Post-Fat Ass Update

Jesus God, I am still full and tired. For those of you who have done the whole "let's have every damn soul to my home for Thanksgiving" and then cooked for the ungrateful little bastards, my hat is off to you. I just had no earthly idea what all that entailed. My menu was far from complicated: chicken and sausage gumbo, fried turkey, roasted potatoes, peas, corn, rolls and for desert, apple pie and pumpkin pie. I also did a spinach and artichoke dip for nibbling while waiting for grub. I mean the turkey part was not even my job. The husband fries the 3 turkeys we had. So why am I so damn tired? Who the fuck knows? I just don't know how women do this shit. Oh, we had stuffing too. Forgot that part.

I have no pictures with which to participate in Stuffed Portrait Friday because in the melee that was my day, it never once occurred to me to take pictures of the chaos. I had a total of 15 people invited over. 17 showed. I fucking freaked. My step-sister-in-law brought her friend and I about shit. Then the step daughter brought her boyfriend and I once again about shit. We had more than enough food but we had the tables already filled to the gills and stuffing two more bodies in there made me nervous. Let me begin at the beginning. I cooked and baked literally all day Wednesday. The only room I cleaned was the kitchen. I got up at 6 Thursday and went back to the cleaning before putting on the gumbo. Everything was going well. Our friends showed up first with their three children. Still - no problems. Husband's brother-in-law came on over. Still, all is well. Then FIL and MIL came over. As previously posted ad nauseum, I have had issues with my MIL. I have not mentioned it but the FIL is not doing well physically - mainly due to his own stubbornness. It was iffy to expect them at all, but they showed. She came in slippers. SLIPPERS, people. What the fuck is that? I mean, I was by no means dressed up and probably had flour coating my shirt but I did manage to put a bra and shoes on. For the love of GOD. Then they don't eat. Um, ok. I knew FIL could not eat because the pain he is currently experiencing is making him nauseous. No biggie. However, MIL who made such a giant fuss over the fried turkey and how she had to have some, came over and never ate. Then tells me on the way out the door that they really only eat dark meat and they had that elsewhere. ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME? Why the FUCK am I doing all this shit? Here is a note to you male readers of my blog (if there are any) women take this shit seriously, ok? I know I sound a tad overwrought but that is the epitome of rude. You come to my house without ever telling me that chances are you will not be eating and then literally leave after like an HOUR. I was HOT. Raging case of chapped red ass over in these here parts. Then enter the ingrateful step-children complete with boyfriend. First off, let's go through an etiquette lesson. When you enter your father's home, is it only polite to speak to the step-bitch in the kitchen who is slaving her fucking ass off since you walked into HER house to eat HER food? The answer is YES. How about "Hi, how are you? How are things? What's going on with you?" Well, fuck no. The step-daughter said a total of 10 words. I got a total of 3 from the step-son and that was only because he was literally forced to speak to me upon leaving since he literally crossed my path. Thank God I am not forced to bite my tongue until December 21 when these same ingrates are forced to go with us to see my father and step-mother. Perhaps once they see me and my step-mom who, hold your britches people, I actually LIKE and RESPECT. Holy fucking shit. What was that, you might say? Yes, I like her. She and I absolutely had a battle of wills at various times in my upbringing but she makes my Dad ridiculously happy and she has been good to me. Plus, and this is probably a biggie, my mother did not bad mouth the fuck out of her to me. Wait, an ex-wife who acted maturely and responsibly for her child's sake???? I know, I am just blowin' the roof off the joint today. Let the record show this - I will put up with a lot from these kids because they are my husband's children and despite their utter rudeness, he loves them, as he should. However, if they go and treat my family and close friends with the same utter disregard with which they have doused liberally over me, the wrath of hell that will come upon them will be UGLY. So if there is an online news story from Phoenix, AZ about a girl who says "fuck" a lot slapping the living shit out of two teenagers, y'all can say you knew me when.

OK, enough with the bitter. Last night, I was just so freaking done that my husband - lovely man that he can be - rubbed my feeties. Yep, him did. It felt so freaking good. Hard ceramic tile under my tender feets for two solid days = mega pain. He was just as tired as me but he did it anyway. I suppose he might love me. Slightly. Until I burp or fart.

Today I got up and really kicked back. I left the house only to bring things over to the husband who is working and to run to the bank. Then I came home and did a lot of work on the computer (because it required very little movement) and listened to the LSU game. I figured if the husband rubbed my feet, I could at least try to give a shit about his team. It's the least a wife could do, no??? I, therefore, have the house to myself tonight. Very peaceful. Have the candles burning, the tv on the Ghost Whisperer starring Wonder Tits and plan to sit and watch a movie later. Fucking wild ass woman - that's me. Tomorrow I may go to Target to check out the sales because it was so not happening today. I have done the shopping thing after Thanksgiving a couple times and just could not see it happening today.

I am thankful for many things. First and foremost, of course, the fact that my family and I made it through Hurricane Bitch and Hurricane Bitch, Part Deux relatively unscathed. I am thankful for my family scattered all over the country who took very good care of us when we needed it. I am grateful for the husband even though I don't always show it. I am so very very very thankful that he is supporting my efforts to work at home because the very idea of going back to an office gives me a tic. I am grateful that despite their ripening ages, my parents are still well and happy. I am grateful that my friends are there for me when I need them most. I am grateful that despite being so tempted on so many occasion to rip into those children, I have not said a word to them about what they have done to me and their father because I know somewhere deep down that the only person who would get hurt in that is the husband. It's just not worth it. I am very happy to have my pets. They provide me with so much laughter, stress and pain, but are worth every moment of me fussing at them. I am also grateful that the blog world has been incredibly kind to me - sometimes with comments, sometimes with laughter, and what blew me away most, with so much support (financial and emotional) after the hurricane. Y'all do not even know me (in the typical sense) and yet did not even hesitate to extend yourselves. That is unreal. Truly. I thank you all. I hope your holidays were as wonderful as y'all are. :)

Elizabeth at 8:00 PM

8comments

Thursday, November 24, 2005

All over

The cooking is done. The baking is done. The eating is done. 90% of the clean up is done. I can't adequately begin to explain the exhaustion. I still have enough food to feed a Turkish army. Must.........go............rest.

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!!

Elizabeth at 8:25 PM

3comments

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Scenes from a kitchen

The prep work begins.

My assistant

The baking begins.....mmmmmmm, cookies.

My very first homemade from scratch pie crusts. Go me. :)

Now I get to go clean the entire house. Please shoot me. Or give me a B-12 shot.

Elizabeth at 6:53 PM

10comments

Update

Two loaves of banana bread are complete. A double batch of chocolate chip cookies are complete. (I know that is not very Thanksgivingy but some friends are coming and they love my cookies, so I gotta please the peeps, right?) I am currently starting two pumpkin pies. The potatoes are peeled and cut up in small pieces for the roasted parmesan potatoes. I am doing quite well thus far.

Also, thanks tons for the support and impromptu gravy recipies, but I found one in one of my cook books that is beyond easy. Who knew gravy was not complicated? NOT ME!!!!

Update part deux - I just made my first homemade from scratch pie crust and Jesus Christ I am exhausted. That is a task.

Elizabeth at 1:45 PM

Please excuse the absence

Today is where I run frantically around cleaning and cooking and baking in a vain effort to make tomorrow go seamlessly. 15 people are coming to my home to celebrate the holiday. Holy fucking shit. So try not to miss me too much (yeah right) for I will be busy acting like I know what the fuck I am doing.

Holy shit, how do you make gravy?

Elizabeth at 9:49 AM

Monday, November 21, 2005

It is exhausting living in my house - CLEARLY

Elizabeth at 2:14 PM

14comments

Can you feel the love?

Elizabeth at 2:09 PM

Saturday, November 19, 2005

When the sun goes down.....we'll be groovin'

Elizabeth at 10:31 AM

9comments

Friday, November 18, 2005

Glimpse into my sarcasm

Behind my acid tongue is something that I rarely let out. I get my feelings hurt very easily. VERY. I read in a book once - I think the book was the Four Agreements - that taking things personally so often is actually incredibly egotistical. Not everything is about me. I had never thought of that before but I suppose it makes sense. Sometimes we are so distracted by our own issues that we do not realize that others are just as distracted and are so not paying attention to you.

However, there are some things that are so hurtful that they keep rearing their ugly heads over and over until you either rip your hair out in disgust or you deal with it. Being that I am unsure how to effectively deal with these situations (other than create giant scenes), I have chosen to remove myself from the situations. That step has caused remarkable problems for my husband and me.

Situation 1: his children. For reasons that are too many for me to go into here, I have decided, after a large amount of thought and reflecting, to remove myself from caring about them. That sounds cold, doesn't it? It has taken me 9 years to realize that these kids do not care about me. I am not saying that they hate me. I do not think they wish ill upon me. However, there is no love there. There is absolutely no respect there. I am an annoyance who once in a while shows her value in the form of money for this or that or some skill that I may have that they can use me for briefly. After I have exhausted my use, I am to fade into the background once again. I have tried over and over again to win the hearts of these kids. For reasons that I can only guess, it has not worked. I bore them. More importantly, I am not their mother, who in their eyes, is the end all be all of any sort of female role model they will ever need. That is what it is boiled down to - I am not needed. As much as that hurts me, my husband has never once dealt with this. While it is true that I have just told him to let things go with them because I thought it would result in WW III, I can't help but feel slighted. I can't help but feel that if he had handled this years ago before it spiraled out of control that perhaps his kids and I would have had a chance. Alas, he did not and now it is too late. In order to protect myself from any further pain, I have elected to not allow myself to care. Therefore, I do not ask about them, I do not deal with them. Of course, I am not a bitch - they are welcome in my home because it is not just my house. I am not a petty wench. However, I am letting go of any hope that they and I will share anything other than a shared family member in their father.

Situation 2: the ex-wife. It is no secret that I despise her. She is a manipulative bitch that I don't think I will ever stop hating. I know the power of forgiveness and letting things go. I know that if I can manage to do that I will only be giving a gift to myself. I just can't. I have tried many times to let her shit go and not let it get to me. Her voice, her face, her very presence is a bur in my side that never gets any easier to bear. Is that not the most ridiculous thing? Nine years people. I mean, one would think that I could have let this shit go by now, right? I so know that. I so get how all this sounds - that I am a nut job who clearly holds grudges like they are diamonds. Maybe that's true and maybe I am a therapist's wet dream. I really don't know. However, it once again boils down to my husband not taking up for me and us. His ex has made our lives miserable more than once. She tends to go in fits and spurts with her interference. However, in the interest of not upsetting his children (he says) and not having the balls to stop taking her shit (I and a few other say), he has let her run roughshod over our lives. The anger that I feel inside for that one thing is staggering. I know that my anger should be directed towards my husband and until recently, I did not get that. Now I do. If my husband does not grow a set of balls and start to protect our family soon, there are going to be a lot of problems. I can't take it for much longer.

Situation 3: his co-workers. My husband is a firefighter. Not sure what the firefighters are like in your town or city, but here they tend to be a tad white trashish. It's true. I have little to nothing in common with these men or their wives. We are friends with one of his co-worker and his wife and that is pretty much it. It does not help that one of these co-workers is the ex's brother and another is the ex's brother's father in law. It is just one big sick family over there. So, when I came on the scene, I was distrusted right from the get go. I was the whore who broke up the perfect marriage between the ex and my husband. Yeah, ok. My point is that no one ever gave me the benefit of the doubt or even tried to get to know me. I have been maligned and made to feel uncomfortable at every single function. I have been called names that they did not think I heard, but I did. My husband has taken up for me a total of one time with these men. Once. In 9 years. Rather than approaching them and saying, "Look, this is my wife and I love her and if she feels uncomfortable, there must be a reason," he adopted the let's deal with nothing attitude that has prevailed over our lives thus far. That way of thinking is clearly not working.

So, that is where I am right now. I have removed myself from dealing at all with his children, his ex-wife (I put the child support in the mail box) and his co-workers. I know some of you may think that I am the epitome of selfish and that for my husband's sake I should just suck it up and deal with all of these things. For better or worse and all that jazz. I thought that for a long time. I really did. And I really tried. I am tired of trying and feeling like no one has my back. I am tired of getting my feelings hurt over and over and OVER. I believe that we all have a choice in how we are treated. If I continue to allow these people to shit on me, then in essence I am saying it's ok and to please pile more on me please. It's not ok. I am finally standing up for myself. Even though my husband is having a hard time with all of this and is himself a casualty, it is something that I have to do. Time will tell whether or not he is truly behind me the way he claims to be. I have to say though, that so far from what I have seen, when times get tough and a lot is on the line, I am left standing alone. I hope that changes. It is a shitty feeling.

Elizabeth at 3:49 PM

16comments

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Stuff Portrait Friday - something that represents my past

DSCF0267
Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.

As per Kristine's instructions from Random and Odd, our SPF is something representing our present, past and future.

As you will notice, this is a shelf in my book case. This giant red volume is a Black's Law Dictionary. As most of you know, I was a paralegal for an insurance defense firm. There was a million things I loved about that job, but there were a million and one things that I was not loving. I hated the stress. I hated the billable hours. (Whoever the fuck invented that small piece of hell should be strung up by his billable fucking hours and shot.) I hated dealing with attorneys that were very hot and cold in their demeanors. I hated not being home. I hated that my weekends were not spent enjoying time with friends and family, but were instead a maniacal race to finish all the things I needed to do in my "off" time in order to get back to work on Monday. It was insane and I truly hated it. I do not miss it a bit. Not one tiny iota. I hope that I never have to go back.

Elizabeth at 10:56 PM

SPF - something that represents my present

DSCF0263
Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.

This is my humble abode. I know this sounds lame but this really truly represents my present right now. My husband and I went through hell and back trying to get our home and I truly love it. I spend an INORDINATE amount of time trying to make it just how I want it - beautiful but cozy and inviting. My focus is very much on making this a nest for my family. I love how it looks from the outside. I love how it feels on the inside. I can't wait to fill up the nest with little birdies. :)

Elizabeth at 10:53 PM

Stuff Portrait Friday - something that represents my future

DSCF0268
Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.

This is where y'all would find me about 16 out of 24 hours a day. I spend my time online shopping, banking, reading up on y'all and uploading a sick amount of pictures. However, this represents my future in that this is how I intend to keep my family out of the poor house. RIGHT HERE, PEOPLE. My husband and I are hell bent on me working from home so that I won't have to put our wee ones in day care - you know, once they are squeezed out. Currently I am learning what it is going to take to make income from my little computer. Let's hope this works people.

Please let me know if you played!!!

Elizabeth at 10:50 PM

14comments

The bill will just never go down

I finally had to click on the heat early this morning after much resistance. FUCK.

How true it is that when it is chilly outside, you just so do not want to climb out of the bed? It is just so much harder.

Yep, that is the sum of the thoughts in my head. I am officially boring.

Elizabeth at 10:15 AM

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

This man just leaves me speechless

I could make a sundae out of him.

Elizabeth at 10:01 PM

10comments

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

How am I to discipline THIS?

Wow, those smell good.

They will never know it's me that finished off the can.

Elizabeth at 8:36 PM

Reason #56 why I should not be allowed in public by myself

In Target, I come upon this lady with this absolutely adorable, chubby-ass, happy baby boy in her buggy. I literally stop right by her and say the following:

"How do you NOT just eat his cheeks?"

She looked horrified and probably has a restraining order out on me.

Note to self: every thought in your head does not necessarily need to come OUT.

Elizabeth at 6:51 PM

11comments

Parched

We are supposed to have one muthah of a rain storm tonight and I can't wait. Truthfully, other than the fucking HURRICANES, we have had almost no rain. I love rain storms and tonight's should be a doozy. :) The only bad thing is that the husband will be out working in this shit and that ain't cool. Also, we still have a blue roof and let's hope the rain/wind combo will not blow that bad boy off. That would sorta suck. OK, not so much into the rain storm now.

Elizabeth at 5:43 PM

1comments

Stolen from Kami - who I believe is my long lost sister

2 names you go by: Liz, Yo Bitch!

2 parts of your heritage: German, Irish - temper mixed with drinks - go me

2 things that scare you: not squeezing out a kid or squeezing it out and it being a croupy devil spawn

2 of your everyday essentials: computer related activities (banking, reading blogs, emailing friends I used to work with, etc) and reading

2 things you are wearing right now: black shorts and a striped shirt

2 of your favorite bands or musical artists (at the moment): Gwen and Black Eyed Peas

2 favorite songs (at the moment): My Humps (BEP), Luxurious (Gwen)

2 things you want in a relationship (other than real love): passion and hot sex

2 truths: I can be a real bitch sometimes, I am very rough on myself

2 physical things that appeal to you (in the opposite sex): dimples and good teeth

2 of your favorite hobbies: reading and baking

2 things you want really badly: to be out of debt (plan is in action for that to happen) and to find some peace (I don't mean that in a "I am so Zen kind of way - I just mean that I can't ever stop my head from going)

2 places you want to go on vacation: Greece and Maui

2 things you want to do before you die: watch my son play high school football while I wear a tshirt that has his number on it because I am just THAT proud, meet Terry Bradshaw (if you don't know who that is either look on ESPN.com or Steelers.com or you are dead to me)

2 ways that you are stereotypically a dude/chick: love purses and love to do stuf around the house to make it look pretty and comfy

2 things you are thinking about now: that I have to drop the child support off at the devil's house and that I am having a white trash dinner

2 stores at which you shop: Target, Kohls

Elizabeth at 4:04 PM

1comments

It's only a matter of time before I name him Tinkerbell and start saying "That's so hot" and "Do you love it?"

Elizabeth at 2:49 PM

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Big surprise what I am doing tonight

This is my new favorite Steeler. Of course, Jerome Bettis is my fave active Steeler but I gotta say that Troy Polamalu is rapidly gaining ground. He plays hard and fast but fair. I love that.

Not for nothing, but check out that score. It's because they rock and I have my Steelers socks on. See?

(Please pay no mind to the cankles. I have a tad bit of water retention from the lovely PMS.)

Elizabeth at 10:21 PM

This just slays me

What does one call this pose?????

Elizabeth at 10:06 PM

Saturday, November 12, 2005

The Bubber

I just watched "Ladder 49" for the first time so I am feeling rather melancholy. Bear with me while I regale you with the story of the Bubber.

Bubber's name was Minew and he was my cat. Let me describe. All black, short stumpy legs, very fluffy which just served to add to the appearance of girth and piercing green/yellow eyes. NOT FRIENDLY. Where Reba is just your typical definition of anti-social, Minew was downright mean. However, he loved him some mama. I got him from a girl I used to wait tables with. She had gotten him but her other cat was not taking to the new addition well and was basically beating the tar out of him. I was not looking for another cat, but by now, y'all should know I am a giant animal wimp so I took him in. Minew did not make a huge impression on me initially. I had another cat, Buford or Big Boof as I called him. That cat had a giant fucking head but that is another post. Anyways, Minew never really latched on to me and we all just sort of co-existed in my apartment for a while. Then one day it all changed. As anyone who has ever waited tables will attest, the first thing anyone wants to do upon getting off work is change clothes. Whether you realize it or not, that smell sticks to you - good or bad. So I sat down to take off my shoes and Minew did this thing to me that forever had me wrapped around his fat little paw. He sauntered up to me on the bed. (And he so sauntered too. No strolling or merely walking for my boy.) When he got next to my arm, I don't remember clearly but I probably greeted him in some way. He then banged his head on my arm and ran his head up the length of my arm until he could go no farther and then he just stared up at me adoringly. Now anyone who has any sort of heart would be hooked and I so was. From that point on, he was my boy. He did this head arm bang and look for the rest of his days and I loved it every single time.

As time went on, I met the husband and Minew was none too pleased. Who was this man and why did he think he was welcome in our bed? (For those of you who thought I remained a virgin until marriage, skip this paragraph, would ya?) Anyways, even after the husband became a regular fixture around my world, Minew, at best, tolerated him. Sometimes. It was not below him to take a swipe if he thought that the husband got a tad too close. My absolute favorite was when the husband and I would be laying in bed watching tv or talking and Minew would ever so slowly and passive agressively make his way right in between us even if there was a total of 3 inches of space. He just took one step after the other until his fat black ass was firmly ensconced in between his mama and the enemy. After a while, even the husband found this charming.

Minew was my absolute love. I just adored him. I loved his fat ass. I loved his incredibly slow swagger. I loved that it took him 15 minutes of contemplating to decide whether to take the leap from the coffee table to the couch. To make what could be an incredibly long story, somewhat shorter, let's just say Minew got sick. He got a fatty liver disease - fitting since he was a house. Basically his liver could not process his food anymore correctly and he got jaundice and ended up poisoning his own blood. I took him to the emergency vet initially and then to his regular vet the next morning where he stayed for a week and $1100. He finally came home with me on a Saturday morning and I very naively thought the horrible part was behind me. I had to force feed him because he had to get food in his system and he hated it. I mean, try to picture filling a syringe type deal with incredibly wet, foul-smelling food and then shooting it into a cat's mouth when you have said cat in a death grip. It was just awful. I did it though because it needed to be done and I loved him. This was Saturday and Sunday. I went to bed Sunday night and Minew was there on the bed with me miserable but there and I was happy to have him. The husband missed all this because he worked all weekend. I was awoken at about 2 in the morning by what can only be described as a distress yowl. Minew had to have taken every ounce of his sad strength to holler for me and let me know all was not fine. I woke up and jumped out of bed and turned on the light. He was still right next to me but was clearly in distress. I called the husband at the station and just cried and freaked out for a few minutes. Minew was salivating heavily and not breathing well. I finally had the husband call the ER vet and tell him I was coming while I scooped the cat up and got him in my car. I drove in a horrid rainstorm to the ER vet and was nothing short of hysterical the whole way. I have never felt such pain in my whole life. I knew this was it and I was alone with him. I got to the vet and scooped his lifeless body out of my car desperately clinging to the hope that he could be made ok. When the vet examined him and felt over and over for a heartbeat, I just sat and cried next to the exam table. The vet finally looked over and me and shook his head. I am not sure how to describe what I felt. I was obviously despondent. I can honestly say I have never felt that sort of sadness in my life. I have been lucky in that I have had to deal with very few deaths of those around me and obviously, none of those people who are really close to me. Maybe when that happens to me, I will be able to write that night off as merely sad but for now, it still breaks my heart. As I write this, I can recall so clearly how that felt and I cry every time I think of him. I still can't talk about him and the silly things he did for too long or it gets to me. This was almost 2 years ago - December 7, 2003. I really felt like I failed my boy. I should have noticed something sooner. I don't suppose I will ever be able to not blame myself for his death. I am just glad that I can think about him and laugh about him sometimes - for short periods - and not fall apart. He was the first pet I had that I truly felt was just my little love. He adored me from the very beginning. What person could ever resist that? I still miss him when I come home. I can't imagine that will ever go away.

Elizabeth at 10:34 PM

Friday, November 11, 2005

A day unlike any other

Currently watching "Wicker Park" (Netflix) and I gotta say - a tad disappointed. The beginning is very much like a movie that I love that got horrific reviews, Abandon. The rest of it is Single While Female pretty much. But slower. Good times. Only redeeming factor - Josh Hartnett and Matthew Lillard. For those of you that are not Scream afficionados (and if you are not, FOR SHAME) Matthew Lillard plays Stu who gets to say lines like "Pooookow!" while making gun hand motions. He's a hoot.

I drove my ass to Baton Rouge today just for shits and giggles. I went to the Mall of LA and strolled around briefly and have realized that malls are so very much overrated. There is nothing in there I can't find on the net without the parking hassles and stroller kamikazes (and you know who you are.) However, I did land a hand drawn picture of Tiger Stadium for the husband who is a rabid LSU fan. Nice that my anniversary gift to him is a cool month late, but I was truly clueless as to what to get him. I say a month late and thoughtful is better than on time and just bought to fulfill an obligation. That is what I tell myself to relieve the guilt.

Then I went to my haven, my Mecca, the end all be all of retail existence - Super Target. I get the pitter patters in my chest region just from driving in the parking lot. It makes it all the more beautiful that the ST is flanked by a Chik Fil-A. What beats buying Christmas table decor and then driving through for a grilled chicken sandwich and a Coke the size of your head. Nothing, I tell ya. NOTHING. It's the simple things, people.

Sidenote - this movie is getting stupider by the MOMENT.

This weekend is going to be, in a word, interesting. I will have 4 pre-teen girls in my home from about 1 PM tomorrow until sometime on Sunday. My two nieces have made buds with the daughter of some friends so they want to do a sleepover. No problem, I am fine with it. Then the nieces wanted to bring friends so I was up to 5 girls which frightened even me. However, the one friend of a niece had to back out so I am down to 4 - possibly 3. There is a God and she is kind. I plan to drag them to stores to try on clothes for me so I can get their sizes and hopefully wear them out to the point of dropping because I have to do some work at some point tomorrow and while I am nice, I hate to be bugged while working. It drives me. Obviously something I will have to get over when I pop out the chirrens.

When I was driving home today, I thought about how so many people who visit New Orleans see like 10% of what is so cool about this area. I have made it known that I am NOT a fan of the New Orleans area. However, when I say that, I mean literally New Orleans proper. I live in a suburb about 15 minutes away and I like my area, for the most part, just fine. However, the outlying parishes are what is beautiful about this state. Marshland and swamps are not pretty in the conventional sense, but I have grown to appreciate them. The river parishes and the bayou parishes are just so distinct. The husband and I will every so often drive the Pooper down to Port Fourchon which is about 2.5 hours away but worth it since there are beaches that are rather remote. Remote enough that we can let Psycho off his leash and let him run like the lunatic he is. Granted you have to look at offshore oil rigs chilling out there in the Gulf but if you just walk and enjoy the time and the sounds of the water, it is very peaceful. Anyone that comes here to see NO is not going to see that. They will see the French Quarter and its lovely urine soaked smell that no hurricane will ever wash away. They will see Uptown with its beautiful 19th century homes with the cut glass doors and windows. If they are very adventurous, they might book a swamp tour or go on a plantation tour. There are so many other things to see. The town where my husband grew up is such a place, Jean Lafitte. It's named after a pirate, for God's sake. I think that's cute. It's a small town full (for the most part) of small town people who have an accent all of their own and speak so fast that it took me YEARS to keep up with what the cute father in law was saying. Basically, my point is that New Orleans is so much more than the Quarter and Mardi Gras (more noise, drunkenness and urine) and Ann Rice. There is a certain quality of the people that I have met here that I have not found replicated anywhere else I have lived. I am not sure the proper word or phrase to describe it but down home is the best I can come up with. When I was younger, I did not appreciate any of that type of thing in anyone. I am glad that I am older and know that small towns do not always breed small minds. They can breed closeness, unity and character. It feels very much like home to me - despite the many things I find to bitch about.

Elizabeth at 10:03 PM

Stuff Portrait Friday - last thing I bought for myself

DSCF0231
Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.

I love me some Patricia Cornwell. I especially love her Kay Scarpetta books. However, even though I snatched this book up in, of course, Target, with such glee one would have thought I just found fat free, full taste Reese cups, it has left me deflated. The characters are all changed and going in directions that I am not loving. However, I am not done yet, so there is still hope.

Elizabeth at 8:05 AM

Last thing someone bought for you

Fujicam
Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.

This was my anniversary present from the Husband. Ain't it grand? If my pictures of late have been of any better quality, this is the sole reason. Trust me, I am no photographer.

Elizabeth at 8:04 AM

Outside of wallet

DSCF0232
Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.

My purrrty wallet that cost a mere $16.99 at the Mecca. I heart it.

Elizabeth at 8:03 AM

Inside of my wallet

DSCF0233
Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.

I got this little lovely at Target. Those are all my various cards - very few of them in the credit variety. One is my debit card and then of course I have like a grocery card, one for Petsmart, etc. Anything to land a bargain.

Elizabeth at 8:02 AM

9comments

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Sixteen Candles

This wonderful 80's classic is on tonight and while watching it, I realized something.

Who would have ever thought that this -

Would turn into THIS.

All I can say is thank God geeks get older.

Elizabeth at 8:06 PM

13comments

Mama, that light is just so bright.

Elizabeth at 6:59 PM

1comments

Bad ass cat

Chairs were up on the kitchen table so I could scrub the floor. This is what I get for trying to clean.

Elizabeth at 5:54 PM

3comments

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

One of the numerous things I have stolen from Cherry

10 Favorites:

Favorite Season: Spring
Favorite Sport: to watch - football; to play - soccer
Favorite Time: right when I am ready to fall asleep
Favorite Month: October
Favorite Actor: Dennis Quaid and Robert DeNiro
Favorite Actress: It was Katie Holmes before she got sucked into the Cruise vortex. Probably Ashley Judd
Favorite Food: pizza and Mexican food - real Mex food, not some gringo shit that's mass produced
Favorite Drink: Coke
Favorite Place: in my Dad's house on a morning when I can hear him in the kitchen cooking one of his fantabulous breakfasts and singing Frank Sinatra

9 Currents:
Current Feeling: full (just ate din din) and a little blah
Current O/S: What does O/S mean?
Current Windows Open: AOL
Current Drink: Water
Current Time: 6:26 PM
Current Mobile(s) Used : Some random Samsung phone
Current Show on TV: Everybody Loves Raymond repeat - I love that show
Current Thought: Can I go to bed NOW?
Current Clothes: black shorts, green shirt. Yes that's right - shorts. It's eighty some odd degrees here. What the FUCK?

8 Firsts:
First Nick: First Nick? Um, I guess the dipshit I used to work with at Applebees
First Kiss: Franklin when I was 12. I loved me some geeky men
First Crush: Oh lord. Let me think. Some dude that lived in my mom's and my apt complex and was like 10 when I was like 8. So cute.
First Computer: HP something or other
First Vehicle I drove: Mercury Topaz
First Job: worked in an attorney's office during the summer during high school
First Movie I watched on Pulse Global’s print: I have no idea what this is.
First Pet: Candy - my dog when my parents were still married.
First Shave: Uhhhh, 13? Maybe?

7 Lasts:
Last Chai: I am not a tea girl, so never
Last Movie: First Daughter on DVD. Theater: Flight Plan
Last Time I Drove: just now brought my mom back from the doctor
Last Time Shaved: this morning
Last Web Site Visited: Target.com
Last Software Installed: the thingy to use my foot pedal for transcription
Last Pill I Had: Vitamin I took this AM

6 Have You Evers:
Have You Ever Broken the Law: Speeding constantly and stealing.
Have You Ever Been Drunk: Oh, hell yeah
Have You Ever Climbed a Tree: Yes.
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn’t Know: Some HOT EMT when I was in high school up on the roof of my friend's house. It was fun. My ex boyfriend showed up and he helped me throw eggs on his car from the roof
Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire or Bomb Blast?: No
Have You Ever Broken Anyone’s Heart: I’m afraid so.

5 Things:
Things You Can Hear Right Now: tv, the cat meowing, the dog groaning from the sheer enjoyment of licking his pee pee, the sound of me typing and......shit i don't know. My arteries clogging I guess.
Things on Your Computer Table: OH jeez. OK, lime green thing with CDs in it, Jerome Bettis bear, Xmas cards to be sent out, bill divider, Steelers memo box, iPod, notebooks, clipboards for typing, pen holder, speakers, paper holder, printer, big jug of water, flash cards and bills
Things You Ate Today: PB&J, orange slice candy things, Quarter Pounder, fries, and so much cookie dough I could explode
Things in Mind: Whether this trip in December will be fun AT ALL, if I will do some work later, what is on TV tonight, excited that my friend got engaged and how cute Reba is (she just plopped her ass on the desk)

4 Places You Have Been Today: bedroom, car, living room, kitchen

3 People You Can Tell Anything To: Jen, Wendell and I guess the husband

2 Choices:
* Black or White: Black
* Hot or Cold: Cold

1 Thing You Want To Do Before You Die: pop me out some chirrens

Elizabeth at 6:36 PM

Dusty AKA Hustler Kitty

Elizabeth at 2:38 PM

Hoss AKA the Bowling Pin

Elizabeth at 2:36 PM

3comments

Monday, November 07, 2005

My bed - the DMZ

Elizabeth at 1:27 PM

I need a 12 step program

I just bought this shit for my Thanksgiving table (hence the fall colors even though it looks remarkably Christmasy) and I was excited. Like really EXCITED. What the fuck, people? I used to rock out to Motley Crue for Christ sake!!!

PS - those little snowflake/Santa deals in the back are actually for Christmas. Target dollar bins baby. Gotta love it.

Elizabeth at 1:24 PM

7comments

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Jingles of days gone by

Am I the only person who remembers the commercial that used to air during Saturday morning cartoons that was about cheese? I am reminded of it every time I eat a piece of cheddar cheese.

I hanker for a hunk of,
A slab, a slice, or chunk of
I hanker for a hunk
Of cheese!!!

Every time I break into this song while eating cheese, my husband looks at me like "Really? I married you on purpose, huh? Mmmmmmkay."

Elizabeth at 8:03 PM

10comments

Justice in its purest form

I love that the fuckwad from Philly got suspended indefinitely. Bye bye TO.

http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/news?slug=eaglesowens&prov=st&type=lgns

If you want to read the article, there ya go.

Also, I do not believe he is the best wide receiver in the NFL. There are several that will give him a run for his money. Like Hines Ward. So suck it, dickhead.

Elizabeth at 12:50 PM

Open letter to my neighbor

Perhaps your temporary solution of us having no fence should not have been chicken wire that dogs can see through being that you have four of them. This is what I see pretty much all day. Seriously. ALL DAY.

Elizabeth at 10:32 AM

Friday, November 04, 2005

I have to post this here so I don't actually say the words out loud

I am so fucking aggravated. We have had plans for, I am guessing, three years that this Christmas, we (we being me the husband and his children) would be spending Xmas with my father's side of the family in Phoenix. I very stupidly thought the hard parts were done - those being buying the plane tickets and getting the ever so important OK from the ex-bitch. All that was done and has been for MONTHS. Oh, how naive I can be.

Let me paint the picture. The daughter is 17 and has a boyfriend. Y'all, I really try hard to remember that time in my life. You know, when my world was my friends and my boyfriend and my family was just a minor annoyance with which I had to deal. I do remember that - CLEARLY. I think I have been rather understanding about any of the crap that has come up. Until now. I am just fucking over it. The ex calls the husband today. There is a problem. WELL, WHAT A GOD DAMN SHOCK. The daughter is not thrilled to be spending her entire Xmas break with us in Phoenix. She wants to go but just wants time here too. My husband suspects that her real problem is that she won't see her boyfriend on Christmas Day. OK, I get that too. Believe me, I do. I pitched a total conniption fit once when my fam wanted me to go to dinner with them rather than to my boyfriend's house. I mean, an all out FIT. And I was 16 at the time - not 4. So I see where she is coming from. What chaps me is the underlying problem here. It is not the daughter wanting to see the boyfriend. It is the fact that anything and everything having to do with my husband, me or our families means nothing to these kids. NOTHING. We are afterthoughts. Or even worse, we are walking wallets. My dad and step-mom may not be perfect but they are busting their ASSES to make sure these kids have a good time. They have spent the last 6 fucking weekends going all over God's creation finding things to see, things to do, places to eat, go here, go there and all in the name of these kids not being bored. They know that the husband and I will be fine with whatever. I mainly just want to see family. However, being that my parents are, in fact, PARENTS, they know that a 15 and 17 year old's idea of big fun is not hanging out with family. And what do we get? Nothing. We don't get "You know what, Dad, I have never been on a fucking airplane and thank you spending your hard earned money to take me on one." Or "It will be weird and kinda sad not having Mom at Christmas but I am excited to meet more of Miss Liz's family." Hell fucking NO. Trust me, the bitch is laying the ground work. "Well, I guess we had all better enjoy Thanksgiving as a family since y'all won't be here for Xmas." (Insert martyred sigh here.) Is it too fucking much to ask that these children be somewhat interested in something other than their mom's family? Is it too God damned much to ask that they give a shit about their dad's dad who is sick? Apparently the answer to those questions is a resounding yes. It is too much to ask. Why do I continually set myself up to get my feelings hurt? Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? Well, sign me up for the fucking straight jacket then because clearly I have issues.

I'm just sick to death of this shit, y'all. Blended families are a total misnomer. There is no blending. It frequently ends up with his and hers with one of the two getting left out in the cold. Well, it's cold out here, y'all. Really cold. And I need a parka. I never thought it would be this hard. I thought that if we were loving and kind and understanding that we would be ok. So. Very. Wrong. So now I am pissed and I'll tell you what. I don't even want them to go with us now. But that is just between you and me. And, of course, the internet.

Elizabeth at 11:25 PM

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Stuff Portrait Friday

According to Kristine at Random and Odd, SPF is about the following:

-our doormat
-our favorite rug
-our favorite socks

Well, my doormat was purchased at Target. (Big shock.) But I like it. It's very autumnal. Is that a word? Whatever.

This rug is in my room. I love it because my comforter is green and pink and white and this matches wonderfully. (Yes, my husband sleeps under that comforter and could not give less of a shit.)

I doubt this one was much of a shocker, right? I'm sure y'all could give less of a shit, but Big Ben had arthroscopic surgery on his right knee and is out for this Sunday. Thank God we are playing a relatively crappy team, Green Bay. Of course it is in Lambeau, so that blows. And my future husband, Jerome Bettis was downgraded to doubtful. My poor darlin. His body just can't take the punishment anymore. :(

Y'all have a great day and let me know if you played. I loved to check out pictures.

Elizabeth at 11:06 PM

12comments

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Keep on keepin' on

I am just tired tonight so I doubt this will be very long. I am making my way through this online class pretty well. I find chunks of time here and there and it seems like I am making at least some progress. Of course learning this stuff will just make the crap I know for trivia games more ridiculous. Like I will pull answers out of my ass from shit I learned in 9th grade. It annoys the shit out of my husband. When we discussed me doing this class, I said "OK, but don't get pissed off when one night we are playing Trivial Pursuit and I pull the Greek root word for liver out of my ass."

The days literally fly by. I mean, how on EARTH did I get anything done when I worked 8:30 to 5? Ya know how, on weekends. I ran like a maniac all damn weekend doing this and that and really not relaxing. Luckily the husband has been able to modify his schedule that he makes his off time on weekends so I am going to try to do the same. If it means I have to run like a maniac all week doing everything so I can TRULY do very little on weekends, then so be it. :)

The materials for the class came today and I have not really gone through them too much. I am glad they made it to me though. The medical dictionary alone is fabulous to have. It just occurred to me how much that prior statement lets y'all in on just how much of a fucking nerd I am.

Visited the in-laws yesterday. They are all set up in their trailer from FEMA. It is SMALL. Man alive. Husband and I would be falling over each other for sure. I need some space. However, it's a place to live and that is what matters, ya know? The FIL is not doing so hot. He is still in pain and the doctor just seems not to be too concerned. I mean, he has been on Vicodin for about a year and a half and has now built up such a resistance that it just is not working anymore. I am thinking something needs to be done. I mean, maybe I am a tad bit of a control freak but if that was my husband, I would be all up in that doctor's face like "Um, have you seen how cute and tiny my little husband is? Him being in pain is UNACCEPTABLE. Remove it or medicate it pronto. Now go back to golfing." I mean, doctors are probably saying things to her (the MIL) that are important or unclear and she is not asking questions or getting clarification on issues. That ain't gonna work, dear. I am sorta pushing the husband to either go to the doctor with his dad or let me go. I just want him to be ok. I have watched a rather strong man who used to work on a tug boat as a captain just deteriorate and that, my dear friends, is not cool. There is something to be said for quality of life and his is seriously lacking.

I need sleep. I was up late last night working on some school stuff and was awake later than I normally am so tonight I am back to being a grandma and tired at 10 PM. What a wild woman. Somebody really has to stop me.

PS - we have a new tenant, Dusty, the in-laws cat. He is going to live with us for a while and the other felines are NOT pleased. It's pretty damn funny actually. Good night, y'all.

Elizabeth at 10:59 PM