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Friday, December 08, 2006

Um, what the FUCK?

Did I not move away from the Burgh? HUH???? Didn't I? Ok, peeps, before you get all up in my face saying "Hey, hobag, you asked for this shit." Yeah, I did. I did not ask for ice. Never did the words, "Hey some ice would be nice on the ROADS."

Let's face facts - I have very little faith in the dipshits that I live around. These bitches can't handle a slight freeze let alone ice. On the roads. On which they drive. With no blinkers EVER. At 80 mph.

I started work a tad early today so my usual grocery trip to the Wally was at 6 AM. I went in, did my thang and was back out for 7 (seriously, ladies, if there is any way you can shop this early, I highly recommend. It's you and the floor buffer peeps. That's IT.) Anyway, I came out and there was this shit on my car. From far away, it looked like gel and I was fixin to let loose with some non-Catholic approved curse words and all that, but um, no. It was ice. Whatever moisture had been on my car had frozen in the hour I was in the Wally. Then I hear crunch, crunch. I am WALKING on ice. Then I proceeded to almost bust my ass, but that is SO not the point. Of course being that I live in the fucking South, of course I don't have a scraper in the car.

What has happened to me? I used to be a hearty girl. Cold weather - pshaw, as TKW would say. Just bundle me up and I'm good to go. I was whimpering like a little bitch putting my groceries in the trunk (after I busted thru the ice over the lock). My Burgh relatives would be so ashamed. No one tell my Dad what a pussy his daughter turned into.

I went to mass last night with the hubs because it was some sort of Mary day. Conception? Something like that. Celebration of her conception. So I genuflected my ass off then came home to see my boys play some cold ass football.

In slightly better news, did y'all see my boys wipe the slate with Cleveland? Granted, it was CLEVELAND, but man, it was almost embarassing. For them, I mean. Willie Parker broke a franchise record which was cool. I am glad he did not break Franco's record though. That would have made me a sad girl. I loves me some Franco.

That's Franco Harris for you poor poor souls that don't understand the beauty and poetry that is Steelers football.

Fucking heathens.

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Elizabeth at 11:09 AM



at 3:03 PM Blogger Nap Queen said...

That's crazy! It's 60 and sunny here. Yet another reason to move to Texas :)

at 3:04 PM Blogger Nap Queen said...

And I finally updated my blog, your highness!

at 5:04 PM Blogger Pissy Britches said...

Ok...you are saying you had ICE there?
We ain't had SHIT here.
Just cold motherfucking cold shit.

at 7:45 PM Blogger TBG said...

I love the cold weather. Love it!

I hate when people can not drive in it though, pisses me right off!

Glad your boys kicked ass!

at 8:13 PM Blogger Cat said...

Wow! you all got ice! crazy weather!!! I remember when you all got SNOW for christmas. (I didn't get to see it, I was on a christmas cruise out of New Orleans)

at 7:24 PM Blogger Tammy said...

Dude. I can't like ice either.

I love that you said "fixin"!


at 7:51 PM Blogger Just Me said...

Living in Canada it wasn't a Holy Day of Obligation but I attended Mass anyways.

And ice is the worst. Although I really hate winter period...especially that heavy wet packing snow. Shovelling it is a heart attack in the making.


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