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Thursday, February 08, 2007

Open letter to my mother

Holy fucking hell woman, you piss me the fuck off. You are not fucking stupid. You are not fucking invalid. Get the fuck over yourself before I take you and your cat and leave you on a set of railroad tracks somewhere with a note pinned to your collar that says "Please take me in."

I am tired of you doing absolutely nothing. I am tired of you acting fucking stupid. I am so GOD DAMNED TIRED. Get up. Clean something. Empty something. Dust something. Why on God's green earth do I have to spell every fucking thing out for you. You have lived 60 some years on this planet. You were a fucking A student in school and very good at your job at one time. Do NOT give me this shit that "this is what happens when you age." You are not 90, for Christ's sake. Guess what? I have a job. I have enough to do. You handle a total of nothing. You pay the 3 bills or so that you get a month without me hounding you but that is IT. I have to take care of everything. I understand that you don't drive. I understand that you rely on me and hubs to get you to the doctor or where ever. But when you bitch to me about your neurologist and then refuse to change from him or refuse to be proactive in any way shape or form, my sympathy goes bye bye.

The next time you accuse me of being anal or of being picky, well, fuck woman, I wonder why? It is either do shit right the first time and realize how much easier life is or do shit your way and bitch the whole fucking time because heaven for-goddamned-bid you had to get off the computer and still have the shit be WRONG. I am not the parent here. I don't want to parent my own mother. It would be one thing if your bullshit was a necessary thing - was literally a medical necessity - but it is not. So get the fuck over yourself. And if you don't go on vacay soon to see the fam, I swear to uppercase GOD that I will just drive you to the airport and leave you there. I need a fucking BREAK.

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Elizabeth at 6:30 PM

10comments

10 Comments

at 7:58 PM Blogger TBG said...

Girl you need a vacation. Houston can not come soon enough!

 
at 7:59 PM Blogger Beth said...

If I didn't know any better I could swear you was writing about my own mother. Hmmm ..

 
at 8:24 PM Blogger JD's Rose said...

Your mum is the female version of my dad! You needto run away before you go loopy!

xxx

 
at 8:24 PM Blogger JD's Rose said...

Your mum is the female version of my dad! You needto run away before you go loopy!

xxx

 
at 9:51 PM Blogger Pissy Britches said...

Ok...this could also totally be a letter to my dad.
Who hit a motherfucker and had no insurance.

You seriously need to come to stay at my house for the weekend.
Yep..come on up to Nashvegas girl.

 
at 7:26 AM Blogger A taste that's bitter said...

You must be working on sainthood, is all I can say, because I could NOT live with/take care of my mother. I love her, but one of us would have to die.

 
at 8:50 AM Blogger Patti_Cake said...

Who knew that parents could be such a trial as we/they get older? My Mom drives me NUTS too. Plays the "invalid" card -WHEN ITS CONVENIENT.
I hope your Mom does give you a break soon

 
at 1:50 PM Blogger Shell said...

BOTH of my parents do that crap. I swear to God if my brother didn't live closer to them and took some of the heat I woulda sabotaged that propane line to the house a LONG time ago.

 
at 5:48 PM Blogger Carrie said...

damn girl. I don't know how you do it. I would lose my marbles.

 
at 9:05 PM Blogger The Kept Woman said...

Soooooooooooooo...how's it going?

 

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