose asked: What is your most treasured item and why? That is tough because I don't know that I have a material thing that is truly that special to me. If I had to pick something, I guess all the pictures I have amassed thru the years.
5. Pissy asked: Have the hubs tell us a good firefighter story. Well, I totally forgot to ask him but I have kind of a scary one. He was in a house fire and apparently, when he went into a room, he got sorta disoriented because, hi, you can't see. The bell went off indicating that his air tank was getting low and he realized he needed to find the door quick. He was feeling down a wall and started to panic but eventually found a window and busted it out. His co-worker said he saw nothing but a big yellow blob come out that window. It's funny now, but that could have been no bueno.
6. Arlene asked: If you could buy any one thing what would it be? Incredibly easy. A house away from here.
7. Tammy asked: How tight are the ex's shorts? So tight I know what the bitch had for breakfast. Also wants to hear my most embarassing story. I don't embarass easily as an adult, so this goes way back to like 1st grade. We were all sitting on the floor I think listening to a story and then it was time for recess. My shoe was untied and I moved my leg to in front of me to tie my shoe and let out the most obnoxious fart EVER. In front of the boy that I liked and everything. Seriously, could have DIED.
8. Football widow asked: If you could live anywhere in the US, where would it be? The world? In the US, assuming I would not have to worry about hurricanes, I'd say the Outer Banks in North Carolina. In the world, that would be Italy, Venice specifically.
9. Toes in the Sand asked: If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Well, I will give two answers, one physical and one personality. Physical - would be ever so lovely to have a metabolism to eat what I wanted because I so can eat like a damn man. As far as my personality, I take things way too personally and get my feelings hurt too easily.
10. Kami asked: Would you rather do Nick or the hot professor? For you sad souls who do not watch Y&R, I feel for you. Answer is the hot professor.
11. Carrie asked: Does it bother you to have an uneven number of pets and would you like me to bring you one from the shelter? I never thought about the uneven number. LOLOL. However, if I bring one animal into this house, Reba already told me she is outta here. She will saunter her fat fluffy butt across the bridge and be a hooker in the Quarter. She is OVER IT.
12. RPM asked: What is my fave restaurant in New Orleans? Well, it was the Houston's on St. Charles but it's gone now and became some weird ass restaurant owned by the same peeps.
13. Sarcasm Queen asked: Doesn't Jack just turn you on a little? I assume she is speaking of Jack from Y&R because other than that, my life is Jack-less. And no. I think he is amusing as hell and he cracks me up, but I so do not find him sexy.

PSA time to the hubs:

If you come home in the same piss poor mood that you were in last night, I swear to Gawd that I will fucking kick you in the face. I am tired of you making faces at me when I ask you to do something. Just fucking do it and shut the fuck up about it. And if you do not stop pouting like a fucking 4 year old, I will smother you in your sleep. With Reba's fluffy ass. Not a good way to go, my friend. Are we clear? Good. Now snap the fuck out of it.

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Elizabeth at 11:49 AM



at 1:02 PM Blogger Cara said...

Dude, the one about your cat going to be a hooker in the Quarter cracked my shit right up!

at 1:26 PM Blogger Shell said...

Poor Reba...always on the verge of being a kooker (that's a kitty hooker).

And when you're done beating up the Hubs will you knock my BF upside the head and tell him there's a difference between being congested and sick. Dumb ass men.

at 1:57 PM Blogger Arlene said...

OH my GOD, you KILL me!! I'm cracking up in my cube like a little possessed gremlin!!

at 5:33 PM Blogger FutureFoodTVStar said...

You crack me up. I guess the same sentence grabed us all... Hooker in the Quarter.

I'm just wondering.. Being a fat fluffy butt... what are her endearing qualities that she would flaunt to win tricks over the other Hookers in the Quarter?

Oh.. and I stole your phrase... Stab You In The Neck... and I ran with it. Lord did I run with it.

Come see.

at 7:32 PM Blogger JD's Rose said...

Ok. If you do end up smothering him with reba's fluffy ass, can you get a pic? I wouldn't mind seeing that, and surely it would have a place in the family album!

at 11:02 PM Blogger The Kept Woman said...

So, did the hubs read the PSA and comply or did you kick him in the face?

at 11:38 PM Blogger Tammy said...

Dude. You farted in class?

at 8:49 AM Blogger patti_cake said...

Good question/answer session.

Love the PSA to the hubs. I was going to do one to mine this morning but changed my mind.

at 9:28 AM Blogger Stephanie said...

You are cracking me up with this shit girl.
I heart you.
Don't kick your husband in the face, stab him in the neck.

at 2:15 PM Blogger Sarcasm Queen said...

I am also cackeling like an old witch in my cube over your answers. The hooker thing sent me over the edge. Yes, sorry for not being specific -Jack on Y&R...it must be the older man with power thing that does it for me - but then again that logic doesn't work for Victor - oh hell no.

at 2:23 PM Blogger Kami said...


I so hope your hubs listens.

Reba. Do not go be a hooker.

at 5:40 PM Blogger Sheri & SuZan said...

I'm still laughing about "nothing is damn funnier than a little boy" comment (you are soooo right).

And poor Reba, just send her to me since we got rid of the lizard.

at 6:04 PM Blogger suburban mom said...

I'm totally with you on Venice...and I've always wanted to go to the outer banks :)

at 9:34 AM Blogger Cheeky said...

I am sooooooo with you on the hot professor....soooooo with you.....

at 10:10 AM Blogger louisiana swamp rat said...

Just out of curiousity - does the hubs read your blog? I'm trying to decide if I should let the wife read mine...

at 7:43 PM Blogger louisiana swamp rat said...

Ouch! Do you ever wince when you realize you mispelled a word in a comment on a blog...like I just did?


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