<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d10984815\x26blogName\x3dTwisted+life\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://twistedlifeofmine.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://twistedlifeofmine.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-8579710881784851407', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Friday, January 05, 2007

Batten down the hatches, boys, SFG done leaped head first into the 21st century.

Yes, people, I have given the green light....the go ahead, if you will....for the hubs to get DVR. Before you gasp, but how, HOW have you lived up until now with there being hour upon hour of TV that is flying by with nary a glance from me, let me just point out that I have no life, people. I am at home a LOT. So really, there ain't a whole lot that is getting by me. The only thing I miss is the most perfect show on the planet, Young and the Restless, but clearly God loves me because satellite has a wonderful channel called Soapnet. Ah, the beauty of Soapnet means that Y&R is replayed right at the moment I clock out, 6 PM. I always knew God loved him a good story. The hubs convinced me that we needed DVR. HAD. TO. HAVE. DVR. After watching him twitch and subsequently bang himself head first into the wall for a few months, I actually gave the thumbs up. Oh, and don't give me any shit about holding tight purse strings. You bet your fucking ass I do. Hubs has to submit a written form in triplicate if that bitch wants to buy so much as a piece of chewing gum. Then again, he has his own back account that I have no access to and see none of the cash from. Well, no wonder my ass hurts. Hmmmmm.....anyway, we have DVR as of January 22, 2007 - the first Monday they were available to come out. In addition to DVR, in order to save the whopping 5.99 a month in fees, the hubs talked me into purchasing the plan from the satellite company that will give us every single channel known to man. All the movie channels, all the sports crap, all of it. Guess why we got it? Well, there is some damn SEC shitten station that plays like LSU throwing the shotput or competing in distance spitting and the hubs must see it. He has to see it. For the love of fucking God, he must see LSU compete in midget bowling. So fine. We bought the 80 kagillion dollar package so he can because as he pointed out to me, if we have the mega package, we save 5.99 each month because they won't charge us for the DVR? Well, who the fuck am I to argue with that logic?

In other news, it is another fabulously exciting evening in the Casa De SFG. It's me, the mother, 2 cats, and a dog rabidly slobbering all over the largest chewy rawhide deal known to man. It is shaped like a candy cane but the damn thing is so big that when the hubs brought it home, he looked like a really tall Little Bo Peep with a hormone problem. It's that big. Now that the Pooper realized that it is not going to eat him whole, he has started in on it and woe be the poor cat who comes within a 10 feet radius of him whilst he gnaws. Basically, back off bitches.

I am hoping that I am able to blow into Houston in April for the next Blog Blowout, but as I have told the bitches, it all depends on the Dad. He has one more treatment in a week. Then 3 weeks after that, another PET scan, then one week for results. It will be at that point that we know whether he gets surgery or not. If he does, then I won't be here to attend a blowout. I will be in Phoenix asking my dad things like "Want some water? You need water. How about a cookie? Do you have to poop? Wanna poop? Let's go poop." So in a way, I hope to miss this blowout because it will mean pops is on the mend, but I sure do wanna meet y'all crazy ass bitches.

As I mentioned in my last post, Cowher retired today. Just made me sad. I heart him to pieces. I read the transcript from his press conference today and I actually got teary. Is that normal? The same thing happened when I walked into the room full of busts in the Football Hall of Fame in Canton. I was like overwhelmed because right there, like 2 feet away, was Franco Harris's face. I could like touch it and rub my boobs on it and shit. Not that I did of course. What? Shut up.

One more day of work tomorrow and then on Sunday, we are taking my niece out to eat and either to see a movie or go shopping. Her birthday was yesterday so we want to spend the day with her. Should be fun. I enjoy hanging out with her and her sister. Monday I don't have much to do except for steam clean the carpet. Isn't my life just beyond the scope of exciting? I know, try not to hate me too much.

Labels: , , ,

Elizabeth at 9:53 PM



at 10:52 PM Blogger The Kept Woman said...

I loved Bill Cowher. Good coach and not bad on the eyes during games either.

(whispering...I don't even really know what a DVR is...or does...but I kinda get the idea from your contextual clues)

And first bitches!!! 'Cause I have no damn life...being that it's Friday night and all...

at 10:58 PM Blogger Arlene said...

My hunny is sad to see Cowher go :-( He won't talk about it, which means it's bad!

So, DVR huh? I LOVE MY DVR!!!!! I would never be able to live without it!!!! I haven't watched a commercial in well over a year!!!

And damn, I really was hoping to be able to say "First Bitches!!!"

at 11:24 PM Blogger Kami said...

I love my DVR. It gets my Y&R and 24 for me. :)

at 5:39 AM Blogger JD's Rose said...

Am I the only one on the planet who does not know what DVR is?

at 10:29 AM Blogger Shell said...

DVR is like a Tivo. Tivo is a name brand. You program your DVR to record programs without having to remember the tape and you can even program it to record your program ALL the time.

I've got a Tivo. I was crying when I was in Dallas for NYE that I missed my Tivo. Boyfriend is jealous. You can get addicted.

at 1:03 PM Blogger Lisa said...

Your message to "the big guy" is awesome. heeheee. Tupac... I'm going to be thinking of that and laughing even a week from now.

We don't have a DVR or cable or satelite. I know! Its like we live in a cave or something. But if we had one, my hubby would never get anything done. He's already got an assgrove on our couch... SO as you can tell, we just CAN'T have it in our home as much as I'd like to.

at 3:22 PM Blogger patti_cake said...

Awww I just heart you, you crazy thing!

Cowher will be back coaching in a few years but it won't be the same.

at 8:40 PM Blogger Sheri & SuZan said...

We finially got a DVR this fall and I admit that I 'heart' it mucho.

Welcome to the 21st Century!

Hope all goes well with your dad.

at 6:15 AM Blogger Texan in Kuwait said...

@Well, I suppose it sounds kind of shitty to hope that you're asking your dad is he has to poop, but I really do hope things go well...even if it might mean missing the BB. (Besides, I'd be so jealous if you were there and I wasn't.) =)

Ah, the DVR...I totally AM jelous of that. I miss good TV. But I bought a season pass from itunes to Grey's so at least I have the one show I really, really love.

at 9:29 AM Blogger Pissy Britches said...

I need me a DVR.
I want me a DVR.

at 11:36 AM Blogger TBG said...

I want a dvr so bad!

hope your dad gets the surgery even though there is nothing more exciting then getting to meet you but I want your dad to get better and you can always come to the next blowout!

at 12:18 PM Blogger A taste that's bitter said...

I don't know what kind of sad existence I had before DVR, but I never want to re-live it.

ooh, I hope you do come to Houston...then I will HAVE to go.

at 12:00 AM Blogger Football Widow said...

DVR is the best thing ever invented. Recording stupid ass Elmo on SS has saved me a few times with the kid.

Is it bad that I don't know who Cowher is?


Post a Comment