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Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I had no clue

Did you know that if you have headphones in your ears in a vain attempt to hear a doctor so you can transcribe what he says and you are chomping on Cheez-Its, the noise made by your mastication is so damn loud, you have to jack up the volume on the headphones thereby rendering you deaf for about 15 minutes?



Elizabeth at 12:38 PM


Saw III, and skeeters and chemo, oh my!

I am still having issues with the all encompassing fatigue. It's big fun. Of course, one could make the argument that if I took better care of myself, a lot of this would be gone on its own, but whatever. My weekend was rather calm. Saturday after I finished working, mom and I drove to my friend Karen's house for a Halloween block party. It was not the most exciting but I got to visit with Karen which is almost good for a few laughs. Sunday, I got up and went to mass like a good genuflector and then came home to clean the house and steam clean the carpets. I am a month behind on that, by the by. I do it every 3 months because of the animals. I got that all done while watching the Saints game and before the Steelers embarassed themselves in Raiders country. The rest of the day I chilled out really. Yesterday I got up and went to go get the flowers for all of the graves since Wednesday is All Saints Day. Spent a small fortune on that. Then, once the hubs got home, we went and put fresh flowers on all the graves while I got even more mosquito bites than I had gotten while down at Karen's. The grass around all the graves was all cut down because apparently the mayor had sent people out to do it which was really nice, I thought. All the graves had fresh paint too which really cut down on our work. Thank goodness. We got home, hubs changed and then we did a super quick date night of din din and Saw III. Loved that flick. LOVED IT. I will be buying it the MOMENT it comes out. Jigsaw did not disappoint.

Yesterday was dad's first chemo treatment. He did really well thus far. Now today he might feel like something scraped of the foot of a meat packer, but at least last night when I spoke to him, his spirits were good. I am very grateful for that.

Well, I have to start work in 35 minutes so I am gonna go at least blow dry my hair since that is the only thing besides a shower that I do to make myself presentable on days such as today. Happy trick or treating, kiddos!


Elizabeth at 10:16 AM


Monday, October 30, 2006

Sore loser over in these here parts

Shut UP. OK OK, I did agree to do this damn list for my girl, Kristine, about why the Raiders rock the Casbah. I am even doing a little 'net research because my knowledge of what makes the Black and Silver great is limited at best.

So here is my list.

1. The Raiders are cool because I dig them thar uniforms. In a league that allows some ugly ass shit like they have in Cincy or Miami (I'm sorry but grown reportedly straight men do NOT wear teal), at least black and silver looks bad ass.

2. They snagged Aaron Brooks from the Saints. Who promptly got hurt. Hehehehehehe. Sorry, but I think Aaron Brooks is one of the saddest pieces of QB meat in the league. Be glad he's hurt, Kris.

3. They have players named Adimchinobe, Nnamdi and Fabian.

4. Their fans have reached new levels of frightening. I think that perhaps that is the only team whose fans I would not taunt. I don't want my car turned over.

5. Warren Sapp, although annoying, is a great DT. Even I can admit that.

6. They managed, although if one were to even glance at the stats it looked as though the Steelers should have won easily, to take advantage of 2 interceptions in the first 3 possessions by my boys. I won't even go into how I am gonna kick Ben in his titanium steel jaw if I ever see him.

7. Their next two games are against the Seahawks and Denver. If y'all can embarass them as well, I might hate begin the process of hating you less.

8. There is no one on your team names Terrell Owens - that's big props right there.

9. At least the Raiderettes are cute. Have you taken a gander at the Saintsations? Hi, Alpo country.

10. And the final, and perhaps most important reason, why I am giving props to the Raiders........


Congrats, Kristine. It sucks that we won, but I am glad you got a cool Sunday out of it. :)


Elizabeth at 9:06 AM


Sunday, October 29, 2006

Fuckity fuck shit piss

Why don't y'all tell me to shut the fuck up more often?

Oh, right.
I don't listen.

Anyways, now I have to (of my own doing) make a list of why the Raiders rock the Casbah because either Cowher thought he was playing against high schoolers or else he still is losing brain cells from 2 concussions in 4 months.

The list is coming, Kristine. Promise.


Elizabeth at 9:13 PM


Saturday, October 28, 2006

I'm sorry - wait.....what?

Last night, I caught the first 5 minutes or so of the news. Now, y'all know I don't like me some news because it's the same thing over and over and frankly, I am sooooo okay with not being well-informed. I know that Britney's kid has a real name and that is beyond enough for me.

So, seeing the first news story was a pure accident. You see, I live in Jefferson Parish. Parish being I guess the equivalent of a county in a NORMAL state. For those of you that are unfamiliar, let me school ya briefly. Several years back, there was a phenomenon in the New Orleans area called (and no, I am not joking) the "White Flight." What that was, in brief, was a mass migration on the part of the white residents of Orleans parish fleeing Orleans parish. Why would they do that, you might ask? Well, take a gander at some Katrina coverage and the peeps carrying big screen tvs down Canal Street (to plug into WHAT, I don't know) and perhaps you will have some idea of the prevalent feeling down here in the Big Not-so-Easy. So, whitey took off. First, he landed in Jefferson Parish. Well, that was not far enough bitches. In the ensuing years, the crackers have moved across the lake in droves and into the river parishes just to get some peace and quiet and the ability to allow their children to play outside without being in fear of their lives. My parish of Jefferson is still liveable. Most of it is, however there are portions that have slid slowly downhill and have picked up that downward speed since Katrina because guess where a shitten ton of those Orleans parish residents who needed a place to plop their FEMA trailers ended up? Oh you guessed it, bitches. In my figurative backyard.

So last night, our sheriff, Harry Lee was on the tube sitting next to a rep from the NAACP because he was in trouble yet again. This man has the uncanny ability to put his rather large foot in his mouth at least every other week. When I first moved here with my very liberal ideals (yep, I was like big time, tree huggin' give peace a chance liberal) I referred to him as Chairman Mao. I mean, he just seemed to be abrasive and just over the top with his paranoia.

Now, not so much.

You see, his current transgression was the idea he proposed (that came from one of his own deputies - we shall get to that later) to just randomly pull over and question any African American young male in a sketchy neighborhood.

Whoa, you say. What is this? Racial profiling? What the hell? He can't do that. He is just a giant racist in a cop's uniform (not something we have not seen before - Hi, Mark Fuhrman.) However, and this is a big giantical however, guess who came up with this idea? Oh, just hazard a guess, would ya?

An African American deputy for the JPSO. Oh yeah. And his response? "It is not racial profiling if the statistics back you up."

Oh he went there, bitches. The statistics to which he is referring is that 85% of the violent crime that has seized upon Jefferson Parish since Katrina the Whore has been young black male on young black male. So, one could make the argument (as Harry tried) that the proof is in the puddin, so to speak. The only way to curb this violence is to perhaps nip it in the bud.

But no, the interest groups are right there to make sure that no rights are violated. And normally, I am all for that. I don't want to be harassed any more than anyone else does. But you know what, if a cop pulls me over for some dipshit reason (has happened too), then fine. I have nothing to hide other than a sick amount of dog hair in my car.

However, as these things always do, this plan has been scrapped because heaven for-fucking-BID someone gets offended. Frankly, I am tired of worrying about offending someone when I don't even feel safe going to our local movie theater at night. How is that shit for offensive?

Harry's comments at the end of the press conference were something along the lines of hey, let them fucking kill each other. I can live with that. Perhaps without the cursing, but you get my drift. It's sad that it has come to this, but here it is. Here it shall continue to be until we, as a community, get tired of being scared. I just hope that the time comes before I have to raise a child in this madness.

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Elizabeth at 11:50 AM


Thursday, October 26, 2006

SPF - Squoooooooshy stuff

Kristine, the HAB, the RAIDERS FAN, is too busy over there feeling herself up so she gave us a super easy SPF. I am actually playing tonight because I love nothing more than to give a Raiders fan some shit. She wants to see:
-Our potholders
-Our pumpkins
-Something pink

Here goes nuthin....

My fall potholder. Yes, I have a fall potholder. That sound you hear? That's Kami making fun of me.

The potholds that do the actual work. And yes, they are holiday related. Shut. UP.

My pumpkins. They do light up and look all scary and stuff. However, it's daytime. I have not gotten a pumpkin to carve yet. That's tomorrow, bitches.

This is my something pink. No, not Reba herself. Her tiny, cute little button nose. The rest of her grew, she got less red, the gunk cleared out of her eyes (she had constant eye infections as a wee kitten), she no longer pees on me while I sleep, but her tiny pink nose never changed. I loves me some her.

Now, go tell the HAB is you played. Oh, and Kristine, I know Ben took a shot to the head. Again. I know Hines Ward is dropping passes right and left. I know Polamalu has not been heard from NEARLY like he should. I know Willie Parker insists on running up the middle despite the fact he runs into a wall of a defensive line every damn time. I KNOW ALL THIS.

We will still beat y'all.


Elizabeth at 11:16 PM


Grey's is pissing this girl right off

A repeat. 4 weeks into the new season. Oh wait, not just one but 2 repeats.

I have no words.


Elizabeth at 11:00 PM


Book #50 - PS I love you by Cecelia Ahern

I actually started this book a while back and did not come back to it until I finished my two prior reviews. The main character's husband just died. She of course thought that she would spend the rest of her days with him, but he ended up with a brain tumor and she left her job to take care of him. Upon his death, she finds out that he left 10 different envelopes for the next 10 months with her parents. Inside each envelope, which she is not to open until the first day of the designated month, her hubs assigns her some task that he thinks will enable her to go on with her life and help her cope with her grief. It could be very sad in places, but honestly I think it portrayed grief in a very real way. She did not suddenly snap her fingers, find a new man and a new job and all was ducky. She had her good days where she thought that she would just about get through this and then other days, good job or not, that she just flat did not want to get out of bed.

I reviewed another book by this author called Rosie Dunne. I recommend them both. You can pick either of them up at the Big Red Bullseye that we all know and love.

I am pumped that I actually made this goal of 50 books in a year. I am still reading so I imagine I'll just see how many I end up with by the end of December. Granted I am hardly reading great works of fiction, but I figure that every moment I spend with a book in hand is one less that I am staring blindly at the tv and that's always a good thing.


Elizabeth at 2:11 PM


Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Splain to me.....

I am so damn tired. Like I go to bed and have lights out generally by 10, am asleep generally by 11 at the latest, wake up between 7 and 8. I have no kids. I work normally 40 hours per week. I have no commute, no prep time in the morning (if I choose to just shower and stay looking like a bum). I have no bosses breathing down my neck. However, at any given time over the course of just about every single day, I could lay down and take quite the power snooze.

Advice? Insight? Jokes to make me giggle thereby giving my abs a much needed workout?


Elizabeth at 4:54 PM


Sunday, October 22, 2006

A PSA since they are so popular

To the fucktard who deigns to visit the trampy teenage girl across the street,

You drive an S-10. An S fucking 10. And you are a suburban white boy. Not Tupac. AND this is not the lower 9th ward (what all of you were looking at on the news that got the shit flooded out of it).

So guess what, fucknut?

The thumping??? The incredibly loud, vibrates my entire house, is so fucking loud that I can not hear the dictation I am trying to transcribe in the back bedroom, really God damn fucking annoying thumping?

Yeah, you can quit that shit any any God damn time. Seriously, you can. It won't hurt your "street cred."

Know why?

You have none.

Fucking Big Ben just got hurt. Damn Atlanta. I hate them. Of course, they got a shitten ton of our piece of shit evacuees, so neener neener.

(Sorry Houston....smooches.)

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Elizabeth at 3:11 PM


Friday, October 20, 2006

Book #49 - The Starter Wife

I made brief mention of this book back on a prior SPF when talking about the husband's ex. He needed a practice marriage before he could take on the likes of me, bitches.

Anyway, this book was pretty quick to read. It is written by the wife of Brian Grazer, the famous producer. So if anyone knows the ins and outs of Hollywood marriages, it would be her.

The main character, Gracie, is unceremoniously dumped by her studio head hubs, Kenny. She ends up moving into the famous Colony of Malibu into a house that is owned by a friend who will be out of town for the summer. So she and her daughter pick up shop and move to the beach from Rockingham (street name sound familiar???? think OJ.) Her life begins to sink at first, but then of course, she finds the person she used to be before she was sucked into the vortex of Hollywood and caring about stupid shit.

In short, a good read - especially when you have an afternoon or two to yourself. Would go fab with a margarita.

Oh, and has anyone else heard that OJ is being paid several million bucks for his account of the murders???? Should he have an account being that he claims to not be there? Oh, the best part - the tentative title.

"If I Did It."

I shit you not.

Why has someone not taken his ass OUT?


Elizabeth at 10:17 PM


Thursday, October 19, 2006

Stupid pop up thing that is pissing me off

***EDITED TO ADD*** I don't think omitting the picture helped. Any ideas?

I think I figured out what the fuck that was. When I stole the pic of Ugly Betty for a post a while back, I think the damn internet fucked with my blog. I hope it's gone now. Damn thing. Let me know if it's not.

FYI - Gage is right behind me in the throes of a dog-asm because he managed to find just the right spot on his ear to itch. He emitted this rather gutteral, low pitched moan of ecstacy. I wish my life was that simple.

Elizabeth at 5:44 PM


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Question for the masses, part deux

How badly can one fuck up one's dog by singing the following:

"Him name is Pooper...
Him is a bad dog"

To the tune of Copacabana?

Hmmmm, that bad, huh?

Damn it.

Three years ago today, a very bad dog came into my life and has made it a messier, but way better place to be. If Blogger was not being a whore, I would post a picture of him sleeping again.

We also make him do the bunny hop.

Don't tell Carrie or else she will call the local chapter of the SPCA. She has pull like that.


Elizabeth at 12:33 PM


Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Funkdified weather, anniversary and the Grudge II

Hi, I'm not dead. Just busy. The hubs and I went out for a nice din din on Saturday night at Ruth's Chris to celebrate our anniversary. We made 2 years without any stab wounds to the neck. I consider that special. We stopped off at the Barnes on the way home because we be all wild and crazy like that. Sunday, we both slept later than usual (read: past 7) and went to church. I normally do lunch with my chica, Karen, but she had to bow out. Something about a huge sale and she had to go. So we finished church, drove to Baton Rouge because I wanted to check out the Ashley furniture warehouse because I am going to be rid of this sectional if it kills me. We found a couch and love chair and a half combo that we both liked. Now we just need to cough over the money. We probably won't buy for a little bit, but I wanted to check out that store to see if it was even worth my time to make the drive again. Being that we were so close and not at all because I really wanted to go, we drove a couple exits down to let me rub myself up on Kohls for a while. I managed to score a couple Xmas presents. Right on. We came home and chilled the rest of the night. Yesterday was our actual anniversary. We hung out and watched the Grudge II. Now y'all know I love me some horror movies, but as we all know, sequels can go either way. This one was not bad. Sarah Michelle Gellar was only in it ever so briefly, but still pretty good. It will end up in my horror collection at some point.

The weather is just ick. Yesterday was so windy and HUMID. Last night it started raining HARD. I got up to walk the Pooper this morning and it was sorta spit raining and as you know, the Pooper - him no likey rain dripping on his head. So we came back. I go back to work today but the hubs is still off. Nothing exciting. However, I plan to watch the part of Dancing with the Stars tonight to check out what the HELL happened with poor Sara Evans. I have been a fan for a while now and that poor thing's husband sounds like quite the asswipe. I hope he is not exactly as bad as portrayed. However, the reports seem to have taken the allegations straight from the divorce papers, so who knows?

That's my exciting life. How is yours?

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Elizabeth at 8:58 AM


Friday, October 13, 2006

Proof positive that God loves him some SFG

Just read an article that says if you sleep more, you will lose weight.


Love it.

Now if we can somehow find a link between eating Hooters wings while screaming at the tv during a football game while barking at John Madden to "shut the fuck up already" and thin thighs, I'll be all good.


Elizabeth at 12:10 PM


Dad's surgery

He ended up having his carotid artery surgery last evening after all. The doctors pumped him full of antibiotics and decided to give it a whirl. Apparently this side was way worse than the other so they have more to de-gunk and had to go higher up the neck. From what I understand, the one doctor saw how bad it was and wanted to close him back up and go back in today. Dr. Vaughn, the vascular surgeon, said "No, we are going to do this tonight if it takes until midnight. These people need to get on with their lives." Well, God bless him.

Oh, and how did I find out about the surgery? Yes, how indeed.

It could not possibly be that I found out totally by accident when I called and talked to my sister who is down visiting them, right? I mean, surely it's not that I was just never called, right? This time it was not just me who was excluded - my brother had no clue either. In such a stressful time, I hate to make snap decisions and judgments, but my step-mother is dangerously close to doing irreparable harm to our relationship. I am trying to keep holding on to the idea that she is just not thinking, but that is getting harder to do with each slight.

Anyways, he came though fine and is resting today. I shall be calling him later for sure.

Tonight I am having dinner with a friend from my old firm. I hope it is a nice quiet evening and no long wait at the restaurant or anything like that. Waits are no bueno.


Elizabeth at 9:39 AM


Thursday, October 12, 2006

My new favorite shows

OK, I realize that the plot is a bit cheesy, the acting a bit forced, but I just love this chick.

When her hair is redone in Queens style and the construction workers whistle at her, she is so cute and sincere when she grins with her giant braces "Me??? Thanks!!!"

I heart her.


Elizabeth at 8:39 PM


Dude, shut up already.

  • T.O. frustrated with role
  • Labels:

    Elizabeth at 4:09 PM


    Coolness yet again

    Just got a package from Kate (you know her as TBG). She sent me the cutest frame - almost like she knew I was a picture whore. Love it. Plus I got a veritable plethora of animal treats for the other whores in the house. I think the Pooper got a whiff because he is currently sitting right next to my desk with his eyebrows all up and cute-like with his very top-notch begging face. Meanwhile, the treats are over in the box on the counter. Mmmmhmmmm, cute and yet not that bright.

    The best part is that she had the frame wrapped up in a bag from the Big Red Bullseye. Am I the only one who has discovered that when you cut up the bullseyes from the bag that they make FANTASTIC pasties?

    Oh really?

    Just me, huh?

    Well, now y'all have a project. It even clearly shows you where the tassel should go.

    Thank you chica!!!!!

    Elizabeth at 3:21 PM


    Wednesday, October 11, 2006

    Better, but still hard

    Dad was supposed to have his second carotid artery surgery today. It got cancelled because the lab work came back that his white cell count was too high. Well, duh dipshits, he has cancer. However, the anesthesiologist let it slip to step-mama that his white count is exactly what it was when they performed the other surgery. Um, yeah. Perhaps not info that said anesthesiologist should have told my step-mom because that gave her the necessary shove to piss her the fuck off. She takes a lot of shit and both she and my dad will bend backwards 18 times to accomodate everyone else, but I guess this finally lit a fire under her ass and she let the doctor have it. I say good for her. Doctor Fuckhead is lucky I am not there. He'd have known the true definition of bitch with a large vocabulary with which to use curse words effectively and with great verve.

    Dad is in fab spirits. I am glad for that. It just makes me sad that he is there all by himself in an icky sterile (let's hope) hospital room. Granted, my step mom stayed until late but still. Dad does not do well by himself. Case in point, step mom went to Europe with her mom and sister one year. I thought my sister and I were going to have a race to see who offed the old man first because he took to standing at the bottom of our stairs going "Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllllllllsssssss, what are you doing? I'm loooooooooooooooooooooooooooonley."

    I shit you not.

    Granted, he meant it in jest and got a sick thrill of annoying the ever-loving shit out of his teenage daughters who would have sooner worn parent approved clothes than hang with the Dad for the night. But I was thinking about that tonight after I got off the phone with him. He truly does not like being alone. He hates it in fact.

    If you hear of a man in Arizona being committed because he stood outside his hospital room in his back open gown flashing what I can only assume is old man ass to the world yelling "Nurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrses, what are you doing? I'm borrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrred," yeah, that's my Dad.

    Are you beginning to understand the layer upon layer of dysfunction from which I sprung forth?

    Yeah, thought so.


    Elizabeth at 10:49 PM


    Monday, October 09, 2006

    The reason hell froze over - SFG is speechless

    Y'all know what? Y'all be like all the best and shit. I had a craptastic weekend - as you know. I felt a lot better yesterday and today and then I decided to do some surfing through some blogs today since I had a relatively easy uneventful day. I was making my way through some of my faves and I find out that Celebrating Women made me the blogger of the month. I was shocked and probably said something really eloquent like "Whoa, thanks." Yeah, I'm good like that with words and shit.

    THEN, tonight I got an email from Shell from over at Shell's Thoughts who asked for my address and not even to stalk me!!!!! It turns out that the beautiful piece of jewelry she is currently working on is for ME. It's a rosary because I am going through the RCIA. Rather than wait until I eat the holy wafer for the first time, she wants to send it early because I have been having a rough go of it.

    This may not say much for my friends that are here in the flesh (or it says LOADS about y'all) but the peeeps out there in the blog world have done more for me in the last year than several real life people that I deal with day to day. Let us not forget that over a year ago, Torrie took up a collection for me and Amanda B. (who is very zen, btw) because we both were displaced by Hurricane Katrina the whore. Seriously, who does that? Well, y'all do that, obviously.

    When I have truly lost all faith in the fabulousity and coolness of the general population, y'all have always never failed to exceed my expectations that there are, indeed, some cool ass chicas out there.

    So thanks....thanks to Torrie...thanks to Sheri and Suzan.....thanks to Shell....thanks to all of you. Y'all have all been better friends to me than I've had in a while.

    Damn, for being speechless, I am long-fucking-winded.

    Elizabeth at 8:56 PM


    Book #48 - Fourplay by Jane Moore

    Very cute book. Main character was Jo. She is a wife to Jeff and mother to Thomas and Sophie. She finds out that her hubs has been cheating on her with his secretary, whom she refers to as The Cliche. He leaves her and the kids to take up with Candy. Yeah, I am not kidding about that name. Initially her life just falls apart, but Jo realizes she has to get her shit together and move on with life. She ends up having a total of 4 men biding for her attention by the end of the book...hence the title. Her hubs was one (I guess Candy was not all she was cracked up to be), Conor, a friend of her brothers, Martin, a rich media mogul, and Sean, a man she takes up with quite seriously only to find out he is married, but still professing love for her. Yeah, hi. Talk about drama. Lordy.

    I loved the book. I read it in about 4 or 5 days when I had the time. I am finding that on work days (Tues thru Sat) I honestly do not have the heart to read. I have stared at a computer screen for 8 hours listening and comprehending medical jargon, so at the end of the day, I am sorta toast. That is why I don't blog as much (other than all the other life stuff going on). Just the thought of like using my brain is a no go some days.

    Anyways, the book is a goodie. Light, but not so fluffy that you don't give two shits about the characters. I say give it a whirl.


    Elizabeth at 6:20 PM


    The difficulty of family

    ***EDITED TO ADD***
    I just went over to Celebrating Women's blog and found out I am their blog choice for the month. What a wonderful treat. I am really thankful. Clearly, saying "fuck" more than any other word does not disqualify a person.

    Dealing with my husband's family is the biggest source of stress in our marriage. Other than that, we fight almost never - of course, stupid little tiffs here and there. However, when we do have an almight throwdown it is inevitably because of something going on with them and my response to it.

    You see, here is the thing. I love my husband but he has his faults, one of those being an utter lack of confrontational ability and the balls to go with that. So when someone treats me like shit, one may think that with such a huge hulk of a man in my corner, that he puts the veritable smackdown on said person, right?

    Um, not so much. He will tell me to not worry about it and move on. Lovely advice, but when I have made it clear to him that I expect him to take up for me when confronted with the complete hatred and disrepect that I receive and he opts to take the chickenshit way out, it tends to make a girl get a bit testy.

    Truth be told that because of outside forces, we are unable to leave this place. My hubs job is here. We have a mortgage where if we sold tomorrow, we'd make no profit. Those two things make it a bit difficult to pull up stakes and settle in a different town far far far away from the constant negativity in my life. I know that by doing that, I'd be giving in to them and allowing them to dictate my life but guess what? I don't care. If there was a way to do it, I'd be gone. My sanity has to be worth something, right? Let them think what they want about us leaving.

    Alas, that is not to be the case. I have to tough it out here. I am trying to make my peace with that. I know deep down that all I can do is try to live my life and own my own small piece of happiness. That is way easier said than done though.

    I have thought to myself that if I had known all that lay ahead for me when the hubs and I first got involved, would I still be here? Would I have stayed? Honestly, that answer changes day to day. I'd say that 80% of the time, my answer is a resounding yes. But then, on those days during that really bad 20%, my honest and truthful answer is no. I'd run for the damn hills. It is hard to be optimistic when we have had to battle for every little thing we have. And I do mean every FUCKING THING. I am thinking back on the past 9 years and really nothing that matters to us springs to my mind as having been a relatively easy thing. Nothing. That gets tiring, ya know? It drains my well of goodwill.

    I have sought solace in church. But all of this makes me question what good that is doing? I have prayed in every service, every RCIA class, nights in bed before sleep.....I prayed for peace. I prayed not to hate these people. I have prayed to find some forgiveness for them and for myself. More than anything, I pray for peace of mind. Peace in my heart. Peace in my life. It has yet to come. It is a struggle every day. I do not go even one day without thinking of these events and circumstances that make me so unhappy. Some days it comes in my brain and leaves not long after. Other days, it takes over. It seeps into every section of my day....leaving poison all over.

    I guess instead of praying for the peace to come, I should pray for strength. Strength for me. For my marriage. For my husband. I hope that I get a better result. I need to know that someone is out there listening and that there is a reason for all of this.

    Elizabeth at 3:18 PM


    Saturday, October 07, 2006

    Perhaps at some point I'll learn my lesson

    Guess what, girls? We are in this world alone. I realize that over and over and then I get all stupidly optimistic and think it will all be okay and then, yep, kicked in the teeth again.

    Well, guess what dear family (that's sarcasm) and dear friends, I will handle my life and business and you handle yours and never the tween shall meet.

    I regret the day I moved to this hellhole of a state.


    Elizabeth at 8:08 PM


    Friday, October 06, 2006

    Surprising development

    I am consumed by hatred for that bitch. I seriously hope she fucking dies. I could not give two shits who would be orphaned by it either.

    Die bitch.

    I hope a steam roller comes and takes you and your camel toe right out.

    Oh, and 1978 called, the Farrah do is so OVER.

    Elizabeth at 1:33 PM


    Preparing me for motherhood

    OK, before I even start, just fucking save all your comments like "Well, that's you mom and you should just go" and "You sound like a rude daughter." Just fucking save it, ok?

    I am so God damned tired of running all over the fucking place. That is all I do. I work FROM HOME. That means my car time should be down to a minimum. However, the hubs works so fucking much that he is never here to pick up the slack. EVER. The agreement was when I got this job that if he was available, (ha ha, yeah right) he would schlep my mother around to her various things in order that I could have a day off here and there. Let me tell you how that worked out.


    I know all you moms bust your ass working and then keeping a house and then dragging the kids to their various obligations while trying to have a life of your own. I get that. But guess what? I don't have fucking kids. Shouldn't my time be MY DAMN TIME? Should I not be able to have a modicum of privacy? Well, I fucking don't. My mother barges into whatever room she feels like. I close my bedroom door when I go to take a shower and she will just stroll on through like "hi." Not that I gave two craps about her seeing this Venus-like bod I got going on, but FUCK. GET OUT. I want 3 damn minutes (THREE MINUTES THAT I AM NOT WORKING) to not have someone in my face. I need to go here. When can we do this? This doctor's appt is this day. I know you just went to the grocery, but I need this. (That one fires me up the most.) I don't fault the hubs for working. I know that he picks up all this OT because, ya know, we kinda got used to like electricity and food and shit. We be all crazy like that. But, muthafuckah, I am so fucking tired of doing everything else. If this is even half as bad as what it is like to be a mother (granted, I don't get to deal with snotty noses and projectile vomit) then I am getting my damn tubes tied in a double knot. Nothing gets done in this house unless I do it. NOTHING with the exception of grass cutting and pool maintenance.

    Hey, other two people who live in this house????? Pick up a damn sponge. I promise you - they don't bite. And guess what? I have a job too.


    Elizabeth at 12:16 PM


    Thursday, October 05, 2006

    Stolen from Patti Cake

    13 Random Things You Like:

    1) Sunsets
    2) Time with the hubs
    3) Watching Reba saunter her fat cat self around the house until she sees Gage and then she does the bitch meow and runs her fat self back to my room.
    4) Fall weather
    5) My job. Thank you Jeebus for that one.
    6) A cold room and a warm bed
    7) Pizza
    8) Comfy shoes that look cute too.
    9) The Beach
    10) Reading a really good book
    11) Pay Day
    12) For someone, when they get me a gift, to put forth effort and show that they really took some time to consider my tastes.
    13) Surprises

    12 Movies

    1) Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
    2) Legally Blonde
    3) What Lies Beneath
    4) Steel Magnolias
    5) Halloween
    6) Saw and Saw II
    7) Pretty in Pink
    8) The Breakfast Club
    9) Murder by Numbers
    10) Abandon
    11) Jeepers Creepers - it's a frickin classic, okay? Don't judge me.
    12) Rear Window.

    10 things about me

    1) I am actually a super nice girl who comes off as such a fucking bitch.
    2) Since knowing my cute FIL, I now recognize how fucking hilarious and cute most old men are.
    3) I hope I really get over some things, but I don't see it coming any time soon.
    4) I like my pets more than most people.
    5) I believe in God
    6) I wish I could lose at leat 20 lbs.
    7) It took me being broken up from the hubs for 3 years for me to realize that he was the one for me.
    8) I really admire my Father. He is a pain in the ass, but works hard and expects others to do the same..
    9) I really can't wait to be pregnant.
    10) I am thankful for my life.

    9 People You Talked to Yesterday

    1) Hubs
    2) Mom
    3) Karen
    4) Dad
    5) Step-mom
    6) Father Mike
    7) Supervisor via email. Does that count?
    8) No one else.
    9) I work at home. No fussing at me.

    8 Favorite Foods

    1) Pizza
    2) Cheese
    3) McDonald's Fries - although I have not had one pass my lips in almost a year.
    4) A really great steak cooked on the grill.
    5) Asparagus.
    6) Chicken parmigiana
    7) My own chocolate chip cookies. I am Mrs. Freaking Fields, mmmmkay?
    8) Anything chocolatey.

    7 Things You are Wearing

    1) Underpants
    2) Shorts
    3) T-shirt
    4) Bra
    5) Ear phones for work
    6) Make up
    7) Crap so my hair won't frizz

    5 Things You Touch Everyday

    1) The Pooper. Mind out of the gutter please.
    2) Reba.
    3) The hubs if he is home.
    4) My remote.
    5) My keyboard

    4 Shows You Watch

    1) Desperate Housewives
    2) Grey's Anatomy
    3) Y&R
    4) SVU

    3 Favorite Actors/Actress

    1) Robert DeNiro.
    2) Marcia Cross
    3) Jack Nicholson

    2 Most Recent People You've kissed

    1) Hubs.
    2) Hubs. I am not a big kisser as a greeting.

    One Person You Could Spend Your Life With
    1) Hubs if he plays his cards right.

    Steal if you want. I don't feel like tagging.


    Elizabeth at 1:11 PM


    Quote of the day

    "I am so black my pussy tastes like menthol."

    - As stated by a skanky white girl on Flavor of Love on VH1.

    You don't get no classier than that right there.


    Elizabeth at 12:25 PM


    Wednesday, October 04, 2006

    Question for the masses

    Am I the only person who purchases Halloween candy early under the guise of having it here and available and in a lovely assortment, donchaknow, and then eat 1/2 of said stash before October 31 even rolls around? I need to start purchasing candy made out of brocolli. I'd so not be tempted.

    Elizabeth at 2:04 PM


    Tuesday, October 03, 2006

    More to say than just bitching.....ok, there is SOME bitching.

    I am sitting here watching season 1 of the Sopranos. Yep, I'm the one - the only person who has yet to watch the damn show. It's pretty darn good. As much as I love the gooks, the WOPs got the better food. Ya feelin me?

    Things with Dad have gotten a bit more serious. I really don't feel like talking/writing about it, so let's just say that. I am going to try to get up there maybe next month. I wanna see him.

    The good news is that Kohls opened in BR-town. That's Baton Rouge for you Yanks. LOLOL. It was beautiful. And here is the best part, the stupid schlubs in BR don't understand how fabulous Kohls is because here in the dirty south, they are brainwashed since birth to love Walmart. I got some amazing deals and will be going back to do some major Xmas shopping and to purchase more holiday decor. They had a beautiful Xmas display with tons of ornaments and tabletop displays that I am so gonna scoop up. I so love to decorate. Most of my fall stuff is up and out, but I did get a few more things. Love it. Man, I love me some Kohls. Made my whole damn weekend.

    My anniversary is coming up. We had planned to go away but now with the Pops the way he is, I don't feel comfortable spending money on a trip anywhere other than to Phoenix to see him. So instead the hubs took off and we will have a nice dinner and just spend time together. That is also the opening weekend of the Grudge II and y'all know I love me some horror. And then Saw III is coming out. That is almost orgasmic. I mean, Lordy, what's a girl to do?????

    Oh, by the way, the house is about 70% clean. The bathroom and kitchen are totally spotless, the house is vacuumed, and I made a lasagna. I just have to dust my room, the office, and living room and I'll be good. The blinds could use a good dusting too come to think of it. And the windows too. Damn, guess I have more to do than I thought. Oh well. At least if someone comes over, it won't gross them out.

    Well, I figured I'd update since I have not had much to say lately. It looks like this dude is fixin to whack Tony and Meadow, a girl whose name I just can not deal with. I mean, seriously, WTF?

    Elizabeth at 9:25 PM


    Monday, October 02, 2006


    I am so very tired. My house is a fucking wreck and if you have read even 3 sentences of this stupid ass blog, you know that shit ain't cool with me. But I'm tired. Not sure which of those things will win out - the hatred of the mess or the fatigue.

    Nothing new on the Pops update except stuff I don't wanna talk about and oh, I will be opening up a can of whoop ass on my step-mom tonight.

    Did I mention I'm tired?

    I did?

    Oh, ok then. Later.

    Elizabeth at 6:06 PM