Thursday, March 01, 2007

Update

Yeah, the weather here is no bueno. I have a Pooper under my desk and I just got a memo from Reba that she will be moving to sunny San Diego. I could not quite make out the paw scratches but it said something like "First, you brought in that damn dog and now this rain, this LOUD RAIN. You no deserve me. Bon soir."

I had no idea she was bilingual.

Labels: Gage, Reba, Weather

Elizabeth at 2:34 PM

8comments

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Me and Idol - We are BFFs

I swear to God, some fat bleached blonde bitch just said this on national fucking television. This was right after some guy juggled while he sang and then had a fucking shit attack outside after he was rejected for singing worse than William Hung.

Oh man, if you could see Simon's face right now.....Fat Blonde is really trying to bring it. Dude, she has 2 inch roots and 4 chins.

Oh, and I have no words for the girl who sang like the cowardly lion from the Wizard of Oz.

I am only watching this as a favor to Pissy. I think she now owes me her kid.

However, in 16 short minutes, Real Housewives of Orange County is coming on and I fucking dig that show. I know it's shallow. I know the women are botoxed to within an inch of their lives, but holy shit, is it fab. I also watch the Hills so if you are going to rag on me for watching shit that is tailored to a 15 year old, just save it. Heard it, processed it, and I've let it go. I like what I like.

It was back to work today. I am not sure what the hell occurred from yesterday when I had shorts on to today when my feet froze and broke off when I ran the 20 feet from my front door to the mailbox, but holy hell. I don't envy you TX bitches with all that ice. This is more than enough. I do believe that northern Louisiana is getting hit with it now. They had to close a couple interstates for sure.

We had spaghetti, meatballs and garlic bread. Gage was quite transfixed...as evidenced by the following picture:

And yes, I let him eat it.

Labels: Gage, TV, Weather

Elizabeth at 9:43 PM

16comments

Friday, December 08, 2006

Um, what the FUCK?

Did I not move away from the Burgh? HUH???? Didn't I? Ok, peeps, before you get all up in my face saying "Hey, hobag, you asked for this shit." Yeah, I did. I did not ask for ice. Never did the words, "Hey some ice would be nice on the ROADS."

Let's face facts - I have very little faith in the dipshits that I live around. These bitches can't handle a slight freeze let alone ice. On the roads. On which they drive. With no blinkers EVER. At 80 mph.

I started work a tad early today so my usual grocery trip to the Wally was at 6 AM. I went in, did my thang and was back out for 7 (seriously, ladies, if there is any way you can shop this early, I highly recommend. It's you and the floor buffer peeps. That's IT.) Anyway, I came out and there was this shit on my car. From far away, it looked like gel and I was fixin to let loose with some non-Catholic approved curse words and all that, but um, no. It was ice. Whatever moisture had been on my car had frozen in the hour I was in the Wally. Then I hear crunch, crunch. I am WALKING on ice. Then I proceeded to almost bust my ass, but that is SO not the point. Of course being that I live in the fucking South, of course I don't have a scraper in the car.

What has happened to me? I used to be a hearty girl. Cold weather - pshaw, as TKW would say. Just bundle me up and I'm good to go. I was whimpering like a little bitch putting my groceries in the trunk (after I busted thru the ice over the lock). My Burgh relatives would be so ashamed. No one tell my Dad what a pussy his daughter turned into.

I went to mass last night with the hubs because it was some sort of Mary day. Conception? Something like that. Celebration of her conception. So I genuflected my ass off then came home to see my boys play some cold ass football.

In slightly better news, did y'all see my boys wipe the slate with Cleveland? Granted, it was CLEVELAND, but man, it was almost embarassing. For them, I mean. Willie Parker broke a franchise record which was cool. I am glad he did not break Franco's record though. That would have made me a sad girl. I loves me some Franco.

That's Franco Harris for you poor poor souls that don't understand the beauty and poetry that is Steelers football.

Fucking heathens.

Labels: Steelers, Weather

Elizabeth at 11:09 AM

7comments

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Just realized....

In 7 hours, and 14 minutes, hurricane season will be over.

Thank the Lawd.

Labels: Weather

Elizabeth at 5:46 PM

10comments

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Rain drops keep fallin' on my head

How, I ask you, HOW is a girl who loves her some rain storms supposed to do work when there is a luscious rain storm raging out there? This sort of weather calls for candles, popcorn, a throw, the original Halloween movie, and a Pooper by one's side.

Will someone please email my supervisor and tell her I am unable to work today?

Quick side note:

Said storm started about 5 this morning. Now Reba, brave girl that she is with her Paw of Death, hates rain. I never even saw when she took off, but suffice it to say, she is undoubtedly traumatized under my bed.

Gage, my big strong Poop-a-loop, was laying in bed with us. I had gotten up to pee because I pee more than an old man whose prostate is the size of his head, and even the hubs had woken up due to the loud thunder. I climb back in bed with my hubs and my doggie and then the dog sees lightening. Not sure what he thought was going on, but his answer to it was to bark at the lightening. I cracked up. We called him back to the bed to lay in between us and be all secure, so the barking would stop. The hubs fell back asleep, but as I was laying there getting ready to nod off myself, I hear Gage, "Mmmmmmrrrmmmmmffff." He did one of those "I know I should still bark since the lightening is still going, but I am tired bear." The bark was one of those closed mouth, no effort, lip fluttering barks. So there I am, 5:30 AM in a bed with a hairy man, a hairy dog laughing to myself.

That, my friends, in a nutshell, is my life.

*****UPDATED TO ADD*****
It is now noon. Reba just NOW strolled out from where ever her hiding place was. He walked into the room where I work and tapped me on the leg. I look down and she proceeded to meow for 5 solid minutes while I talked to her a made a big fuss because the Queen Bee decided to come out. In essence, she no likeah the rain.

Yeah, she talks to me. Shut it.

Labels: Reba, The Pooper, Weather

Elizabeth at 10:08 AM

10comments

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

I can see it coming.....

I took the Pooper out for a walk this morning, right? And just barely beneath the surface, I felt it....

There was the slightest touch....if you blazed through life, you'd never feel it, but there it was.

The most tiny sliver of a chill. Now the sun was blazing just about squashing that sliver out, but I felt it. It was there. That can only mean that this hellish nightmare of a summer is coming to a close.

I so love fall.

Labels: Weather

Elizabeth at 9:16 AM

12comments