<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/plusone.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d10984815\x26blogName\x3dTwisted+life\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttp://twistedlifeofmine.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://twistedlifeofmine.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-8579710881784851407', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Quick update

The gentleman in the room next to us just found out that his sister is dead. He was having trouble with is phone so I told my mom to see if the people he was calling had Nextel phones because apparently there is spotty service. My mom went out and he was crying and told her he just got through and his sister is dead. I am just so sad. She stayed behind - not sure why. He had to go back in his room and tell his wife. That is what I mean. I am lucky. I have forgotten just how lucky in the last day or so but it just became glaringly clear to me. My family is safe. THAT is what matters.

Elizabeth at 9:34 PM


A little better

OK, I am calmer now. I want to first say thank you. All of you. I mean, I seriously can not even much believe the kindness that the blog world has showed me. From Nessa and various others just straight up inviting me and my psycho pets to come stay with them from Torrie wanted to do a fundraiser for me to just all the others praying and wishing me well and thinking of us. You truly do not even know how much that mean. When I have been at my wit's end, I have been able to log on and read comments that are so selflessly kind. All I can even think to say is thank you.

Truthfully, the best thing you can do is donate to the Red Cross. Despite my anger and sadness over all this, I am a lucky one. I am safe, I have money to live and I have family that will take care of us. My husband will be working non-stop and by having 20 days over OT per month, he will more than make up for what I will be missing in income. I am using the time to go up to Pittsburgh and stay with family and see people that I never get to see. Maybe in all of this, the blessing is just that - spend time with family. I miss my husband but I believe he is safe. The fire station is well armed. They have more guns than they are legally allowed to have but the cops are in no way going to fuss them about it. All emergency personnel is in the same boat. They are all just trying to make things ok for one another. So while I appreciate everything y'all have offered, there are people out there that need it much more than I do. There are old people left in homes, animals that the SPCA that needs money dearly, and people who have lost everything who, unlike some others, are choosing not to steal. But thank you. Thank you for offering all of these things when you don't even know me. It truly has helped restore my faith in humanity. Thank y'all so much. I don't know how I will ever adequately show my gratitude.

PS - those of you who have given me your phone numbers, the phones here are all jammed up still. My cell is useless and it is rough to get through on a land line even with all the activity. I just have been updating on here to let y'all know I am ok.

Elizabeth at 9:28 PM


Anger and hatred

I just spoke with my husband. There is a chance that I won't be able to go home until Tuesday now. Let me tell you why. Do you know why the governor is making all those people who stayed behind leave? Oh yes, part of it is for their safety of course. But part of it is because they are looting the fucking city. And I have made a huge deal about what a fucking cesspool Orleans parish is but they have crossed the brige ON FOOT and have now taking over Gretna and Terrytown. A band of them have taken over. They are armed and are taking whatever the fuck they want. They took over the Terrytown fire station. Well, let me just tell you fuckheads something. If you have the God damned energy to cross a huge ass bridge like that, then go find a fucking job somewhere and be productive. Clearly you are a lazy piece of shit because you want to be. If you sons of bitches go anywhere near my home, my husband or his station I will fucking find you all and kill you. I am over it. Living in that city has filled me with hate. At this point, I can understand those people I used to think were insane rednecks - you know who I mean - the nuts that have gun racks in their trucks and arm themselves to the hilt in order to defend their homes. I GET THEIR MINDSET NOW. A Jefferson parish sheriff's deputy was shot at point blank range. POINT BLANK RANGE by a looter. His family is now being held hostage by a prisoner from the Jeff parish jail. I will give you that bringing one's fam to a prison - not the best course of action but I imagine this officer thought they were safer with him. Clearly not. And why? WHY? Because we live in a society where shit like this is glamourized. It's cool to be a gangster. It's cool to be "hard." It's cool to be in fucking jail. Well fuck you all. Fuck you and I hope that someone takes all that is near and dear to you (that would be your guns and weed, of course) and fucking burns it up and destroys it all. Stay the fuck away from my neighborhood. We do not want you there and we will not allow you to stay. I am so angry right now that I could seriously hurt someone. What is so sad is that this is not even a racial thing. Granted I have yet to see a white person on the news looting, but you know what? It is an attitude of "I deserve this" and "Fuck whitey." I have encountered nothing but grace and kindness and compassion from every single person - white and black - since I have been in Memphis. Not sure why the pieces of shit in New Orleans are like this, but they are. I don't pity them in the least. I don't care how they were brought up. I don't care how poor they were. I don't care that they could not see their way out the ghetto. I DO NOT FUCKING CARE. I hate them all and I promise you that if one of them comes near my husband's fire station, he will rue the day. RUE THE FUCKING DAY.

Elizabeth at 4:06 PM


Tuesday, August 30, 2005


I spoke to my husband. He is back at the station. They have a landline there, so he was able to call me. It really is true that I can go home Monday, collect as much shit as I can, and get the fuck out for a month. My tentative plan is to do that and then drive up to Pittsburgh to stay with my mom's sister. My husband has to work every single day which is actually probably a blessing because I now have no income. However, I plan to work as an independent contractor for a company out of DC doing deposition summaries so at least I will get a few dollars coming in. I am just afraid. And terrified. And scared. And feel so very alone. I am very used to my husband being here. He is like a big security blanket and now I am out flailing about with no security. It is very frightening. Please say prayers for us. I appreciate that.

Torrie - your emails are so sweet. More than anything, just send good thoughts for all of us.

Elizabeth at 8:56 PM


Katrina - that fucking whore to takes it up the ass with no fucking Astroglide

I am really really trying to not focus on the negative and realize how incredibly lucky I am. I am safe. My mom and pets are safe. I am 95% sure my husband is safe. I have fairly reliable information that my house is still standing but may have some roof damage. However, in the last 24 hours I have received the following shitty ass news:

1. I can't go home for a week
2. When I do get to go home, it is to get the "essentials" and then get the fuck out for up to a MONTH
3. Our parish (we have parishes, not counties) president said it is so bad there that he has to carry a bag for his own human waste. The water and sewerage is THAT fucked up.
4. There is a really good chance that my in-law's house is fucking GONE.
5. I am not sure I will have a job to go back to
6. I am not sure how we are going to pay for all of this. We are rapidly going through the money set aside to get the husband un-fixed and thereby knocking me the fuck up.
7. I have no idea where my step kids are.
8. I have no idea where my husband is because all the cell towers are fucking gone and I have no idea where I can call him on a landline.

Once again, I am trying HARD to remember that I am safe and that while it sucks, for now we are ok financially. I know FEMA will come in and help. I am insured on the house for contents and flood damage but I just want to get home. I want to see that my house is standing. I want to fucking shoot any looters that DARE try to take my shit. Ya know, if one of these fuckwads was coming out of a store with milk for his baby or medicine for his sick mama, I would be like "Dude, you know what, do what you gotta do." These assholes are coming out with ten pairs of jeans stacked up on their arms. GET A JOB, YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF SPACE AND BREATH. I am just sad and angry and want to be home. And angry. I am so angry.

Elizabeth at 3:00 PM


Monday, August 29, 2005

What a difference a few days makes

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
I took this photo Friday at lunch right outside my office building. My office is located directly across the street that all y'all keep seeing on the news - the Hyatt with all the blown out windows. I have no idea when I will be able to go back to work. Yet another instance of be careful what you wish for.

Elizabeth at 10:35 PM


How it should be

Memphis is what I thought the South would be - considerate, chivalrous, kind, etc. I have not been very quiet about my distaste for some of the things about New Orleans. There are many things that I love about the Big Easy but some of the people there have left a bad taste in my mouth. However, I have been pleasantly surprised by the kindness of the citizens of Memphis. I mean, my mother and I are here, don't really want to be here, are worried, etc. We have encountered nothing but sweet people asking after us, wishing us well and above all else BEING POLITE. Sorry to say, but you do NOT find that in New Orleans. It's sad.

Elizabeth at 6:40 PM


More shit that I stole from Cherry

I am going to owe Cherry money for all the crap I steal from her blog.

Hating - slow drivers, being away from my home and my husband, worry about what other people say and/or think

Feeling - blessed that we made it out of New Orleans safely and that the husband is ok

Eating - Nothing. Just drinking Coke Zero

Loving - my fam and friends because that is what really matters, huh?

Thinking - about how I should be working on some work that I brought with me or taking a nap

Anticipating - what we will do for dinner and going home Wednesday hopefully

Realizing - That I can put up with a lot more than I ever imagined

Wishing - that I was home safe and sound with my fam

Gagging - when any of the animals vomit. That stench is just rough

Laughing - at comedian Ron White last night. That dude is so damn funny. Just what I needed after a really long horrific day

Stopping - putting myself last and realizing that if I don't take care of me, I am of no use to anyone

Discovering - who my true friends are

Talking - to family via internet and cell to let them know we are ok

Leaving - the hotel in a little while to go pick up Mom's and my Rx from Walgreens.

Elizabeth at 3:11 PM


More crap about moi

Stolen from Cherry

Seven Things I...

Plan to Do Before I Die:

1. Have a bambino or two
2. Stop worrying myself into upset stomachs over shit I can't control
3. Tell my step-children how much they have hurt their dad
4. Go to Greece
5. Find some happiness within myself
6. Make my health a priority
7. Run 5 miles again without passing the hell out

Things I Can Do:

1. Recall completely stupid trivia about movies.
2. Imitate people really well if I watch them enough.
3. Can do accents.
4. Sit and watch 80's movies all afternoon without moving other than to pee.
5. Shop at Target until I explode or own every single thing in there.
6. Read magazines until my mind turns to mush
7. Twirl a baton

Things I Can't Do:

1. Let things go
2. Tap dance
3. Get past the look of crawfish in order to eat them
4. Overlook abuse of an animal
5. Those "Firm" tapes. You need to be some sort of Rockette to get through that shit.
6. Walk past any reflective surface without wondering "Dear God, whose knockers are those???? Oh.......wait.....rrrrriiiiiggggghhhhhttttt."
7. Watch daytime tv for more than a couple days without feeling brain cells jump off cliffs in my head.

Things I say most:

1. What the FUCK?
2. "Dude, pick a lane"
3. Green means go, grandma
4. The fast lanes means just that, people - let's GO
5. How YOU doin'? (a la Joey)
6. That was some funny shit
7. Oh, that's an owner. (Said after a movie I particularly liked.)

Things that attract me to the opposite sex
1. Smile and dimples
2. Nice big dude (If I can bench press you, keep walking - and go find a sandwich, dude)
3. Funny and likes my sense of humor because it can be a tad.....let's just say, crude
4. Someone that can have fun without being drunk
5. Someone that is content to chill at home sometimes
6. A man in uniform
7. Anyone that can get my moods

Celebrity crushes
1. Dennis Quaid
2. The court services officer off Judging Amy
3. Andy Garcia
4. Jerome Bettis (cute as a button running back for the Steelers - seems like such a nice man - got his shit together)
5. Christian Bale
6. Brad Paisley
7. Dermot Mulroney

Elizabeth at 3:00 PM


Guess who is 2

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
Yep, today is the Pooper's second birthday. When I got him he was the teeniest, tiniest little thing and about the cutest dog I ever did see. I brought the digital cam to take his b-day pic even while evacuating. Never say I do not have my damn priorities in order, ok? He is currently standing on the bed that I am on looking out the hotel room window because his grandma went outside and did not take him - HOW DARE SHE?

On another note, the husband is fine. The Cingular tower near him was out which was why I could not get through. He is going to attempt to go home today and assess the damage. Best case scenario - the roof has enough damage to require a new roof on State Farm's dime but not enough to flood my shit. So let's go with that prayer, shall we?

Elizabeth at 11:34 AM


Katrina - the whore

For those of you who commented out of concern, I can't thank you enough. Mom, the pets and I made it to Memphis after an 11 hour drive. I shit you not. You have not felt frustration until you evacuate. Please pray for my husband. As a firefighter, he had to stay behind. That was rough. Any nice feelings I had about being a fireman's wife are now GONE. It sucks. I mean, I am proud of him but I would rather be not proud and not a widow. Ya feeling me? I can't get in touch with him so please say prayers. Just a quick update to let y'all know we are ok. Thanks for the nice wishes.

Elizabeth at 9:39 AM


Saturday, August 27, 2005


Well, we will be getting the fuck out of Dodge probably in the middle of the night/early morning tomorrow. We plan to go north to Vicksburg where we have some family. The only problem is the pets. I am not sure how they would feel about having my Psycho Pup at the house. I am waiting to see if I have any other options. It does look as though we are going to for sure have to leave unfortunately. I did want a day or two off work but not like this. Be careful what you ask for.

Elizabeth at 1:47 PM


Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Irony and why I hate her so

The case that I have devoted my life to over the last several weeks? The case that I am like freaking out over, almost quit over and generally think about into the wee hours of the morning? Remember that case???? It is set for mediation next week on 08/30 and 08/31. In Florida. Where a hurricane is a-comin'. That might sound nice - you know, like a nice little delay. I don't want a delay. I want the case OVER. Gone. Kaput. Not that I don't feel bad for those poor people in the panhandle of FL who will most likely get hit yet again, but frankly I am feeling more bad for me because if I have to look at, handle, talk about, hunt down or otherwise discuss a binder full of account statements for much longer, you will read about a girl in New Orleans who jumped right the fuck out the window...............holding a binder.

PS - If this case does not settle in mediation and we do go to arbitration in November, I will start pimping out my dog and cat for extra money because I will surely quit.

Elizabeth at 2:51 PM


Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Let me just put this out there.....

Most of the blogs that are linked on here get read daily. Not every single solitary day, but more often than not. I do not always comment but I would hazard a guess that I comment on each blog (assuming the writers write at least 4 to 5 times a week) at least twice a week. However, several of the people that I read have either never been to my blog (that I know of), came and were so bored by it that they don't see fit to comment, or just I don't know. This bugs me though. I know my life is hardly newsworthy. I know that I am not as funny (nor do I try to be) as some of the people I read, but I don't think I am a fucking snore either. Why does this even bother me? I know I need to get over it but for now, I am going to sulk.

Elizabeth at 6:43 PM


Monday, August 22, 2005

Call y'all kin - I'sa be turnin' over a new leaf

I have officially become white trash. I just cooked and ate a dinner of hot dogs and Kraft mac 'n cheese. That shit was good too. I might have me some tomorrow night too. All I need are some white pumps, suntan pantyhose and to marry my cousin and I am IN.

Elizabeth at 7:49 PM


Things that stress me

OK, so I am minding my own business today - just doing work for my boss who is not here. He is lying on the beach in Destin with his wife and two cute boys while I toil away here not that I am jealous - BUT I DIGRESS. Anyways, it is one of the atty's first days back after being on maternity leave. Once again, NOT JEALOUS IN THE LEAST. Digress again. Anyways, she informs me that she will be taking over the Meatball's (one of the bosses) securities cases. Why the fuck should I care? Because that is the whole reason I am looking for another job. I just can not deal with the securities anymore. My cases are small compared to the monstrosity they have currently going on. However, that does not mean that I don't hate them with every fiber of my being. Because, um, I do. Let me back track slightly. I have mentioned that I have been actively looking for other employment because I just can not take the securities anymore. I mean, they are horrible - just awful. Account statements from years back on DEAD claimants half the time and massive documents every fucking place and they all gotta be organized because, you know, sending them organized is just way too fucking hard. FUCK. OK, so if the Meatball is no longer going to be doing securities, then 80% of my problems just went away. I am still chapped that I found out they low balled me on income, but truthfully I am fine with that because I like where I work and have great benefits. I have been stressing about this because I don't want to run out of here and end up in a place that has a horrible atmosphere and never gives raises and has horrible benefits and just trade one side of miserable for another. So if the securites go away (or at least away from the Meatball) then my problems are solved and I can stay which truth be told, I want to do. I like insurance defense. I find it interesting because plaintiffs are fucking stupid and they lie lie lie their asses off. I am sorta in a quandry now. Do I continue the interview process (which I hate)? Or do I stay? I think I am going to wait it out and see if the securities are truthfully leaving my arena of work and make the call then. I hate confusion and upheaval. Makes my belly ache.

On another note, Reba pooped. Hallelujah. No spelunking in her trunk, thank God.

Weekend update: Friday night I watched "Stepford Wives" (not horrible) at home and waited for the Reba to poop. No dice. Early night. Saturday I got up and cleaned house until the husband came home from work. We then went to go see "Red Eye" which was so fucking cool. I loved it and anyone that didn't can suck my left boob. Then we went to dinner at a hibachi place with Kenny and Lynn. I had never been so it was really fucking cool. Our little chef dude was too cute and had a great personality so we will for sure be going back and asking for ya boy. Sunday was not so fun. Something freaked out on my dryer which meant that me, the husband and our 97 loads of laundry went to the laundromat. I have not been in one of those since about 9 years ago. Let me sum up - no a/c. Enough said. The rest of the afternoon was spent laying around like a slug and baking chocolate chip cookies that turned out fab. :) I may not be Martha Stewart but I would outbake Mrs. Fields without a doubt. :)

Elizabeth at 4:11 PM


Friday, August 19, 2005

Hullaballo over poop - or lack thereof

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
Update on the Fluffy butt. Basically she is most likely constipated. I am currently feeding her Fancy Feast and hoping to see some rank ass shit in her litter box later. If not, it's the barium for her. I don't want anything invading my baby girl's trunk, so let's hope she poops.

Elizabeth at 6:09 PM


Good thoughts for Fluffy Butt

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
Gotta take my little girl to the vet because she is acting a little weird in the last 12 hours or so - salivating a lot and tossing her cookies. I am not normally such a Nervous Nellie but the last time this happened, the whore had eaten a dryer sheet. No telling what she may have eaten this go round. She seems fine now but I am just a scared mama. :) Think good kitty gastrointestinal thoughts. :)

Elizabeth at 3:53 PM


Thursday, August 18, 2005

Heaven for-fucking bid my husband take a shower alone

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
Here is Gage sticking his nosy ass behind the shower curtain because he can't deal with him daddy being somewhere that he is not. Once again, MY dog, but we won't go there.

Elizabeth at 7:53 AM


Tuesday, August 16, 2005

9 layers

Stolen from Lushy

Name: SFG
Birth date: August 31, 1973
Birthplace: West Covina, CA
Current Location: New Orleans, LA
Eye Color: blue
Hair Color: Crappy pukey brown
Height: 5'4"
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Virgo

Your heritage: Irish/German/English - white bread
The shoes you wore today: black slide ons
Your weakness: Men with dimples and Reese cups
Your fears: Not having a baby and being stuck in a small spot
Your perfect pizza: Pepperoni and extra cheese
Goal(s) you'd like to achieve: Find a job that I am really happy with and feel confident about, get knocked the hell up, and someday not be in debt.

Your most overused phrase on AIM: BRB - gotta poop
Your first waking thoughts: "FUCK!!!!!"
Your best physical feature: My eyes I guess.
Your most missed memory: Feeling good in my own skin

Pepsi or Coke: Coke - tons of it
McDonald's or Burger King: Both
Single or group dates: I like single but I don't date anymore
Adidas or Nike: Whatever is on sale
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Ice tea is the drink of the devil.
Chocolate or vanilla: Are you kidding? Chocolate!!!
Cappuccino or coffee: Ick - neither

Smoke: Nope.
Cuss: Like a sailor.
Sing: In my car.
Take a shower everyday: Absolutely.
Do you think you've been in love: Yes.
Want to go to college: Already done
Liked high school: I had fun, mostly.
Want to get married: Did that too
Believe in yourself: Sometimes. I won't deny I have issues.
Get motion sickness: Rarely
Think you're attractive: I'm not a troll but I think I have looked better
Think you're a health freak: Um, no. I'd like to tell you yes, but who am I kidding?
Get along with your parent(s): Mostly.
Like thunderstorms: I love them and want one now.
Play an instrument: Nope

In the past month...
Drank alcohol: Not that I remember
Smoked: No.
Done a drug: No.
Made Out: Yes - with the husband
Gone on a date: Yes - with the husband.
Gone to the mall?: No.
Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: The chocolate icing ones -damn close
Eaten sushi: No.
Been on stage: Oh hell no
Been dumped: No.
Gone skating: No.
Made homemade cookies: No but I bought all the stuff for them
Gone skinny dipping: No.
Dyed your hair: No
Stolen Anything: Yes. There is a story about that somewhere in this blog.

Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes.
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Yes.
Been caught "doing something": Yes.
Been called a tease: Probably but it was their perception, not my actions.
Gotten beaten up: Not physically.
Shoplifted: Yes
Changed who you were to fit in: Sadly, yes.

Age you hope to be married: Already done
Numbers and Names of Children: 2 - Jake and Emma
Describe your Dream Wedding: Mine was perfect for me - on the beach in Destin with close fam and friends.
How do you want to die: Painlessly and quickly.
Where you want to go to college: already did in Pittsburgh
What do you want to be when you grow up: Able to not work.

Number of drugs taken illegally: None
Number of people I could trust with my life: I'm lucky. I have quite a few.
Number of CDs that I own: Lots
Number of piercings: Just one hole in each ear
Number of tattoos: None. Needles. Ick
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?:No clue really
Number of scars on my body: a few - mainly from the damn dog
Number of things in my past that I regret: three, maybe four.

Elizabeth at 8:51 PM


Employment - it's a muthafuckah

I am going to see a recruiter today in about 30 minutes. Please wish me luck and cross fingers and toes that I wow the fuck out of her because she has to sell me to law firms around the city. I will post more later but for now, this has to do. Just chant or do an employment dance for me because one more day in this fucking place is one God Damned day too many. Are ya feelin me?

Elizabeth at 11:59 AM



Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh, the boys are back and it ain't gonna be pretty my friends. I got to watch the Steelers give the Eagles a schooling and I loved every fucking moment of it. I love that I got to see my boy, Bettis on the field and in an interview. I love that my boys won. I love that my boys won without exerting too much effort. However, I must comment on something and then leave it alone. There is a way to do things. I know that football is a business. I know that this is a job for these men. I know that they have to "make a living." I get that. I know that their viability as a player is limited and they have to make what they can when they can make and hopefully make sound financial investment decisions so that they can live after their body can no longer stand the beating. That being said, let's talk about class, shall we? Let's start at one extreme. Hines Ward. Now I was a little bummed that my boy did not show up to camp. The Rooneys (the owners of the team) are very clear that they will not negotiate with a player that does not show up to camp. I think that's fair. I was getting a tad worried when it was week 2 and still no Hines. Several Steelers (including the all time fave of my life, Terry Bradshaw) were interviewed about their thoughts on the Hines no-show. Most of them said they had to support the player in this instance because he was doing what he had to do. I can follow that logic. But what did Hines NOT do? Well, fuck, I will tell ya. He did not blast his fellow team mates. He did not blast Coach Cowher. He did not blast the Rooneys or the Steelers organization in any way. In fact, he called Cowher a few times over these last two weeks and kept that dialogue open. He acted the way he felt he needed to but he did it with some class. He showed up yesterday to camp and will begin practice on Wednesday. He stayed last night for the game and supported his team. He admitted that the last two weeks were rough on him because he loves the game and was bummed to not be with his team practicing and getting better. Now the negotiations can start. I hope he does get more money. I think he is worth it and I think the Rooneys know that and will ante up. However, if they had buckled and given in to Ward's wishes without him showing up to camp, that sets a bad precedent. I think that both sides will end up winning on this situation. Which is always a good thing.

Let's go to the other extreme. T fucking O. I am sick to fucking death of hearing his shit. I don't want to see one more interview with him, his asswipe manager or any of them. Dude, you are one year into your contract. Yes, you are a good player. Great even. But you know what fuckwad? So are a lot of others. You had a good year and I bet you would like a bit more money. However, one year does not a great player make. So shut the fuck up about Donovan, shut the fuck up about what you deserve and how you don't want to be a distraction (yeah right) and show up like a man to training camp and talk to the owners of the team. If this dickhead was a couple years into a contract, I could see him wanting to renegotiate provided he had performed well all of those years. It's fair, ya know? To sit there on national fucking tv and CRY (THERE IS NO CRYING IN FOOTBALL) like you are this close to collecting a welfare check is just un-fucking-believeable. You are a disgrace. You are what makes professional sports a nightmare and not fun to watch sometimes. You are what drags down the rest of your team. You, T fucking O, should be cut from the team. And you know what? You have had very little interest in you from other teams. You wanna know why? Because no one wants to put up with your shit. Sometimes skills on a field are not good enough. You need skills as a human and as a man. Be a man and shut up and show up for your job, dude.

Elizabeth at 9:50 AM


Monday, August 15, 2005

Our day at the beach

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
We decided to take the Pooper to the beach. We purposely drive 2.5 hours to Fourchon because there are virtually no people and we can just let him run wild without having him going up to unsuspecting sunbathers drooling on them. He does not get that not every single human does not necessarily need to love on him. Pizza men included. He has such a good time there and I finally remembered to document his glee. I know I am somewhat partial but is he not the cutest dog EVER?

Elizabeth at 11:58 AM


Initial task to be completed....

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
Pooping in the ocean. A day would not be complete with out the Pooper pooping in the ocean. It is just going to happen. He is nothing if not charming.

Elizabeth at 11:55 AM


Paddling his ass off

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
Nothing is cuter than seeing my little Pooper doggie paddle. Seriously, the look of sheer intensity on that face with the flippy flyer in his mouth is the cutest thing EVER.

Elizabeth at 11:54 AM


Father and son

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
This dog was supposed to be my engagement gift. MY GIFT = MY DOG. He loves him some daddy though. Fucking little traitor.

Elizabeth at 11:53 AM


Happy boy

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
This was almost toward the end of our day. He was soaked and stinky and happy as could be.

Elizabeth at 11:52 AM


On the way home...

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
What a tired boy. All that running took its toll.

Elizabeth at 11:51 AM


Thursday, August 11, 2005

Yet more crap about yours truly

Stolen from Cherry who stole it from Jomama. :)

1. Nervous habits?
picking at nails, cuticles and skin on lips
2. Are you double jointed?
3. Can you roll your tongue?
You mean like a taco? no
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?
5. Can you blow spit bubbles?
6. Can you cross your eyes?
7. Tattoos?
None - too afraid of needles.
8. Piercings?
One regular peircing in each ear.
9. Do you make your bed daily?
Hell no, I can barely get out of bed daily, much less make it.


10. Which shoe goes on first?
Probably right...I have never paid attention.
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone?
Uhhhhh, no.
12. On the average, how much money do you carry?
I hardly ever have cash. If I do, its less than $20. I use my debit card for everything.
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7?
I don't wear any jewelry to sleep in but I have on my wedding ring every day
14. Favorite piece of clothing?
change into my jammies the moment I get home most days so i guess those


15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?
16. Have you ever eaten Spam?
No way.
17. Do you use extra salt on your food?
18. How many cereals in your cabinet?
1 box of Honey Nut Cheerios
19. What's your favorite beverage
Coke, hands down
20. What's your favorite fast food restaurant?
Chik Fil-A
21. Do you cook?
Rarely, if ever.


22. How often do you brush your teeth?
Always twice a day at least.
23. Hair drying method?
Dry it straight and do not do a very good job of it
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair?


25. Do you swear?
Constantly and I am fine with it.
26. Do you ever spit?


27. Animal?
Dog or cat
28. Food?
Any kind of chocolate and pizza and Mexican food.
29. Month
Not sure I have one.
30. Day?
Friday after work - the weekend stretches before me.
31. Cartoon?
Bugs Bunny
32. Shoe brand?
Whatever is cute and does not cost an arm and a leg.
33. Subject in school?
34. Color?
Blue or green
35. Sport?
Football - two days until pre-season starts. :)
36. TV shows?
Will & Grace, Law & Order, Golden Girl repeats on Lifetime
37. Thing to do in the spring?
Enjoy the outdoors, sit out on the patio, take the dog to the beach and not swelter in the heat.
38. Thing to do in the summer?
Same except I do not spend quite as much time outdoors - it's miserable here in the summer, but I try to at least sit outside after the sun is going down
39. Thing to do in the autumn?
Rejoice because it is not miserable out anymore. Take the dog to the beach once or twice before it gets too chilly
40. Thing to do in the winter?
Sit on the sofa when it is cold out and watch movies and have a nice warm afghan or blanket on me with a cup of hot chocolate


41. In the CD player?
Mariah Carey's new CD - surprisingly good.
42. Person you talk most on the phone with?
Hate the phone - I guess the husband.
43. Reading?
I am reading a book called "Suspect."
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors?
Not too often.
45. What color is your bedroom?
Walls are a light green color and the comforter is pink, white and green
46. Do you use an alarm clock?
47. Window seat or aisle?
Aisle - I pee constantly and hate having to climb over people


48. What's your sleeping position?
On my side sorta crooked because I have to share my pillow with Reba - I awake daily to cat ass
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket?
Yes, I need covers or I can't sleep.
50. Do you snore?
51. Do you sleepwalk?
52. Do you talk in your sleep?
I don't think so.
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?
54. How about with the light on?
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on?
Gotta sleep with the tv on but I set it to go off
56. Last interesting person you met
Hmmmm, that's a toughie. Will think about it and get back

Elizabeth at 3:44 PM


Wednesday, August 10, 2005


Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
(Inside the small brain of the Poop)

"What??? How am I on this bed? Mama never lets me up here. What is going on? FUCK!!! There she is - with that damn thing that flashes and blinds me. Maybe if I sit here quietly and don't move, she will never notice me."

"Fuck, I think she noticed."

Elizabeth at 10:51 AM


Tuesday, August 09, 2005

How did you know where I was?

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
Damn this bed and its sucky camoflauging ability.

Elizabeth at 9:12 PM


Weekend update, etc

Let's start with the weekend. Friday night, the inlaw's came over with sis in law, N and her two children, D&C. D&C are the two nieces who came and stayed with us a few weeks back. Had wonderful steaks cooked on the grill with mashed taters and veg and yummy bread. So my kind of meal. Hung out with them for a while which was really nice. Saturday and Sunday the husband was at the station. So Saturday morning I got up and went into work for a little while. I came home, ran a couple of errands and ended up vegging that evening. Watched "Goodfellas." I had never seen it and damn, that was some gruesome shit, but really good. Sunday I had planned to do so much of nothing that I would be a permanent fixture attached to the couch, but I ended up going to lunch with my mom. Other than that, I was a giant slug. It was nice to just chill. Since we moved, I have not had much down time especially on weekends so I really welcomed the time to chill.

Work, as I have mentioned in the past, has been a nightmare. I was lulled into a false sense of security by having a relatively good day yesterday. Then today reared its ugly head. I mean, what the fuck is it about attorneys that they fucking wait until the last fucking minute for every fucking damn thing????? I emailed a reminder to everyone that I work with to let them know that Wednesday I had to leave early in order to get the mother to the airport and that I was taking a half day off Friday basically to enjoy the time with the Hubbster while we had the chance. So do I get any last minute projects yesterday? Nope. Today I get slammed and it's always "Oh, I need this before you leave tomorrow." Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK? Is that in the first year of law school because they all do it. EVERY SINGLE ONE. It worked out ok because the major project that fell onto me today I was able to outsource the entire thing to, thank God, because there was no fucking way that shit was getting done by the time I left tomorrow. I got my trial notebook pretty much done for the other boss. While I am on the topic of him, he fucking chaps my ass too. When I email him a question, is it too damn much to ask that he read the fucking question before answering? He does that when I speak to him too. Shut up and don't talk over me and LISTEN to what I am asking before you just start off at the mouth. I mean, shit. Is that a man thing or is that a lawyer thing or is that exclusive to just him? It really annoys the fuck out of me though.

And the Meatball. Jesus God, why do I need to spoon feed shit to her? Bitch, your ass made it through law school, right? Then do your damn job. How about getting off your bulbous ass and checking in the file since clearly I am so fucking blind that I am not seeing what she insists is in there. (It's not.) I hate people that act helpless. Guess what Meatball? Being a lawyer is not all pretty suits, expensed off lunches with the client, and neat pretty desks with expensive leather accessories. It sometimes is lugging boxes, reading incredibly boring shit in a vain effort to understand it, and getting dirty with the rest of us peons who did not spend $80K only to come out making $50K. Do the math people. Does not take a rocket scientist to figure that shit don't match up.

I am just counting down until Friday at 1. I am out the door. We are going to get new licenses and then wings at Hooters (nectar of the gods) and then going to see "Skeleton Key." I am so going to enjoy myself. And no work will be done at all.

Sidenote: My husband is, at this very moment, taking my dog to Petsmart to get him a paw impression done. You know how you can get your child's hand print in clay or whatever and let it harden? Oh yeah. He is getting that done with the dog. If he shows 1/2 this much attention to our kid, then I will be happy.

Elizabeth at 6:44 PM


Saturday, August 06, 2005


Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
This is one of the few body parts that I am fairly content with. I have flat Barney Rubble type feet but I still like them and almost always have painted tootsies. Very sad that it took me a long time to find a body part that I liked enough to photograph. :(

Elizabeth at 6:39 PM


Friday, August 05, 2005

Stuff Portrait Friday - Something that causes anxiety

Something that causes anxiety
Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
I imagine this is typical - bills. I get really hepped up about bills. I know pretty much how much each one should be and when it's due and it drives me when something comes in that is unexpected because it throws a wrench in my whole system. I bought this bill organizer from Target and it is perfect for the Anal Annie that is me.

Elizabeth at 8:44 AM


Stuff Portrait Friday - Something I obsess over - Part One

Something I obsess over - Part One
Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
This is a biggie. Do you see it? The blinds are fucked up. This sends me right over the damn moon. The cats like to lay on this window seat thing and if they lay against the blinds this is what happens. I just can't get past this making me crazy. When I drive past houses whose blinds are really a mess, I am like "HOW ARE THEY LIVING?"

Elizabeth at 8:42 AM


Stuff Portrait Friday - Something I obsess over - The Sequel

Something I obsess over - The Sequel
Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
If the towels are not folded correctly, I will literally pull them out and redo them. I have issues.

Elizabeth at 8:41 AM


Stuff Portrait Friday - My horrible habit

My horrible habit
Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
I am also a biter/picker of nails and cuticles. Like Kristine, mine is totally stress related. You can gauge my current level of freaked out-ness by taking a gander at my hands. Right now they looks not so good.

Elizabeth at 8:40 AM


Thursday, August 04, 2005

Happy news

Christine of the blog "100 Reasons Why I Hate My Husband" is back. A sign that perhaps things are not as shitty as I may have thought. I am a happy girl and if anyone makes her go away again, I will get all Dirty Harry on your ass, ok?

Elizabeth at 12:11 PM


Pooper Thursday

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
In his tiny little brain:

"Surely you do not think that I just had my mouth wrapped around the cat's head, do you?"

"Oh, you do?"

"Shit............aren't I darling though?"

Elizabeth at 11:10 AM


Angry white female - Bring on the hate

I know this post will piss some people off and rub other people the wrong way but I honestly could not give less of a shit. This is my blog full of my opinions and if you don't like it, go find some PC bullshit to read on the fucking Rainbow Coalition website.

I live outside of New Orleans. Now why on earth would one live outside of New Orleans - a city that is ripe with history, tradition, fabulous food and beautiful old architecture? Because it is a fucking rat hole, that's why. Orleans Parish (we have parishes, not counties) is riddled with problems from government corruption to rampant crime. And I mean rampant. However, those of us in the suburbs thought we had the best of both worlds. I live a mere 15 minutes from downtown NO (where I work) and the French Quarter, but I am far enough away that I have a nice sized buffer zone between myself and the crime that is in our news every single damn night. Or so I thought. Recently, the crime has started to make its way across the bridge to my neck of the woods. It seemed to be a relatively slow progression and was just a shocking story here and there and the perpetrator of the crime was always from New Orleans. ALWAYS. Now it is becoming way too common. I live in a relatively small town. There is a somewhat bad section but if you mind your business while you pass through and don't hang out on the damn corner, you are normally ok even at night. Where I live is racially diverse which is fine with me. There is trash in every race. I know this because I have seen it and am related to some, ok? This is not a white/black thing. If you think it is, then suck it. But I am sick to death of this bullshit. There is a small jewelry store on the main road that runs through my town. It was robbed (or attempted to be robbed) a few weeks back. Three young black males (one drove the getaway car and is still at large) and two men entered - one dressed as an old woman. He busts his gun out of his purse and demands money. Well, guess what the owner of the business did. FUCKING PULLED OUT HIS OWN GUN AND STARTED SHOOTING. Vigilante justice? Maybe, but you know what, good for him. Maybe those fucks will think twice before fucking with his ass again. Or maybe not. This morning at around 7 AM (a time that I think most people in the world feel safe) a young Asian girl was shot and killed in a convenience store that is less than 300 feet from my husband's fire station. Now that shit is too close for comfort. What if he had been in there getting coffee or what have you? I would now be a widow at 31 and his kids would be without their dad. All because some piece of shit asswipe was not content to just take the money, but he had to show his fucking ass. Well, you know what? Fuck that. I moved here from up North with a decidedly different, much more liberal attitude than I have now. I am sick to death of working my ass off and being thankful that we can pay all of our bills and still have a little mad money to get crazy and eat dinner out. I am sick to death of seeing women with 7 children have no incentive to go out and work because why the fuck should they? The gov't makes it too damn easy to be fucking lazy. Where does this attitude come from? The attitude I am referring to is the entitlement attitude. Guess what, my friend? You are entitled to DICK. Go out and get a fucking job and shut the fuck up about how oppressed you are. Pay your fucking bills, pay your fucking child support because I am sick to death of my tax dollars being spent not on our public schools which are falling apart daily but on your stank ass.

I am tired people. Really tired. I feel so angry inside and I don't want to feel this way. This next part is really gonna piss people off but I want you to think about what I am saying. I was horrified when I first moved here at some white people's attitudes towards black people. HORRIFIED. I was right out of college (well a year out) and I was very idealistic and thought that every one deserved the benefit of the doubt and that we were all good if given half a chance. That idealistic girl has been crushed down by what? By not being able to go watch a movie at the theater nearest my house because of being so angry last time due to people screaming out at the screen, talking on their cell phones, WALKIE TALKING on their Nextel phones, and generally acting rude and very in your fucking face about everything. I am very jaded now. I never wanted to be this way but there you have it. You might think that I have crossed over to the dark side a little too easily but this is 9 years in the making. Nine years of having black girls threaten to kick my ass if I ignore them when they yell at me, nine years of having black men suck their teeth at me when I walk by and then call me a racisit bitch if I don't immediately respond in a way they like, nine years of being bullied into thinking that I somehow had done something wrong. But I haven't. I am just living my life - with my friends from all walks of life and background.

I know this might sound like I am talking in gross generalities, but that is not my intent. I have several black friends who are as horrified by the behavior of other black people as I am. How sad is that? My friend Karen has told me more than once that she is ashamed of her race more than she is proud of them. That's sad, people. And let me be clear - this is something I have encountered since coming here. I never saw things this poorly in CA or PA. Never. So I have no clue what that says about the South. It can't be a good thing though.

So for all those reasons I am thinking seriously of what I want to do with my own children when I have them. What am I going to teach them? Teach them to never use the "n" word, of course. Teach them to treat everyone they way that person treats them. And then wrap them in Kevlar, send them to school and pray I guess.

Elizabeth at 10:53 AM


Tuesday, August 02, 2005

One of those days

Have you ever had one of those days where you just don't care? About everything. I don't care about working. I don't care if I got fired tomorrow. (I would care big time when the bills started piling up.) I just am in a funk that last week I attributed to PMS but that train done left the station, ok? I mean, I am on the last day of my period and I still feel this way??? Come on. So that leads me to believe that I am just in the middle of a major funk. The last thing I want to do is work. I just want to stay home, in bed and watch bad tv. However, that can't occur. I am about ready to scream. Even when I am asked to perform the simplest task at work, I resent it. What is wrong with me? Am I on the verge of depression? I mean, the symptoms are all there - major fatigue, a total lack of interest in ANYTHING, etc. I am not sure what to do for myself or for those I am undoubtedly making miserable around me. It's not fun. Help please.

Elizabeth at 4:00 PM


A face that a mother knows hides the evil within

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
To look at this face, one would think that he does NOTHING WRONG. "I just lie here and miss my mama and daddy."

He is the spawn of Satan. In a really fluffy form.

Elizabeth at 10:28 AM


Monday, August 01, 2005

My Lifetime

Borrowing this lifetime meme from Lisa because I'm too tired and annoyed to work right now.

10 years ago: August 1995 - I just had graduated from college and had just decided to take a year off and figure out what the hell I wanted to do. Had just made the decision not to pursue law school - very traumatic for me. Thought I was such a loser - now I realize that was one of the best decisions I ever made.

5 years ago: August 2000 - one of the worst months of my life. The relationship with my now husband had just exploded despite couple's counselling. I won't go into details.

1 year ago: Planning the wedding, just starting to be a paralegal and scared that I was doing stuff wrong. Still feel like that most days.

Yesterday: Got up with the nieces, ran them home, ran a couple of errands, came home and worked a little and then hit the bed.

Today: Working and seriously giving thought to my career options. Going home tonight to do a little more work on a depo summary.

Tomorrow: Work and not too much else. :)

5 snacks I enjoy: Chocolate, chips and salsa, cookies, licorice, and ice cream

5 bands that I know the lyrics of MOST of their songs: Dixie Chicks, The Police, The Go-Gos, The Supremes, and the Commodores

5 things I would do with $100,000,000: Pay off all our debt, get the vasectomy reversed, buy my mother her own home, set up trusts for the kids, go on one hell of a vacation

5 locations I’d like to run away to: Myekanous, Greece; Maui, Savannah, Venice, Tuscany

5 bad habits I have: I bite/pick at my nails and cuticles, I tend to judge things too quickly, can be very lazy at times, I don't let things go, and I worry way too much about other stupid crap

5 things I like doing: Reading, watching movies, playing with my dog, going to the beach, and having people over the house for dinner

5 things I would never wear: Fur, anything form fitting, thong bikini, anything that even resembles shit from the 70's and 80's, and pants hanging so low that my drawers stick out

5 TV shows I like: Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, Law & Order: SVU, Celebrity Fit Club 2, and Being Bobby Brown (train wreck - trust me)

5 movies I like: Gone With The Wind, Rear Window, Legally Blonde, You've Got Mail, Steal Magnolias.

5 famous people I’d like to meet: Terry Bradshaw, Jerome Bettis, my dad's mom, Bill Cowher and Lenny Kravitz

5 biggest joys at the moment: owning my first home, the pooper, birthday is almost here!!!!, work load is not as horrible as it has been, and enjoying time with the fam

5 favorite toys: laptop, the flippy frisbee that my dog plays with at the beach, not sure what else

5 People to tag: Nessa, Danielle, Sherry, Torrie, and Spurious. (If y'all have done this already, then no biggie - I was having a hard time remembering who had done it.)

Elizabeth at 11:38 AM


Incognito kitty

Originally uploaded by alexiecfo.
She loves to lay in the bathroom - I guess because lack of other pet traffic. I love how pets think that if they can't see you, then clearly they themselves are invisible. She is so damn cute.

Elizabeth at 7:23 AM