<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d10984815\x26blogName\x3dTwisted+life\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://twistedlifeofmine.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://twistedlifeofmine.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-8579710881784851407', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

I'm missing him a lot today. Isn't he cute?

Elizabeth at 2:50 PM


Animal Planet

Elizabeth at 1:06 PM


Monday, February 27, 2006

The Bachelor in Paris and my thoughts on Mardi Gras

I am sitting here watching Dr. Travis McCutie try to decide who to pick to be Dr. Mrs. McCutie. On the one hand, there is Sarah. She is from the same town as him, Nashville. She is a kindergarten teacher and just cute as hell. Very sweet and seems like someone who would be so fun to be friends with. Then, there is Moana. She is from California and has major issues. I mean, the girl has broken the fuck DOWN on many different occasions. I mean, who knows, maybe this really did open up a flood gate of emotions for her, but Good Golly Molly, the DRAMA. Clearly I hope he picks Sarah.

Things here are slowly getting back to normal. I have been trying to catch up on things. The husband went back to work. In fact, he works a ton this week so I won't be seeing him much. The good news is that he could very possibly be changing fire stations which would be fantastic. I choose to not go up there and visit him because I truly detest the people he works with. If he moves to this adjacent station, he is with the same fire company but in a station by himself. I could go have dinner with him, etc. That would be a huge plus. Part of the problem is that he has to work with his ex-brother-in-law and frankly I don't like his ex-wife or her family being in our business. I mean, it is just too uncomfortable for me over there and I am glad that perhaps in the near future, I won't have to feel that way anymore.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAW! He picked Sarah. I love it I love it I love it.

OK, on to the post. Can I just say how absolutely ridiculous I think it is that this city is for having Mardi Gras? For those of you that are not truly aware, Mardi Gras is more than one day. It is roughly two weeks of parades, balls, costumes, drinking, debauchery, etc. And that's fine. It has never been my cup of tea, but locals and tourists love it. It is a huge economical boost for the city. HOWEVER, there are thousands of people - local people - the people that live here, work here, play here, build homes here, have children here - thousands of them can't come home. They CAN'T. The city council does not know their asses from holes in the ground. The city can still not tell people if they have to build their homes on higher ground. Insurance companies are playing money games with good solid citizens who paid their premiums for 5, 10, 20, 30 YEARS. Levies are still being debated in Washington. New Orleans is NOT a priority. Nor is any part of the Gulf Coast. I can only hope that those people in MS and AL have political and social leaders that are caring for them better than New Orleans does. They have played them promoting Mardi Gras as the city needing tourist revenue and I do not dispute that. However, it costs the city to put on Mardi Gras and do not believe for one instant any report you hear that denies that. Who pays for the extra police, fire, EMS services, etc? Yeah, HI. They are taxing these departments that are already at their breaking points due to being understaffed. There are layoffs all over the city. People died, are still suffering, are continuing to go through the remains of their lives, trying to build new ones, and the fucking city is worried about parades? Way to have some priorities. Typical New Orleans bullshit. I would move from here in a fucking HEART. BEAT.

Things with the MIL have not calmed at all. She had my own nieces ambush me online the other day. I signed on and saw one of my nieces on and rather than putting my away message on so I could work, I just left it be and went on with working. One of the nieces spoke to me and I did mention that I was working. Then the other niece signed on and I mentioned to her that I was working. Now since the MIL knew I was home, she called the house. I had my mother answer the phone and inform her I was working. She said she wanted to ask me something and my mom offered to take a message but she insisted on talking to me. So fine, Mom said I would call her back. I call the husband at work to tell him about the ambush and he tells me that his cell phone was just ringing. He checks, sure enough, MIL. She leaves voice mail. Turns out that she was just calling about money. Long story there. But why make my nieces part of your evil plan to paint me into a corner. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to be a part of your life. You make me ill, so move ON.

I gotta go to bed. I am tired and irritable and PMSy. I realized today that the PMS came a tad early this month when I was driving home from the fire station bring the hubs din din and I almost pulled into Walgreens in order to fill my trunk with as many Reese cups as would fit. I kept driving though. Ate a huge salad with grilled chicken and then took a long walk with the Pooper. I make myself sick. I shoulda just eaten the damn cups.

Elizabeth at 10:06 PM


Sunday, February 26, 2006

Then why do I not make more money?

Liz --


A lewd street performer

'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Elizabeth at 3:09 PM


Friday, February 24, 2006

Finally.............the update

OK, so let's start at the beginning. Wednesday night I am sitting here not working when I should have been and the husband calls. "Can you take a ride down to Lafitte with me?" He was at work on duty. I thought it a tad strange, but said fine. I just kinda figured that maybe his dad was not doing so hot. He got here and off we went. Turns out that Mr. V had taken a turn for the worse and had pretty much been unable to communicate short of wiggling eyebrows and grunting. The MIL was under the impression that he wanted to communicate something to someone so she called various sisters and family members to the family in order to figure out what he wanted. I spoke to her earlier that day about pre-arrangements for the funeral and SHE NEVER SAID A FUCKING WORD. Nor did she call my husband. So we go down and the whole damn fam was there. I had no idea that a FEMA trailer could hold that many people. Suffice it to say that I am thankful that we got down there, were able to tell him the things we wanted him to know, were able to give him comfort and love when he needed it most. The husband asked him if he was ready to go see the husband's mama and Jen, his sister, and he did the eyebrow thing. His little body was just tired, y'all. He got last rights that evening and we finally said good bye about 1ish in the morning. The husband took the next day off and we did the pre-arrangements that morning. After arranging what flowers were to be ordered and all the arrangements for the services, we were famished. We stopped for a quick bite before heading back down to see Mr. V. We got the call in the middle of lunch. My first thought was "Why did we not go directly down there?" But you know what, we got to tell him all that we wanted him to know the night before and while I wish we had been there, it comforts me that two of his sisters were there with him - in addition to MIL. The next day, Friday, we went and did the final arrangements and got everything in order. After running around Thursday and most of Friday, we were beyond worn. The wake was Sunday evening. It was pretty damn awful. The one bright light was that Mr. V looked really good. I have been to funerals where the person is like orange or an ashy color, but not him. Cutie patootie right up til the end. The husband did incredibly well. He is not one to be the "silent, I will not cry type." He lets go which I am glad for. You have to let that stuff out, ya know? The extended family was incredibly comforting and I am also thankful that during this horrible time, I got to know them even better. First instance of MIL acting an ass. I could see the irritation on her face that the aunts (in the past I referred to them as the hens - because they are totally mother hens) made all over the husband. They were concerned about him. They wanted to comfort him. I'm sorry - why is that WRONG? The man lost his mother 13 years ago, his sister 8 months ago, and now his father. I think he is entitled to a few God damn hugs. Apparently MIL thought this was supposed to be her time - we should all be bowing down before the martyr who actually "took care of" her sick husband. (Some of y'all know why that particular phrase is in quotes.) However, she was visibly annoyed. What the fuck ever. Cut to the next morning. Viewing started for 8. Mass was at 11 with graveside service immediately following. Got there for 8. No MIL. Mmmmkay. She is running a tad late. 8:30 - no MIL. She finally strolled in at 8:45. People had been coming in, asking for her, wanting to extend their well wishes, etc. What on earth was I supposed to say? NICE. Situation #2 where she acts an ass. The funeral director walks up to me and tells me that at about 10:30 or so, he will come and find either me, my husband, or the both of us to go over some final details before the mass. Great, thanks dude. She is mad. She calls me over "What did he want?" I told her. Now she is mad because SHE is his wife, SHE should be the one he is talking to. Um, hold on a fucking minute. The man dealt exclusively with my husband and me. Had she had the forethought or, brace yourself, MANNERS to walk into the funeral director's office and say "Hi, I am Mrs. _______, you have dealt with my step-son, if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask." Or whatever. Now before you get all crazy that the woman was in mourning and probably was not thinking clearly, back up, ok? If she was truly that busted up, why would she give one flying fuck who the funeral director spoke to? Right. Exactly. Now let's move on.
In making the arrangements, we had to choose a casket. Well, that was a barrel of laughs. We initially picked this really beautiful one that had a Last Supper emblem on the side and then again in the inside of the lid. However, when we went back to make the final arrangements, the husband reconsidered and decided on a different casket because this one had detachable angels (or your decoration of choice) on each of the corners that could be taken off and kept as a momento for the fam. He decided he wanted that. No problemo. We told Her Happiness who, believe it or not, did not care. I think the fact that it was the same price may have had something to do with that. But I digress. Once again, who had the funeral director dealt with up to this point? That's right, boys and girls - US. We had made our wishes known about keeping the angels on the casket so the FD removed them, bagged them up along with the sign in book, the memorial cards, and some other small things like the crucifix and rosary from the casket and handed them to us when we got to the grave site. No biggie. We get to where they will inter Mr. V. There are only a couple seats - it's mostly standing only. MIL sits down and the husband goes to sit in one of the others. He is literally sitting at the HEAD OF HIS FATHER'S COFFIN. Crying. Did I mention that he was crying and saying "Oh, Daddy"? HAVE I MENTIONED THAT HE IS NOW THE ONLY MEMBER LEFT OF HIS IMMEDIATE FAMILY? Did I bring up the crying? MIL chooses right that very second - my husband's ass had barely hit the chair - to say "I need my angels." I NEED MY ANGELS? Are you fucking kidding me with this shit? He barely acknowledged her at that point. So she said it AGAIN. At this point, I was standing behind the husband trying to somehow comfort him and I was stunned to the point of being speechless. Is this woman seriously going to sit here and worry about some mother fucking angels when her dead husband is a foot and a half away from her about to put into the wall of the mausoleum? Oh yes, ladies and gents, she sure was. The service was mercifully short and the husband and I were sort of gathering ourselves to go home. She brought up the angels again. One of the aunts bought a big beautiful plant rather than flowers for the service and told us she would like us to take it home. Very sweet I thought. The husband was taking the plant to the truck and was going to get the MIL's crap. He gave her the other 3 angels and whatever else was in the bags. He did take out the crucifix and rosary. Now, I do not profess to know much about Catholocism but I do know that my husband's entire family was raised Catholic. That crucifix and rosary did not mean diddly shit to her. My husband, while not a practicing Cath, had an attachment to it - aside from it being with his father in the casket. We were home a cool 15 minutes. Rrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnngggggggggg. Let me sum up the conversation.
MIL - Where are the rosary and crucifix?
H - I have them.
MIL - Well, I want them.
H - Well, I wanted them and they are here.
MIL - I wanted them.
H - (Had to take the phone away from his ear for a moment to gather himself.) Fine, they are here at the house. You can come pick them up at any point.
SLAM down the phone.
To say that the husband was shocked and pissed is really understating things. He was just so fucking mad that she did that - on top of the other shit she has pulled. This was not a woman in mourning. This was a woman planning the rest of her life. Now perhaps I am not giving her the benefit of the doubt. I don't know what it is like to lose a husband. Maybe people react in different ways. But I know her. This is just her. Cold. Heartless. Gimme gimme gimme. I want mine. Like a fucking child.
I am not sure how the husband feels about all of this but I am DONE. Done with a capital D. Done like a burned steak. I do not give one flying fuck if I ever see her again. She is a thoughtless, selfish, nasty bitch of a woman and frankly I am thankful to be rid of her. I put up with her shit in order to have a relationship with my FIL. I would not change my actions in the past for anything. I am a much better person for knowing him. I have a lot of wonderful memories of what a goofy ass he was. That is well worth dealing with her ass. However, I do not have to do that anymore.

Post funeral - The husband and I took the Pooper to the beach. We had resisted driving that far because we did not want to be that far from FIL in case something happened. We both needed to get away and enjoy a day of relaxing and stupidity in the form of a psychotic dog. I forgot my camera unfortunately but he had a fabulous, incredibly sandy time. The back of my car can attest to that.

The husband is doing remarkably well all things considered. I'm sure when FIL's birthday comes next month, it will all hit him again. He just went back to work yesterday so at least we were able to spend some time together before the grind started back up again. Thanks to all of you for your prayers, thoughts and wonderful comments. We are doing ok. FIL is much better off. I just keep telling myself that even though I am selfish and would rather he be here.

Elizabeth at 8:09 PM


Book 6 - Hit Reply by Rocki St. Claire and Book 7 - Gone by Lisa Gardner

Being that things were a tad nutso around here, I am sorta behind in my book posting. Hit Reply was a fantastic book that I read in less than one day. Y'all know I love the chick lit books that are sorta mindless and don't require any sort of deep thought. After dealing with death and fuckheads for family late last week, I truly needed a break. This book was perfect. Being that I am addicted to my computer and would prefer to communicate via email than any other way, this book was for me. It was a series of emails and IM sessions between these various characters in this book - some friends, some lovers (or almost lovers), some couples, some family members. I highly recommend.
Gone was not all that I thought it would be. I have read all of Lisa Gardner's other books and loved them. Her books are usually big time page turners, but I just had a hard time really getting into this one. The story was good but something failed to grab me the way I am used to. For those of you that like thrillers, I would say give it a whirl, but if you can't get psyched up by page 100, save your time.

Scroll down for my SPF!!!

PS - the update and the story about what a bitch my MIL is shall come later. I so have to get some work done.

Elizabeth at 1:17 PM


Stuff Portrait Friday - Bedside Manner

Kristine, over at her new site, still managed to give us our assignment for the week. We are to show:

Inside our nightstand drawer
A good book we have read
Our favorite lamp

So here goes:

Yeah, these are my chonies. I have nothing special. I am not a fan of the thong. I spend the bulk of my day digging my drawers OUT of my ass - why on earth would I put them there voluntarily? Please note the cups on that pink bra. Um, yeah. Do you see why I am happy about the boobage shrinkage? Are ya feeling my pain yet?

Technically I am still reading this book but just about anything by this dude rocks the Casbah. I am really drawn to this particular series - called the Women's Murder Series. Of course Alex Cross books are the best thing since sliced bread, but these are a close second. Even my husband likes them.

It's a tie. I could not decide which lamp I liked better. We just got this one when we moved in the house. I needed a lamp near the desk for working and I found this in Target, believe it or not. Very well priced and I thought it was cute as hell. I am so not above buying shit like that in Target.

This lamp was a gift from the husband. I had wanted a floor model of a Tiffany style lamp for a while, but of course, being the pain in the ass that I am, I did not want the sort of glass that went upwards so that the top was open. I had to have this kind which is a bitch and a half to find and slightly more expensive. I still love this lamp though. I think it is truly beeeeyoooootiful.


Elizabeth at 9:37 AM


Thursday, February 23, 2006

Quick update

Thanks for all the nice thoughts and comments. It's a pretty sucky time, but we are doing well all things considered. The husband is really handling this all very well. It did hit him that after losing his mom 13 years ago, his sister last June and now his Dad, he is all that's left. That has to be a shitty ass feeling. Of course he has extended family and me but still, even I know that's that the same thing.

The MIL did not disappoint and showed her ass and acted like a total bitch ass ho AT. THE. FUNERAL. No, I shit you not. That is another tale for another time though. I have limited time right now what with trying to catch up on work.

I do plan on giving a full update tomorrow and plan on playing SPF. By the by, if you have not moseyed on by Kristine (the queen of SPF) recently, go check a sistah out. She has new digs. She blew this pop stand known as Blogger. Can't say as I blame her.

Might get more into the details of the last few days later but will be by tomorrow for sure. Thanks again for all the wonderful thoughts. Y'all are the bestest. If I have gotten anything out of this sucky ass week it is that I have continued to lose weight. I am down a cool 14 pounds. Stress will do that to ya. I have a feeling that once I get my appetite back (which is coming back pretty damn quick) that extra 2 lbs might saddle on back to my ass. Speaking of which, me and the Pooper better get out there and walk before it rains. It is gray as shit here today. Gray as shit? Is shit gray? I guess only when it sits for like EVER. So thanks and I'll catch you bitches tomorrow with my stellar SPF pics. LOL. As if.


Elizabeth at 9:08 AM


Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I'm here

Not much to say right now and not a lot of time to spare. I'll update later. Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers.

Elizabeth at 8:26 PM


Friday, February 17, 2006


Mr. Vincent, my FIL, passed away yesterday at about 3:30 in the afternoon. Please say prayers for my husband and the fam.

Elizabeth at 4:05 PM


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

This, that, and the other

I have not been posting much lately because it seriously seems like the minutes of the day get sucked away from me and before I know it, it's bed time. Really, I have been busting my ass working and shit, and I feel truly guilty if I just sit and read blogs and don't get more work done. This last weekend we got roped into going to Lowe's (ON A SATURDAY)to buy all the ceiling fans for my FIL's house. I would have almost rather had my hair ripped out by the root. Friday night was very low key. The husband worked all day and then he brought home pizza and we watched "The Fog." I can't even begin to describe how awful that movie was. Never saw the original so I have nothing to compare it to. Anyways, Saturday. Did the fans and honestly I have no clue what the hell else we did. I probably worked. Sunday the husband was at work, so I yet again worked. Valentine's Day was nice. The husband was off all day so since we had the option of not dealing with crowds of cutsie couples all evening making schmoopey eyes at each other, we went out during the day. Just had a quick lunch and then off to see a flick - Final Destination 3. Before you judge me, I love horror movies. I will pretty much go see anything of that genre. I know that in keeping with the spirit of the day, we should have seen some sort of Julia Roberts/Meg Ryan/Sandra Bullock/Reese Witherspoon sort of chick flick romantic comedy but frankly I'd rather have the shit scared straight out of me. FD3 was not a total waste of time but really the idea for the flick was only original the first time, ya know?
Currently I am sitting here watching Garden State with Zach Braff and Natalie Portman. She is so damn pretty. Not fair. I saw a picture of her shaved almost bald for some movie and she STILL looked good. What IS that? For whatever reason, Netflix has had to send me the movie, De-Lovely twice and yet it has still not arrived. Perhaps I am not meant to see that movie.
Today was an odd day. I have no motivation to work and for whatever reason, I can't sign on to where I need to go on the desktop computer. I checked on this computer and it's fine. That concerns me because I have so much shit on that computer and if we need to restore it back to nothing, I will shit twice and die. The weird thing is that every other website is working fine. No problem. I thought perhaps it was a problem with that site, but I would not be able to sign on from here right? Fuck, I don't know. Whatever. Gives me an excuse to relax for a night.
The whole weight loss thing is going ok. I am down somewhere between 11 and 12 pounds. I am happy with that and technically for going for six weeks, I imagine I am on track, but I am not a patient girl and want the quick fix which we all know don't work long term or are dangerous. Who wants that? I just want to be healthy. A nice 20 lb drop for no good reason would not be a bad thing though. I'd take it.

OK, Natalie Portman is beginning to annoy me in this movie.

My biggest accomplishment aside from doing all the laundry today was to wash and put away all the Valentine's day stuff (vases, placemats, dish towels, etc) and busted out the spring/Easter stuff. I know. Shut UP. This is what I have become.

Elizabeth at 8:42 PM


IT problem - HELP

I can't log into a site that I do work in. My log in name and password are correct. I get to a page that says that the problem might be with my browser. HELP!!! What to do???

I downloaded Firefox because everyone raves about it and the site would not open under that either. I am freaking the FUCK out.

Elizabeth at 6:50 PM


The reason I can't get any work done

The priss refuses to move. And, heaven fucking forbid, I move her.

Elizabeth at 1:35 PM


Monday, February 13, 2006

Just when you thought he could not get any more gay....

Elizabeth at 3:48 PM


Sunday, February 12, 2006

Meme stolen from Spilled Milk blog

1) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
The nearest book to me is a medical dictionary but it's on the desk and I am not getting up. Sorry.

2) Stretch your left arm out as far as you can and see what you touch. I can touch the dog toy that looks like a pair of lips.

3) What is the last thing you watched on TV? Desperate Housewives - the very best show on tv - bar none.

4) Without looking, guess what time it is. 9:00ish

5) Now look at the clock. What is the actual time? 8:57 PM

6) With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? The tv and the heat just clicked on - thank God.

7) When did you last step outside? What were you doing? The dog and I went on our nightly walk.

8) Before you started this survey, what did you look at? I read Kitty's blog. She is a pretty funny girl. :)

9) What are you wearing? I have on dark blue sweat pants, a striped tshirt, the requisite underwear and warm socks. And my wedding ring. And a hair tie thingy.

10) Did you dream last night? No clue.

11) When did you last laugh? Earlier when the dog jumped clear over the table when he was in the middle of one of his fits.

12) What is on the walls of the room you are in? The most recent school pictures of the kids, my giant wrought iron mirror, various pictures and candle holder deals that I am addicted to, an autographed Mario Lemieux picture, pictures of various pets in my world, and a hand drawn picture of Tiger Stadium (LSU) that I got for the husband. It's a big room, ok?

13) Seen anything weird lately? Not that I recall.

14) What do you think of this quiz? These are perfect for when you are not sure what to say or how to say it in a post

15) What is the last film you saw? At the movies, that would be "The Family Stone" but we watched "The Fog" on Friday night - Netflix.

16) If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy? I would pay off whomever I had to in order to get my FIL's house completed before he dies.

17) Tell me something about you that I don't know. My feelings are very easily hurt.

18) If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do? I would erase all the judgment Americans about other parts of the world. We quite possibly do NOT know everything nor should we tell them how to run their countries.

19) Do you like to dance? Depends on the amount of alcohol consumed.

20) George Bush - quite possibly the most arrogant man on earth

21) Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her? Her name will be Emma.

22) Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? His name will be Jake.

23) Would you ever consider living abroad? Absolutely - in a moment.

24) What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? Well, you did not make the right decisons on many occasions but you did the best you could with what information you had. Good job. Then he would high five me.

Elizabeth at 9:58 PM


Prayers are needed

Please go over to Torrie's blog at www.iprettymuchhateeverything.com and wish her well. She and the husband are going through something that no one EVER should have to deal with. Even if you have never read her before (in which case, shame on you because she is funny as POOP), please go say hi and extend her well wishes. It is the very least any of us could do.

Elizabeth at 8:49 PM


Thursday, February 09, 2006

Stuff Portrait Friday - Let's Talk About Love

Kami over at the DallasKs is substituting for our normal SPF teacher, Kristine. As per her instructions, we are to show you the following:

Something we love about our house
Something we hate about our house
Something we love about ourselves

I am nothing if not obedient. Shut up. So here goes.

This is what I love about my house - THAT IT IS, INDEED, MINE. I know this is my address and I might get a stalker but WHATEVER. The point is that the husband and I had a lot of hard, financially difficult years. We truly thought that home ownership was years down the road. We made it happen last July. I love this house. I love that we did not have to settle for a "starter" home. I am comfortable here. I am proud to have my own little piece of land in this world. I do not like very few things in this home - which brings me to.....

This is what I like least. The only door out of my house that goes to the backyard is in my bedroom. What contracting genius thought this up needs to be punched in the nuts. We plan to cut a hole in the garage wall and put a door out through there but for now, this is it. Stupid ass architect.

What I love most about me. This is a photo of me and the husband. It is my favorite picture of us. I don't love how I look in this photo. I don't even recall this evening as being one of my favorites. I am not perfect by any stretch. However, as my husband says, I am perfect for him. I think I am a good wife. Thus far, this has been my toughest job and I love the fact that I try every day to do it well. I'm sure motherhood will make this look like a fucking cake walk, but for now, the thing I love most about me is that I try very hard to be the person he thinks I am.

So, there you have it. Let me know if you played!!!!!

PS - And no, I could not possibly be whiter in that picture if I tried. Good GOD.

Elizabeth at 11:09 PM


Still on my mind

I watched Oprah again today (SHUT. UP.) because Christopher Darden was on for the first half hour. For those of you who had your head up your ass ten years ago, Christopher Darden was the Assistant District Attorney that ended up being assigned to a case that would change his life forever - the OJ Simpson trial. I grew up in Los Angeles. I don't go into that much because it was long ago and frankly I don't think of LA as my hometown. Let's retrace the steps, shall we?
I was back at my Dad's house on vacation with my boyfriend at the time, Joe. The murders had happened already and OJ was already a "person of interest." His prior assaults on his wife, Nicole, were well documented. I was driving with Joe back to my father's house and I noticed on the opposite side of the freeway that they were holding traffic back at all the on ramps. I thought it a tad weird, but frankly just let it go. It was LA, after all. Who the hell knew? I got home to find my father cursing at the tv - not because of what was unfolding on the screen before a national audience, but because the news media had the fucking audacity to interupt the NBA finals and the Nix were playing. Way to keep those priorities intact, Pop. Anyways, as we all know, OJ was in the now infamous Bronco in the slowest car speed chase in history. We were riveted - even with all the paternal cursing. I thought,
"Well, that's it, he did it and now we all know." How incredibly naive of me.
Well, we all know what happened - one of the worst travesties of justice in the last 50 years. Seeing Christopher Darden again brought it all back for me. It clearly has never left him. He is still so clearly affected by what this all brought him, took from him, and how this trial and verdict changed his life. He was called an "Uncle Tom", was ostracized from the black community, and villified in the legal community. I never understood the rationale of that jury. Did they think they were righting some legal wrong from years ago? From the lynchings? From slavery? WHAT? I did not understand. Mr. Darden discussed that today - the way he did not understand their view point either and that if they were trying to correct some horrible crime from years ago, they obviously picked a horrible symbol to use. OJ Simpson was no more a symbol of racial inequality than I am. The man has lived a very privledged life - and continues to do so. I am not saying that he has never been subjected to prejudice in his life - I'm quite certain he has, but to raise him up on to some pedastal as a martyr is a joke, people. He was allowed to murder the mother of his children and a man who simply was in the wrong place at the wrong time. That brings us to his kids. How on EARTH are they supposed to reconcile what they see with what they hear as far as their father is concerned? How can they look at him and not think of their mother? How can they not doubt him? These kids must be somewhere near college age now. I am certain they have taken it upon themselves to learn as much as they can about their mother and her demise. What if they discover what we already know? How will that affect them?
There are some events that forever change your beliefs in yourself and your world. In 1995, I was a senior in college and still maintained an incredibly idealistic view of the world. This verdict crippled my faith. The same way the police officers who beat Rodney King forever tainted my view of police officers everywhere. I remember this time as being the beginning of the end of my rose colored glasses life. It was the end of me always assuming that people would do the right thing if given a choice. It was the beginning of creating the person that I am today - somewhat cynical, somewhat jaded, clumsily grasping on what hopes I have for this world. I miss the girl I was then. She had way more optimism than I currently have. The ripple effect of that one day is staggering.

Elizabeth at 7:45 PM


Without further ado.....

Taken last night. I got too close to her highness's face and she felt the need to squint. What a damn priss.

I have shown this before but I love this picture. He is just so damn docile here. It does not happen often.

Elizabeth at 12:57 PM


Busy but here

I did not eat the computer. Go me. I did however eat quite the helping of spaghetti and meatballs last night. I never did my own meatballs before but they seemed to turn out ok. How hard can it be right? My husband especially liked it when I said "Come eat my balllllllllllllls, people." We are such a lovely addition to the neighborhood.
I am very proud of the husband. He finished like 90% of his to do list. My grass is cut, the siding that he ripped off the house is replaced, and my new dealio I got from Kohls is up. He replaced the outlet that we thought was bad but it turns out that it was fine, but whatever. Today he had to go to court on behalf of his dad about the land thingy from a while back. I am not sure what they had to go in front of a judge for, but whatever. Since FIL is not in a "let's go to court" kind of way the judge allowed my husband to go on his behalf. I should fucking hope so. I just got back from a walk with the Pooper who, for whatever reason, is right up my ass today. Wanted nothing to do with Daddy this morning - it was all Mama, all the time. I woke up in the middle of the night and he had scooted his ass up to be right in between us and was RIGHTUPAGAINSTME. The only thing I could figure is he was chilly and I kept him warm. I am good for that.
Today is more work, a trip to Mecca for some misc stuff and clean the house. I wish I had brought my cam with me on the walk this morning because on one of the streets I walk down, they are doing the "let's put the furniture out at the curb" thing. I hate that. I do know that the house was empty since the hurricane and when I pass by at night, there are two guys in there working away on whatever, but (a) the furniture is fugly and (b) it does not belong at the curb, for God's sake. Borrow a truck and take that shit to the dump. Y'all gotta see this shit, too. It's like that really bad 1970's brown plaid deal. NICE. I'd be chapped if I lived across from them and had to look at that shit.
I am trying to post a pic of the Pooper and Her Highness but fucking Blogger is being a bitch. Does it not know that I am hormonally challenged right now?

Elizabeth at 9:38 AM


Wednesday, February 08, 2006

So that explains it....

I have been a one woman eating machine all day. Just grazing - going from one food to another. I just realized I am in the throes of major PMS. At least it makes sense now. However, I will probably eat this computer before the day is up. I wonder how it would taste with Hershey syrup on it?

Elizabeth at 5:48 PM


Work is such fun

I don't have much to add to the blog world today because I am behind in my work and need to get on the ball. The husband is home the next two days and in addition to doing work, we will be doing extensive yard work. My grass needs cut in the worst way and from the fences being blown down in the back, some of the small trees and bushes that were in back got all smashed down and need some help if they are to survive at all. Plus I need to do some weeding.

My original intent had been to participate in Way Back Wednesday (go to The Kept Woman's blog to check that out) but with all that is going on, I doubt I can do it.

PS - on the whole family lying to us thing. It has been confirmed that the person in question has, indeed, been lying their ass off and doing much much worse. Truth be told, there is not much we can do right now as it is too late, but this bitch is gonna get hers. That's all I'm saying. Maybe I'll go into the whole story one day. Bitch.

Elizabeth at 10:18 AM


Monday, February 06, 2006

It's been an interesting day

Today has been eye-opening in a couple ways. First, I got a call this morning that made me laugh. Apparently the girl that took over my office at the law firm where I used to work had happened upon my blog. Unfortunately I did not get to know this girl, who I shall call L (to maintain her anonymity), very well. She worked for the firm when I first started but left before I ever made the transition to paralegal. She came back a while before the hurricane to do work on a contract basis. Anyhow, I guess my post about sitemeters freaked the poor darlin out and thought I was directing my post towards her. Like "I see you." LOLOLOL. I did know someone from the firm was reading it but I was not sure who exactly. It was very sweet of her to call and she complimented my writing of all things. How sweet since I absolutely have no delusions of being skillful in that arena. I just write the way I speak which more often than not is not grammatically correct and loaded with F bombs. Anyways, welcome L - I am glad you enjoy my retarded sense of humor. :)

This afternoon I was taking a break from work and was folding some laundry. I heard the doorbell and figured it was the UPS guy bringing my thing I bought from Kohl's. (They are having a massive sale - just an FYI for ya.) I came up front and it was Aunt Regina - my husband's aunt. His favorite aunt if that makes a diff. She is one of the aforementioned hens. Gotta love her. Anyways, she was visibly upset and seemed just incredibly conflicted. She finally sat down and told me why she was here. The husband was not here so she ended up just spilling her guts to me. I am not going to go into details of family business, but suffice it to say that several of the things the husband and I suspected about someone are very true and worse. We found out that we had been lied to on several occasions and led to believe other things. Frankly, it all just sucks. Aunt Regina really struggled with herself as to whether or not to even come talk to us because she did not want to upset the husband, but I am glad she did. We talked for a couple hours about the whole situation and we managed to enlighten each other and fill in blanks for each other about some details each of us were not privy to. The whole situation sucks giant donkey dick but I would rather be in a position of knowing the enemy in its entirety rather than THINK I know. In short, Aunt Regina absolutely did the right thing in telling us because we are now in a better position to try to curtail the lying that is being thrown our way. It's ugly, people. Just downright UGLY.

Well, I am off to finish work and cook din din. It's ugly and rainy here and makes me want to nap. I am so fighting off the urge. :)

Elizabeth at 5:16 PM



I am still tired. I had two Rolling Rocks (brewed and bottled in Latrobe, PA doncha know) and one very weak Strawberry Margarita and I feel like I got ran over. Ain't that some shit? This ole dog - she ain't what she used to be.

HOWEVER, my boys pulled it out. I gotta say that was one of the most pathetic Superbowls I have seen in my life. I don't like games that are all defense. Thankfully even though the Seahawks seemed to move the ball better than the Steelers in the first half, they could not score. I was truly curious to see who they would award MVP to because no one had a stand out performance. They all played mediocre at best, ya know? That was really the only thing that sorta dampened it for me. I am beyond happy that they won and that the Bus got his ring. I knew that he would retire after this year but I am really going to miss watching him. He is such a leader and does not seem to be affected by his fame and stature in the NFL. I love that about him. I'm sure he's ready to be done. Ten years with the Steelers and 3 years (I think) with St. Louis - getting knocked down, pulled down, ran over, stomped on, etc. That would work on anyone after a while. And I'm not sure if you noticed but he is having problems keeping the weight at bay. He was never a slim and trim athlete but that 3 and that 6 are stretching a LITTLE farther away from each other every year. He's so cute though. Just love him. I especially love that they showed his mama and daddy crying at the end. I'm sure they are so proud of their boy. :)

Well, I am going to attempt to get some work done today. The satellite dude is coming back to the house today because we have a couple glitches that need to be worked out. Tonight is all about the Bachelor. Tammy, I know you are a fan also - my cousin and I do like a blow by blow (no pun intended) of the show during the commercials. If you get bored and want to rag on these women, I shall be online. Come say hey!

Ibuprofen. I need ibuprofen.

Elizabeth at 10:23 AM


Sunday, February 05, 2006

Sitemeters - a beautiful thing

Hi guys - just so all of you know, there is no such thing as anonymity on the internet. If you think that by not commenting or by not leaving any sort of trail or by commenting anonymously, I don't know where you came from or who is reading this, you are WRONG. I do know. Took me some time and many a tutorial session from a few key people, but I have this sitemeter thing ALL figured out which means that I SEE YOU. I see who comes here and says nothing. But guess what? I don't give a shit. You can do what you wish with the things I say on here. I will never censor myself because I know some of the people I might speak ill of are reading this or that their family members or friends are. I don't give a shit. This is a place for me to vent my frustration. I will say what I want when I want with nary a thought to who I might offend. So for those of you who found this site either by accident or on purpose and know me in real life, say hi in the comments and at least have balls enough to leave a name. Don't be a pussy your entire life.

Enough said.

Elizabeth at 11:50 AM


A knotted stomach

Well, the day has begun and I already feel sick to my stomach. I knew this would happen. My plan was to get up, take the Pooper on a walk, come back and work a little while, make the 7 layer dip and then go over to watch the game. LIKE THIS WAS A NORMAL DAY. Yeah right. I have barely been up 30 minutes. I have obsessively checked every website I know of to see if Polamalu's ankle is better. I have looked at every single photo gallery on Fox Sports, ESPN, MSN, Steelers.com, etc. By the time the game happens, I will be a wreck and probably not in the best of moods. That sounds dumb but until the game starts and see how my boys are doing - i.e. Does Ben have his rhythm today? Is the Bus tired? Is Polamalo going to be able to pull those amazing plays out of his damn hair? Is Ward going to be smiling that huge grin all day? - until then, I will be a wreck. I want them to win so bad that I can taste it. I know Seattle has never won and would love a chance at history. But not this year. They can't have this year. This year belongs to the boys in Da Burgh. This year belongs to the youngest QB ever to WIN a Superbowl. This year belongs to a classy player like the Bus who fights for every single yard normally with one or two tackles hanging off of him while he tries for a first down. This year belong to Cowher - a man who sprays his players with spit when he speaks. It belongs to all of us Steelers fans who never quit believing that they will get to this point. Even when we are disappointed when they lose, we are NEVER lacking in faith. So Seattle can have next year. This year......THIS year belongs to Pittsburgh fans everywhere. Grab your Terrible Towels and swing them loud and proud, people. This is our day.

Elizabeth at 10:14 AM


Friday, February 03, 2006

Oops, I did it again

Damn that Oprah. I was dutifully working and I left the tv on CBS and caught Dave Chappelle on her show. First off, he seemed half in the bag. He slurred his words a couple times and his eyes were glassy. He had to insist MANY times that he was not "crazy" as people had insisted since he did walk away from a rather lucrative contract. He did not come off as crazy to me. He came off as yet another ridiculous, self-involved celebrity that cracked under the pressure. He bitched about the working conditions he was subjected to at Comedy Central even after Oprah pointed out that he had extensive creative control over the show. He bitched about how actors of color are always forced to humiliate themselves by being made to wear dresses in movies. What the fuck ever, dude. I mean seriously. That is your big racist argument for Hollywood? He also commented that any good black man has a healthy dose of paranoia. Good attitude. I know very little of Dave Chappelle other than the few things I have heard from friends about how funny his show is. I seriously doubt that if he chooses to grace Comedy Central with is presence any time in the future that I will be tuning in. He is just another overpaid whiny baby.

Elizabeth at 5:21 PM


Stuff Portrait Friday - Games we play

Kristine gave us the task of showing the games we play. I almost did not play because I am rather busy lately, but I thought about it and decided that surely I could find 30 seconds to get this stuff done. Take one for the team, damn it.

So we have to show:

Our game
Family games
My game

Our game - trying to make one of these little guys. This is my cousin's ultrasound but let's hope in the next year or so, I hope to have one of these of my very own.

Family games - nothing exciting unfortunately. However, I excel at anything Trivia related. I have nothing useful in my head but I can tell you something completely stupid about caves or something. It's lots of fun.

My game. Was there ever any doubt? I will be front and center in front of a tv watching my boys in their first Superbowl in ten years. I am hopeful but I am certainly not discounting the Seahawks. I will undoubtedly have a headache, ulcer and acid reflux by the end of the game. It will not matter if my boys come out to a 21 point lead immediately. I will NOT relax until the clock hits 00:00 and the Lombardi trophy is in Cowher's hands. Then, the shriek that will leave my body will burst the ear drums of many a puppy.

Did you play?

Elizabeth at 11:44 AM


Book 6 - Don't Eat This Book: Fast Food and the Supersizing of America

For those of you that live in a box, in 2003, Morgan Spurlock took it upon himself to eat a diet of McDonald's for 30 days. The rules were that everything he ingested had to be on the McDonald's menu, if they asked him if he wanted to supersize, he would have to and he had to live the typical sedentary lifestyle that most Americans live which is to walk a mere 1.5 mile in the entire day. I saw the movie that documented his month of McHell called "Super Size Me." I won't go into the details of the movie, but suffice it to say that I now seriously rethink my decision to eat at any fast food restaurant.

This book did summarize that experience of his but it also discussed the cattle industry, the new booming diet food/pill industry, the sugar substitute issue, etc. He has some very alarming statistics and stories about the things we are shoving in our face at an alarming rate. As you all know, my husband are having a little weight loss contest. Part of my problem is that I have quite the affinity for fast food. Happily I have made it since the beginning of this year with nary a fast food run. That may not sound like anything amazing to the average person but for me, that's big time. Frankly after reading this book, I am not even craving it. Mr. Spurlock's main point was not to go after McDonald's per se, but what he calls Big Food - those lobbyists in Congress that make sure we are not at all aware of what we are putting into our and our children's faces. He would love us to go back to eating fresh food. He is not a vegan and is the first to admit that he craves a really great cheeseburger on occasion, but he has done enough research to know that perhaps a steady diet of cheeseburgers, chicken nuggets, and french fries is not really the way to go. More and more, I am agreeing with him. I'm not saying I will never eat McDonald's fries again. Chances are I will. However, in reading this book, I am realizing that my elevated energy level this month is not a fluke. I feel great because I have eaten more veggies and fruit in this last month than I probably did for several months before.

Even though this book was chock full of statistics and horror stories, I found that it moved along at a nice pace and was never too scientific for me. I highly recommend it if you are even remotely interested in what is going into your mouth. Final thought on this matter - I find it very telling that no one in Big Food has been able to discredit any of the findings of Mr. Spurlock. All they have been able to do is throw names at him like "Food Nazi." Interesting that they have not chosen to challenge even one single statement in this whole book. That leads me to believe he was, at the very least, on the right track.

Elizabeth at 10:30 AM


Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Book #5 - The Next Big Thing

After reading the very intense A Million Little Pieces, I had to add something in the mix that was light. I was at Target yesterday (my first trip to Mecca since coming home on New Year's Day - I almost hugged the big Target sign) and saw this book. I read the back and laughed out loud because it was hilarious.

Basically, this young girl, Kat, is conducting an online love affair with a Britsh man who thinks she is a size 4 when really she is a size 18. She decides, since he is beginning to pressure her into meeting, that her last chance to "start her life" was to go on a reality tv show called "From Fat to Fabulous." There are, of course, a series of twists and turns and things go horribly awry but it was a good read. Very entertaining and I stayed up entirely too late last night reading it. I finished it in just over a day so that should tell you that it went quickly. I highly recommend if you are looking for something that does not take huge brain power but will keep you interested.

Elizabeth at 5:57 PM