Thursday, January 18, 2007

The Hormone roller coaster of an emotional neurotic

It's been a relatively ho hum week with not much to report. As you all know, I have no life so unless I sit here and go into great detail of the horror that is American Idol, there ain't much to say. I don't guess we are doing SPF this week, so that's one thing to cross off my incredibly short list.

Last night I did have my class up at church though. It was on marriage and what the church views marriage as and what its importance is. Now y'all know that I had many reservations about starting this whole RCIA process months ago and until now, I have been pleasantly surprised at the lack of judgment I have encountered.

Yeah, until last night.

Duuuuuuude, what the fuck? I was hardly surprised when they made a big stink about a marriage being between one man and one woman because you would pretty much have to be clueless to not know that most religions feel that way. I happen to disagree, but que sera, sera. I did not get my big granny panties in a wad until we watched the video. We watch these videos of this man whose very voice makes my teeth hurt. He launches into the marriage debate going through the whys and wherefores of everything we had pretty much covered. However, he used the following illustration of why exactly it (it being marriage) needed to be between one man and one woman. I am using quote marks here but this is not a direct word for word summation. However, the very last part is verbatim.

"Well, you see, men and women are physiologically different. Now, I am probably going to get in trouble with some of the feminists here (insert self deprecating chuckle here) but that is just the way it is. We need each other to counterbalance parts of ourselves. We make each other whole. I mean, imagine a world of all men. It would be barbaric with very little feeling or emotion behind any of the decisions being made. And women need men because without them to counterbalance their delicate constitutions, they would all be emotional neurotics."

Blink.

Blink blink.

Dude, really? You seriously said that? Before I could even control my outward reaction, I literally laughed so hard that I snorted. I'm sure the hubs was horrified that his feminazi wife just snorted at a priest whether he was on video tape or not. But I did. And I would again.

Emotional neurotic, padre? Oh, you have NO idea.

However, until you (a) can touch boobies, (b) can do the hibbidy bibbidy to the body attached to said boobies, (c) entertain the notion of marrying the body with the boobies, and finally (d) leave this earth with your face buried between those same boobies, do NOT talk to me about the physiology of a woman. You don't live with us. You can never understand the inner workings of the female mind. Hell, my hubs does live with one of those aforementioned emotional neurotics and HE does not have a damn clue. I give mad props for those men who do enter the priesthood because to do so is a sacrifice that I could never begin to understand. However, know your place. You are NOT a psychologist. You are not even a marriage counselor, dude. I realize that the church recommends and even requires, I believe, marriage counselling given by a priest and I call bullshit on that one. That would be like me giving advice on how to be a size 2 or how to not go ape shit in traffic.

I won't even go into the part where Fr. New Guy said that in the midst of premarital counselling, if the couple indicated that they would exclude children as part of their family throughout the course of their marriage, that would raise a "serious red flag." Yeah, that is another story for another time. The hole in my tongue from me biting down like an epileptic mid-seizure is a big one, my friends.

All of that being said, I am not so discouraged that I will stop going. I am totally okay with disagreeing with church doctrine and even with my own parish priest. This is a journey for me - I get that. I am just trying to find my own voice in all of this. Maybe I will be good for these people. I seemed to be the only one who was a little put off from the marriage chat. Maybe I can make someone see that gay people are not all freaks who "chose their deviant lifestyle." Maybe someone will agree that the choice of having or not having children is a distinctly personal one made between a husband and wife with the church staying the fuck out of it. Or maybe one day in class I will snort too loudly and they will try to exorcise out my demons.

Good luck on that one, I say. Those bitches run deep.

Labels: RCIA, Update

Elizabeth at 8:33 PM

18comments

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Nabisco should rule the world

I feel like ass. Friggin planes and their germy after effects. I keep talking to hear myself because it sounds like an echo in my head and that's big fun. Can you say clogged ears? Makes doing my job a CINCH.

I am blowing off class tonight and even now, 13 weeks in, the Catholic guilt is getting me. Pathetic. Being that I am not yet Catholic, what does that make me? Catholicesque? Catholiclike? MiniCatholic?

The only thing making me feel better is Cheez-Its. However, they make me thirsty and I am out of water and I don't wanna get up. Therefore, my tongue feels like hairy and dry and gross.

Good news is that we got the Pooper's picture on our Xmas cards. Son of a BITCH if he is not the cutest damn thing ever. You all may think you have cute pets but unless he/she even bears the slightest resemblence to the King of all Poopers, then you would be so very wrong. I shall send them to whomever trusts me not to stalk them in emailing me your address. If not, I will most likely scan the bad boy and put his Santa cloaked ass right here on the net. Currently he is sitting just to the right of me staring at me because he has dog senses and he KNOWS that there is one Cheez-It left in this bowl.

Should I give it to him?

Labels: Gage, Health, RCIA