Sadness

The tiny FIL that I heart very much is not doing well. The hospice nurse pretty much said it could be any day. Please keep the fam in your prayers - particularly my husband who lost his sister six months back. This is all bit much for him.

PS - yes I have shown this picture before but I love it. It's Mr. Vincent being mothered to the nth degree by all his sisters - AKA the hens. I still think it is cute as hell.

Elizabeth at 3:11 PM

15comments

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Weekend update and other crap

I am beyond pissed that Desperate Housewives is a fucking repeat. I look forward to very little in the way of tv viewing so to rush back from bringing dinner to His Highness only to find a repeat really chaps my ass.
Weekend was quiet. Friday I relaxed really. Did some work during the day and chilled out that evening. I sometimes have Fridays in their entirety to myself and this was one of those days. Not that I do anything all that exciting, but it's nice to just veg and not have to speak if I choose not to. Saturday I got up and took the Pooper on a walk as part of a deal I made to myself that if I did a certain amount of exercise in the few days prior to Saturday, I would go to lunch with the husband and his brother in law and eat whatever the hell I wanted. So I walked, showered and got ready then met them for lunch. The husband was on duty so our lunch choices were rather limited since he can only take the fire truck so far. There is a steakhouse nearby that has the bestest yeast rolls in the whole damn world and I am not shitting you when I say I can eat six and not even bat an eyelash. Hence, the large ass. But I digress. So we ate a fabulous lunch and I even somewhat restrained myself. One of my main problems is that I mow through food at a speed that seems like I live in fear of others stealing my food. Then, by the time I start feeling full, the damage is done because I have gone well past the comfortable full and into "I don't want to move off the couch EVER" full. I did not do this at lunch. Go me. After lunch, I came home and worked. I also watched the last 1/3 of my fence NOT getting done. This is beyond chapping my fucking ass and I just now permanently walk around with a permanent case of red ass. It's ridiculous how long they are taking on this. Um, I digress again.
Today I got up and went to go see FIL. He was apparently talking out his head and that concerned me because my first thought was that the cancer had gotten into his brain. However, the hospice nurse called while I was there and she advised that he probably needed to be hooked up to his oxygen tank full time since he is most likely experiencing lack of oxygen to his brain. Poor darlin. So he is all masked up. Other than that and being so skinny that it frightens me, he is well. All things considering. After coming home, I worked some more and watched the movie "Birth" on satellite. Not a very well known flick of Nicole Kidman's but basically it is a movie where she is widowed ten years ago and this young boy comes to her claiming to be her reincarnated husband. It was slow and not as spooky as it looked when it originally came out but it was not awful. I give it 6 out of 10.
The big news is that I am down yet another pound. My husband is not losing any weight at all but his sugar is under control which is major important because I am not prepared to be single again. No thanks. Anyways, that makes a total of 9.5 lbs down for me. I am beginning to see it in clothes too. And the best part. The giant rack is shrinking. Not a lot but shrinking nonetheless. Please - before any of you smaller chested women flip out on me about wanting smaller boobages, try walking around with DD's for a week and see how your back feels. I am used to a C cup. I will be thrilled to get back to that and not have this shelf under my chin.

Elizabeth at 9:12 PM

12comments

Book #4 - A Million Little Pieces

OK, we all know the post-Oprah stories. I even lifted my self imposed Oprah moratorium (is that spelled right?) to watch James Frey, author of this book, try to squirm his way out of lying his ass off in his so-called memoir. Being that I was a good 2/3 of the way through this book, I finished it anyways.

I got the book from my MIL who decided that instead of reading it herself, she would assign it to me because clearly I don't have enough shit to do. Mmmmmkay. Anyways, it was interesting how I never once questioned any of the shit in there until all the lies got blasted onto national television. I just took the book for what it was - his path from extreme addiction of drugs and alcohol to a road to recovery. Being that I know a total of one person who ever did drugs (and by drugs, I mean something other than weed), I have absolutely no experience with someone in recovery. Therefore, none of the fantastical stories in this book ever rang untrue for me.

I think despite this dipshit lying about some very key parts of the story in order to make it a better drama (that's called a novel, James) I have to admit I liked the book. It took me a while to read it because I would only read so many pages at a time. It was a lot to take in so for me to sit and read it for hours just was not going to happen. That being said, my recommendation is to borrow this book from a friend or wait for it to hit the libraries. I would hate for this dickhead to get one more penny from book sales. Sadly, he will probably continue to do well because of people's insane fascination with scandal.

Elizabeth at 5:51 PM

Saturday, January 28, 2006

T minus 8 days

Yeah, buddy!!!!!

Elizabeth at 9:12 PM

Friday, January 27, 2006

What a fucking surprise

Eight Katrina evacuees arrested in violent crime spree in Houston

Or maybe not such a surprise. I feel for ya, Houston. I'm sure you are THRILLED that you opened your doors and hearts to the lovely citizens of New Orleans.

If you want to read the rest of the story, go to www.wwltv.com.

Elizabeth at 9:55 PM

2comments

Stalkers among us

Let me paint the picture. We bought this house at the end of June, 2005. We looked at the house on June 4 and closed on the 30th. It was quite the whirlwind. At the closing and several times prior to that, it was abundantly clear that the wife in this family did not wish to sell her home. She had remodeled parts of it and it was finally the way she wished to have it. It made me sad to see her so despondent on a day that my husband and I were elated, but as the husband so logically pointed out, not really our problem is it?

Well, after they supposedly "moved to Houston" we saw their car at our next door neighbor's house repeatedly. Mmmmmkay. And yet no one says a word. We saw our neighbors on many occasions and they never uttered a word. Ok whatever. At some point the supposed visits stopped. Then the hurricane came and of course the entire neighborhood scattered. During this time, I know of only two men one street over that stayed behind (that were not emergency services personnel) and from what I understand, these two men took it upon themselves to patrol our little hood with guns just in case the looting happened to get a little too close to home. Have no clue who those two dudes were, but thanks.

Anyways, I have a point. All these things are linked. I get a call a few weeks back. It is clearly a cell number, but not one I recognized. I chose to answer. It is Shannon, the woman we bought the house from. I was a little surprised to hear from her. She explained that she got our number from the next door neighbor (the same one she visited repeatedly after supposedly moving to Houston) because somehow due to some goofup in the postal system, a piece of our mail ended up getting forwarded to them. She told me that it just looked like an advertisement from Verizon so I thanked her for calling and if she did not mind, to please just trash the mail. We continued the conversation and she asked how we made out for the hurricane (a question I have answered about 500 million times so I have the answer down pat - or so one would think). I told her about the roof, the fence and the siding in the front. Then she tells me "Oh, that's odd because I heard from someone and I can't recall right now who that you had water damage inside one room." Actually yes, we did but the damage was so minute and miniscule that I forgot all about it. HOWEVER, why did she know about this and if she did know what damage we had, why fucking ask? To which, I repled, "Yes, as a matter of fact, we did have that damage and it was very minor." That sorta rang a bell in my head like "Why exactly are you keeping tabs on us?" but I tried to let it go. Then red flag #2 went off when she proceeded to tell me how she came to town before the Parish was even open and came to our neighborhood. She goes "Yeah, I walked through everyone's backyards and took a look around." Um, I'm sorry - what??? I just said "Oh yeah?" and let it go. Seriously, I was kinda horrified. One, this is no longer your property. And two, what if the dudes from one street over had come upon you and shot your ass thinking you are looting? I mean, lady, let it go. This is not your house anymore. This is not your street anymore. You bought a house in Houston. Go decorate it, for Christ's sake. It might sound like I am making a mountain out of a molehill (as I do have the tendency to do that) but seriously all these things added up are odd.

Let's fast forward to today. The last 1/3 of my fence in the backyard is being fixed. Can we get a hallelujah on that one? Anyways, it's all torn apart and the Gager has to once again go outside to do his business while on a leash with me standing 3 feet from him. Therefore it takes forever and he turns his back to me. It's kicks really. But I digress. So I am back there today strolling around until His Highness decides to let loose with number 1 or number 2. I hear this noise coming from the side of the house. So me and Gage walk over to the side of the yard and I see people on the other side of the fence like in between my house and the neighbor's house. I look through the slats in the fence (that side has been completed) and who do I see? Yep, the stalkers again. WHAT THE FUCK? So, I implore Gage to please do whatever bodily function needed to be done so we could hightail it to the front yard PRON-FUCKING-TO. Amazingly the stars aligned and he did. I walk up here and sure enough they are now standing in front of my neighbors' house having a little pow wow with said neighbors. Um, OK? So they are back again - no biggie, right? OK, maybe so, but they are currently wandering around my and the other next door neighbors back yards (since the God Damned FENCE is still not done) like this is still their property. I am a nice girl. I can even be downright kind sometimes. Shut up. But this is just bugging me. I almost feel like I should pee all along the border of our property to mark my turf. Am I being unreasonable? Scratch that. Only comment if you are on my side and feel like I am totally justified in my wanting to go out and tape the deed to the house on the front door.

Elizabeth at 6:49 PM

Stuff Portrait Friday

According to Kristine over at Random and Odd, our assignment for this week was the following:

Our toys
Our secret
Our eyes

So here goes.

My toys. I managed to find all three kitties in one spot without fur being ripped out and screeching sounds. I don't want to hear one joke about how I like to "play with pussies" either. Y'all are just sick.

My secret. There is a part of me way deep down that I don't let come out very often that has very Martha Stewart-esque type of quality about it. I would love to have the means and skill to really do my home in any manner that I like. However, let's get back to reality. I do the best with what I have though. PS - this is NOT my bedroom.

My eyes. Probably one of my better features. However, please look slightly north and witness the fivehead. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. It's too big to be a forehead, therefore, it's a fivehead. Luckily my husband has like a twohead so our kids have a shot at normalcy.

Did y'all play?

Elizabeth at 1:47 PM

25comments

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Frapper map

I put a map over on the right (well, now it's on the bottom - I hate blogger). Please add your location to it so I can keep straight who lives where. :)

Elizabeth at 2:21 PM

Comfy pup

This is the only reason that we don't charge this dog rent. He allows us to do pretty much whatever to him.

Elizabeth at 2:09 PM

He is such an asshole

Bush can not answer a question straight to save his damn life.

Reporter Question: The administration has rejected a local plan to rebuild New Orleans and your administrator down there Don Powell said that the focus for federal money should be to rebuild for those 20,000 homeowners who are outside the flood plain. Critics, local officials say that ignores so many people in New Orleans -- the poorest of the poor, the hardest-hit areas, people who didn't have flood insurance and didn't expect the levees to break. They feel, sir, that this is a certain betrayal of your promise that New Orleans would rise again. So, why did you reject it and do you think the people of New Orleans have to expect that there is a limit to which the city can be rebuilt?

President George W. Bush's Response:

"Congress has appropriated $85 billion to rebuild the Gulf Coast. And that is a good start, it's a strong start. It's a significant committment to the people who's lives were turned upside down by that hurricane.

Secondly, we have said that we look forward to a time when each state has developed its recovery plan. Early on in the process we said it's important for Miss. to come forward with a state recovery plan.

It's important for New Orleans and the state of Louisiana to work together to develop a state recovery plan. And, the reason I said that, is because I was aware that folks in Congress will want to spend money based upon a specific strategy. We have to get comfortable with how to proceed.

The plan for Louisiana hasn't come forward yet. And I urge the officials -- both state and city -- to work together so we can get a sense for -- how they're going to proceed.

Having said that, I recognize that there were some early things we needed to do to instill confidence.

One of them was to say that we would make the levees stronger and better than before and study further strengthening of the levees.

I recognize that people needed to be able to say, 'Well gosh, we can't even get started until we got a committment from the federal government on the levees.'

Alot of the money we're spending is prescribed by law. But we also went a step further and prosposed to Congress -- and they accepted -- CBG (Community Block Grants) money so the monies can go directly to individual families that need help.

We'll continue to work with the folks down there. But I want to remind people in that part of the world that $85 billion is a lot.

And secondly, we were concerned about creating additional federal bureaucracies which might make it harder to get money to the people."

Elizabeth at 1:43 PM

1comments

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

This is pretty damn funny

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Southern Fried Girl!

The most dangerous form of Southern Fried Girl is the bicycle.
If you lace Southern Fried Girl from the inside to the outside, the fit will be snugger around your big toe!
The international dialling code for Southern Fried Girl is 672!
Southern Fried Girl can clean her ears with her tongue, which is over thirty-nine inches long.
Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than Southern Fried Girl.
In Ancient Egypt, people wore glittery eyeshadow made from the crushed shells of Southern Fried Girl!
The Church of Scientology was founded in 1953, at Washington D.C., by Southern Fried Girl!
Some people in Malaysia bathe their babies in beer to protect them from Southern Fried Girl.
You would have to dig through four thousand kilometres of Southern Fried Girl to reach the earth's core.
American Airlines saved forty thousand dollars a year by eliminating Southern Fried Girl from each salad served in first class.

Elizabeth at 11:56 PM

Survey stolen from Flutter

Survey...

What time did you get up this morning? around 8 AM

Diamonds or pearls? Used to be pearls but since I got my engagement and wedding rings, I love diamonds

What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Rumor Has It - just saw it today with the Momenator.

What is your favorite TV show? DH and Grey's Anatomy

What do you usually have for breakfast? Honey Nut Cheerios and toast

What is your middle name? Ann

Favorite food? Pizza

What foods do you dislike? Brussel sprout - they literally make me gag

What is your favorite chip flavor? regular chips - don't need sour cream and onion or any of that crap

What is your favorite CD at the moment? that's tough - the iPod has sorta spurled me

What is your favorite sandwich? Italian sub from Quiznos

What characteristic do you despise? judgmental

Favorite item or outfit? Currently have no favorite outfit. Favorite item is probably the computer. Sad, I know

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Maui

What color is your bathroom? Blue and white

Favorite brand of clothing? I am so not a label whore. I could not care less.

Where would you retire to? Not sure really. Just want to make sure we can actually do it one day

Favorite sport to watch? Steelers football

Furthest place you are sending this? I have no clue

Goal you have for yourself? Stop being such a couch potato and start taking care of myself. I am on my way. :)

Long-term: Be a good mama to my chittlins

Who do you least expect to do this? No one

Person you expect to do this first? Not sure but I am sure Kami will be first to comment. :)

When is your birthday? August 31

Favorite flowers? Tulips

Are you a morning person or a night person? it used to be night all the way but nowadays, it varies from day to day

What did you want to be when you were little? A Lawyer - up until my last year of college. Thank goodness I changed my mind.

How are you today? Pretty good - had a nice day.

What is a date on our calendar you are looking forward to? Not sure of the specific date but I wish to be done with what I am currently working on so that I can make some more money.

Oh and I tag anyone who wants to do this...if you do it let me know and I will come and check it out!

Elizabeth at 9:44 PM

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Conflicts in my wee brain

OK, so we all know I had a fabu weekend due to the Steelers winning, right? So now I wait two weeks for them to go play Seattle in Detroit. I am confident but I am not one of those people that truly believes something is destined to happen just because I say it's going to. Case in point, that God awful game against Indy where my boys went out to a nice lead and almost pissed it away in the last five damn minutes. I learned a valuable lesson there - don't get happy til the clock is on 00:00.

Anyways, some friends were going to have a Superbowl party. They were here Saturday to just sorta hang out because since we got back from vaca, we have not seen them much despite them living one street away here in the hood. So they are coming over at like 5:30 or 6 this past Saturday. We were cooking out so we were waiting on them to eat. They did not get here until almost 7. Mmmmmkay. They were grocery shopping and called earlier on to let us know they did not forget about us but they just had to put groceries up and they would be over. That took a total of 40 minutes. Not sure what they bought but damn, had to be a lot. So they finally get here and from the damn get go, the husband starts in on how the Steelers were going to lose the next day against Denver. Let me explain. This guy is not a Denver fan that I know about. He says shit like that just to be ugly. It's apparently part of his charm that I am just not getting. Ok then. I basically said "Not gonna happen." He could not let it go at that so I finally called him on it. But not before telling him what a bitch ass ho his team looked like (Indy) during the press conference (namely Peyton Manning) blaming everyone but themselves for their loss. I don't tend to rag on a team that I know someone likes because I know how that makes me feel. I mean when the Steelers got blasted last year by New England, I was bummed but happy for my boss at the time because he was a huge fan. It's called being a fucking grown up, people. Let's look it up shall we?

Anyways, he also made this lovely comment that he was GOING to have a Superbowl party but now is not so sure because he does not want to hear my mouth. Oh yeah, you read that right. He is in MY house eating MY food and says that shit. Once again, part of the charm apparently. That was supposed to be amusing. Um, ok. So now the thing is that we have no idea if they are having a party or not. To be brutally honest, I would rather not go. If he is not going to allow me to enjoy a day I have waited for and basically piss all over any enjoyment I might have, I would rather stay here. I will be tense enough. I'll be excited but I tend to get stomach aches and headaches during big games like this. I don't need this dude shitting all over me on top of all that.

My question is how to handle this? He is one of my husband's closest friends. Truth be told, they have done a lot of wonderful things for us, but this one thing is really an issue for me. Trust me, if we don't go over, it will be an issue. I have no problem saying that we are staying here but I don't want my husband to lose a friend that he works with. That's not really fair - especially since the husband does not have a problem with how this dude is. I don't know. If y'all have any advice, it is welcome. Very very welcome.

Elizabeth at 10:42 AM

12comments

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Now look how damn cute

Elizabeth at 11:15 PM

13comments

Here we go...........

Oh man, I am beyond psyched. I knew that we could beat Denver but as last week's game showed, you can't just assume shit, ya know?

I have been a Steelers fan for pretty much my whole life. My family was born and raised in the Steel City. I went to college there. Even though I was born and raised in California, I truly consider my hometown to be Da Burgh. I love everything about that place (except the whole digging my car out of the snow every blessed day - that sucked donkey dick). I love the Steelers franchise. I think from the ownership on down, they show a lot of class. I think they show a lot of stability. I think they show their players that if you give us your best, we won't dump you when you have an off season. They have definitely shown that of their coaching staff. In a world where when a team has a shitty season or two, the owners tend to clean house, that says a lot. I am the walking talking definition of "proud to be a Steelers fan." I love them when they win and I am bummed with them when the lose. I am not, nor ever have been, a fair weather fan. I don't see the point in that.

I am incredibly happy that one of my all time favorite players, Jerome Bettis, will have a chance to get the ring he so rightly deserves. His place in Canton is assured but this one thing has eluded him in his career. I want him to go out holding the Lombardi trophy. That.....THAT will make my damn day.

Here we go.................Steelers................here we go..........

PITTSBURGH'S GOIN' TO THE SUPER BOWL.....HERE WE GO!!!!

Elizabeth at 7:26 PM

Not one to jinx myself but.....

That's all I got to say about THAT. Happy Half Time!

Elizabeth at 4:26 PM

Again.....cautiously optimistic

I'm hoping for the best because I would love to see my boys in the big game.

More on that later.

Have a wonderful Sunday!

Elizabeth at 8:08 AM

2comments

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Happy Birthday to Tammy!!!!!

For those of you sad ass souls who do not know the glory that is the Ranter and Raver herself, Tammy, take a stroll on over to her blog and wish her a very happy 20-10 birthday.

And she is not thrilled with the 20-10, so if you are 20-10+ yourself, remind her of all the fabulous things about being out of the 20's.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAMMY!!!!!!!!!

Elizabeth at 11:48 PM

Stuff Portrait Friday - We got off easy

Kristine gave us a break today and let us take incredibly easy pictures. Assume you have a semi-normal bathroom: your lotion, your towels, and your toothbrush. So here goes.

These are my lotions. I have the Vaseline Intensive Care when I am going for a non-Bath and Body works type of scent. The others are all B&BW so I have the body sprays to accompany them. I am a B&BW slut.

My towels. I love my towels. These are the "touch them and you die" towels. Luckily the husband read the rule book.

The "do not touch" hand towel.

My lovely toothbrush that I dutifully replace every six months. I am very serious about dental care. I am such a fucking geek that way.

That's it for me. Didja play? Didja? Huh? HUH?

Elizabeth at 9:43 PM

22comments

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Attention whore

I am dutifully working when I feel tap tap tap on my incredibly thin thigh. (It's up to you to decide what part of that sentence is bullshit.) I look down and this is what I see.

Elizabeth at 3:56 PM

10comments

Headline in USA Today

"For a small state, Louisiana has a lot of crooks."

That pretty much says it all, no?

Elizabeth at 3:38 PM

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

She just slays me

On top of the cabinets in my garage.

"Mama, had you not brought all these other animals into the house, I would not be forced to do such things."

Elizabeth at 6:25 PM

My definition of round

Elizabeth at 6:23 PM

6comments

Sunset

We had a very icky day of rain but this is outside my house right this instant. How beautiful.

Elizabeth at 6:20 PM

Monday, January 16, 2006

Stolen from Lushy

25 questions that no one would EVER think to ask.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought? Why does my hair do that in the morning?

2. How much cash do you have on you? Maybe 3 bucks. I never have cash.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with “TEST” (not last person’s answer!): Pest.

4. planet? Uranus. My favorite

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list: The husband. I never talk to anyone else.

6. What is your favorite ring on your phone? I hate them all. I need to download some cool songs or something.

7. What shirt are you wearing? Green Fudpuckers tshirt from Destin

8. What do you label yourself? I don't think I do label myself.

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're recently wearing? No clue - some sort of flip flop deals from Target. Yep, it's that warm.

10. Bright or Dark Room? Bright. I like lots of natural light.

11. What were you doing at midnight last night? Probably asleep.

12. What did your last text message you received on your cell say? No clue. Probably something from the husband about a picture of one of the pets I sent him.

13. Where is your nearest 7-11? We don't have those here. We have Danny & Clydes. It is right up the road.

14. What's a saying that you say a lot? Are you fucking kidding me???

15.Who told you they loved you last? The husbando.

16. Last furry thing you touched? Gage, the pooper

17. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past three Days? tons of sinus meds and ibuprofen - I hate sinus headaches. Fucking weather.

18. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? None.

19. Favorite age you have been so far? high school probably. At the time of course I thought it was a nightmare. Now I realize that life was a fuckin bowl of cherries

20. your worst enemy? If I am in a shitty mood, myself. If not, then probably the designers of the world that think that anyone who is not a size 6 must not have a waist.

21. What is your current desktop picture? A sunset

22. What was the last thing you said to someone? Hi puppy!!! to the dog - clearly

23. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you choose? Duh - million bucks. Gimme a break.

24. Do you like someone? Like as in LIKE? Well being that I am married, I would have to say the husband. However, lots of hot stars on the Golden Globes currently have my attention.

25. The last song you listened to? Some Depeche Mode song in the car. The CD is in the changer. I rarely listen to the radio anymore.

Elizabeth at 9:26 PM

Book 3 - Can You Keep a Secret?

This book by Sophie Kinsella was a very easy read and I devoured it in about a day and a half. I am a sucker for those really light stories generally referred to as "chick lit." Most of them are pretty damn funny. True, they do tend to be the same sort of story line and are not all that creative. If you just want a nice escape though and don't really feel like having to worry about character development, I highly recommend these types of books. I don't always want to have to dissect stuff, ya know?

Elizabeth at 12:01 PM

My head still hurts

That game yesterday just took it all out of me. As initially reported, I was cautiously optimistic. I knew that this was not the same team that played Indy in late November. Ben was back at 100% and we had no key injuries really to speak of. However, when they ran down the field like NOBODY'S BUSINESS and scored in their opening drive, I was like "That's what I'm talking about." I won't rehash the whole game but this is one of the first games in which I have seen Peyton just not get it. Sportscasters and fans talk about this dude like he is some football deity. He is human people. When he has no coverage and no time to stay in the pocket and make sound decisions, shit ain't gonna go well. However, I do have to say that his comments in the press conference after the game were shitty at best. Terry Bradshaw (one of the few men I would leave the husband for - and the only bald one) took Peyton to task and admonished him ON THE AIR about the comments he made. There's no I in team, Peyton. Get over yourself.

Also, that fucking call on Polamalu's interception. If his knee hit the ground before he tried to take off running with it, fine. BUT, that means he was down. The interception was still good. This fucknut (Porelli - the official) took the whole play back. I was so fucking pissed. They basically handed the fucking game back to Indy. Like "Here is a present - don't fuck it up." Thank God they did. And my boy. My sweet boy, Bettis, just about lost the game for us. I was just at a loss for words. I could not sit. I just stood there sorta changing my weight from foot to foot willing the time on the clock to go down to zero. I was a damn wreck, I swear. I think they are all trying to give my ulcers. As indicated above, my head is still aching from the screaming probably. I don't know why I do this to myself.

Wait yes I do. I love me some football. Can't wait until next weekend. I'll just have a puke bucket at the ready.

Elizabeth at 10:31 AM

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Cautiously optimistic

I know Indy is a great team but I am hopeful we can pull it out. I'll be wearing the lucky pants and praying. :)

Elizabeth at 10:29 AM

11comments

Friday, January 13, 2006

New poll

There is a new poll to the left. Please respond and comment if you like. Lurkers and non-lurkers!!! :)

Elizabeth at 11:46 PM

2comments

The case for girlfriends

I want for very little in my life. I am a pretty lucky girl and have most of what people find necessary to sustain an existence. However, somehow in the last 32 years or so, I seem to have lost touch with most of my girlfriends. I still have my absolute best friend, Wendy, from high school. She still lives in CA but we keep in touch via email and the phone and see one another once in a blue moon. However, close friends that you can call and say come over or better yet, just have them drop by, don't exist for me. I have spent some time trying to figure out why that is.

Mistake number one is that I tend to make friends at work. Then, when I leave that job, I will make the effort to keep in touch with a chosen few girls but eventually that falls by the way side. The exceptions to that are very few. The husband and I are having dinner tomorrow night with two of my girlfriends from back when I waited tables at Ruth's Chris (which is now gone thanks to the whore Katrina) and their husbands. I know it will be a blast. However, after tomorrow night, I will go months without seeing them - especially now that one of the girls, Cher, moved her ass to Houston. My point is that eventually life seems to get in the way on both sides and we don't stay close. Even though at some point I really considered these girls my true friends and not just work acquaintances. Same thing at the law firm I just left. I miss those girls. I have tried to keep in touch via email and I have tried for us to get together to do a girl's night but with very little exception (the occasional email) those relationships are fading as well. This makes me sad.

I am very hard to approach too. I find myself being very standoffish. I think that my insecurity comes across as "don't bug me." I am so not like that. Well, ok, sometimes I am totally like that, but not usually. I am very afraid of being rejected by someone that I sort of encase myself in an emotional armor that is hard to penetrate. I don't let people in very easily at all. I'm sure this comes across to other women. I'm not sure how I come across on here but there are a lot of layers that I don't let other people see very often - if at all. Maybe others view my distance as lack of interest. I'm not sure that is likely to change though. My insecurity is deep seeded.

Basically I miss having girlfriends. Truth be told, I have not had close girlfriends (the sort I am describing - drop by the house unannounced, stay for din, whatever) since high school. Hi, I'm 32. I have had friends but not that type. Not the type I clearly need. I would love to meet a cool funny girl here in the hood that I can hang with but that has yet to happen. I'm not sure where I am going with this post but I just want to toss my request out into the big universe. I am tired of spending the evenings that the husband is working doing my toes, watching The Wedding Planner and eating Honey Nut Cheerios for dinner. I would love to be hanging out, drinking a great margarita with a funny person that I can bitch about my husband too. And she would understand because her husband is just as much of a dipshit. (They all are - admit it.) At this point, I would even settle for a great gay guy friend. Whatever. I'm not picky. Beggars can't be choosers.

Elizabeth at 10:44 PM

11comments

Tagged by Tammy

Tammy of Rant & Raven Haven (she is a funny funny girl who has no patience like me - lubs her) tagged me into doing this deal. Let's see if I come up with anything.

1. Hum a jingle of which you know all the words.

Not sure how to hum this so I'll just give the words.

Myyyyyyyyyyyyyy bologna has a first name. It's O-S-C-A-R. My bologna has a second name. It's M-A-Y-E-R. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, I love to eat it every day and if you'll ask me, why I'll saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A.

2. As a kid, you played a board game over and over. And you cheated you little bastard. What was the game?

Clue. My sister so did not understand the rules so I would just always go "Oh, I won." I was such a little shrew.

3. What is the name of the song that you have been singing the incorrect words all these years? What were you singing? What should you have been singing?

I don't think I've done that. However, in high school, a friend Tricia was all impressed because she thought my name was in a song. So I am intrigued and ask what song. She proceeds to sing it - "Oh, Elizabeth, why do I feel this way??? Why does she stay on my mind?" Wendy and I about pissed ourselves laughing. I think the song was by New Edition and the part she thought went "Oh, Elizabeth" actually went "If it isn't love..." That shit still makes me laugh.

Shut up, it's funny.

4. What is the most embarrassing childhood story that your parents drag out just to fuck with you for their own private amusement.

Probably the time that I had no fucking clue what fondue was. When my step mother informed me that I would be cooking my own meat, I was like "I think not." I was all of 8 or so. I just felt very stupid once I realized it. That was actually on my birthday so after the debacle with the fondue, I got to blow out trick candles. The whole evening kinda pissed me off. I felt very picked on. And I hate that story.

I am tagging anyone and everyone. Have at it, bitches.

Elizabeth at 5:01 PM

SPF - Friday the 13th

According to Kristine over at Random and Odd, today's theme is Friday the 13th. Fitting I think. What a clever girl. :)

This scares the ever lovin' crap outta me. I hate me some bugs. And on what level of hell (also known as the South) do cockroaches FLY? They fly people. As in airborne. As in right into your damn face. Seriously, scares the shit out of me. Can't bite. Don't sting. I DON'T CARE.

My lucky charm used to be my Steelers socks but once I wore them for both the Jax game and then Indy and my boys got stomped on, I began to rethink my strategy. So now these are the clothes I don on ever game day. So far, my record is stellar. Y'all know I'll be sporting these Sunday, right? :)

This is about as Friday the 13th I could get. The black cat is Minew, my big Bubber who died about two years ago. I know black kitties are supposed to be bad luck but he brought me nothin' but the love.

Did y'all play?????

Elizabeth at 10:30 AM

16comments

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Stolen from Pissy

If y'all live under a damn rock and don't read Pissy Britches blog, y'all are missing the fuck out. That being said, here goes.....

4 Jobs Pissy Had

Paralegal
Receptionist
Waited tables at both Applebees and Ruth's Chris Steak house - what I learned - money does not buy class
Cashier at convenience store on midnight shift

4 Places I Have Lived

Marrero, LA
San Dimas, CA
Pittsburgh, PA
Covina, CA

4 TV Shows I HEART

Desperate Housewives
Grey's Anatomy
Wife Swap - that show is a train wreck - ya gotta watch it
The Bachelor - shut up, I know

4 Places I Have Been On Vacation

Destin, FL
Phoenix, AZ
Oahu, HI
My bed - trust me, more often than not, I'd just as soon go there

4 Web Sites I visit daily - yeah, cause I only visit FOUR

Any and all of the blogs on my blog roll and that I have saved in my Favorites
My bank's website to check and see if what cleared
Amazon
Target

4 Favorite Foods

Mexican - specifically enchiladas
Pizza
Fat Free Pringles chips - they are like crack
Steelers.com

4 Places I Would Rather Be Right Now

On any beach under gorgeous sun with a nice breeze off the water reading a book that is pure trash.
Target
Laying down on the sofa
Backyard chilling with a cold drink and a book

4 People I do NOT heart

The husband's ex
Anyone that harms animals just for shits and giggles
Trolls that leave shitty comments on other's blogs - just move on, shithead
Pat Robertson

Please feel free to steal if you would like. Just let me know so I can come read all about your business. :)

Elizabeth at 4:52 PM

6comments

The abuse - it has to end

Elizabeth at 4:40 PM

Sad news

I have not written about this until now because frankly I have been trying not to think about it. While we were away, we got a call from MIL that FIL was back in the hospital. Great. Good news. He was dehydrated from tossing his cookies and needed fluids so he was admitted in the last couple of days we were gone. We get home and go see him and all looks ok. His color is good. Spirits were good. Once he could eat and poop normally, he could go home. Well, they ran tests while he was admitted and it seems that the tumor hickey thing he had cut off right before we left was just the tip of the cancer iceburg. To make a long story short, the mess was all through his abdomen. The only thing left to do was send him home with hospice care. We got THIS call while sitting in a movie theater this past Friday night. (Before you get all crazy, the phone was on vibrate but I still heard it.) So that's the deal. Cutie McCute is at home now just waiting to die basically. I mean, isn't that what this is? We wanted him to come here and stay with us but he would not do it. Always thinks he is putting us out. I was even willing to deal with the MIL under my roof once again during this time which should be testament to the fact of how bad I would rather he stay here. I mean, the hospital bed and all his equipment are in a FEMA trailer for God's sake. For those of you not in the know of just how not roomy a FEMA trailer is, pick your nose and flick that booger. See how far that went? Yeah, that's about how wide they are. Now fart and walk away. See how far you went to escape the smell? That's about how long they are. But that is where they are - monitoring their home being rebuilt.

Several things about this anger me. I know that is a shocker but just for shits and giggles, let's go over them. You do not live for 65 years, work most of those years as a tug captain on the river leaving your family for two weeks at a time missing out on birthdays, first days of school, etc in order to pay the bills for said family only to die in a trailer. I'm sorry, you just DON'T. There is no way in hell that house will be done before his health fails him. So that means - and stay with me here - that MIL will have the happy occasion of moving back into her home without the man who paid for all that shit. A bit of background - that land that the house sits on came from Husband's mother. She passed away 13 years ago and from what I have heard of her, she would shit twice down MIL's neck before she let her live on her land. So basically MIL is now copping a squat on something that came from Miss Ora's family. Trust me, this is the shit that makes small towns go nuts. She left this land to FIL, husband's sister who just passed and husband. PERIOD. It angers me that now not one Alexie will live on or enjoy the fruits of that land. I know it sounds like I don't like or love my MIL but that's not true. She drives me - that is true, but I love her. I don't understand much of what she does but that is neither here nor there.

Another thing that fires me the fuck up is that this man has been in pain for years. Was it not fucking clear to all involved that perhaps there is a bigger problem at hand than FIL can't poop? HUH??? HUH??? I mean, I have no medical degree on my wall, but fuck people, this ain't rocket science. It angers me that she watched him deteriorate. Because he is a stubborn mule (and that is about the closest I will ever get to ragging on FIL) she allowed him to just go on. FUCK THAT. I already told my husband he can forget about me playing the part of the ever obedient wife and letting him just wither away just because he does not want to go to a doctor. I will drag his big ass there myself and I don't give a fuck if he hates me for it. Whatever. Hate I can deal with. Being a widow - not so much.

I'm angry at my husband and me because we should have done the dirty work if MIL was not going to do it. We should have stepped in months ago and said "Look, you old fart, we are taking you to get whatever scans are necessary in order to find out why you have no appetite, are in constant pain and feel overall like shit on a stick." We did not do it. I guess neither of us wanted to deal with the onslaught of shit from MIL and FIL. Would any of that have made a difference? Would they have caught the cancer sooner and been able to treat it? I have no clue. All my reasons for being angry may have not made an ounce of difference but we will never know now, huh? I hate when things are not clear. I hate it.

What I know for sure is that I really love this little Flip. Love love love him. He is cute, ornery, perverted in a cute way that only a little old man can be, and loves his family. Really loves them. So now we wait. Like Grim Reapers, we wait. I imagine he will have good days and bad. I only hope that we remember the good stuff.

Elizabeth at 10:07 AM

14comments

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Really, are we shocked by this?

Not sure why but the fact that she is, indeed, pregnant irks me to no end.

Elizabeth at 10:34 AM

19comments

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Book 2 - Mary Mary by James Patterson

I love me some James. I wait for his books to come out like a crack ho waiting on a hit. If you are the one of three people who have never read his books, I recommend you jump into the century and test drive one. Run, don't walk to the library and get you some good suspense. My advice is to begin with any and all of the Alex Cross books, but really any of his books are fantastic. Once again, I won't ruin who this book turns out or go over the twists and turns but suffice it to say I read it in about a day and a half. Go snatch it up.

On a different note, apparently this is the week that y'all are supposed to come out of hiding and say hi. So any lurkers who read and never comment, come say hello. Please leave a name and don't do the chicken shit Anon thing. I hate that. :)

Elizabeth at 10:34 AM

16comments

Observations from afar

I am not sure what the hell is going on but three people that I read fairly religiously had their feelings hurt by other people. I don't know details or who said what or did what but I think that sucks. Kristine over at Random and Odd has decided to auction off key portions of her marriage ceremony to the highest bidder on ebay. My first reaction to that was "hmmmm, not sure I could do that (I am a tad bit of a control freak) but hey, whatever it takes to get her the wedding she wants." I kept my opinion to myself. Why? Because I know this is gonna shock y'all, but I can almost bet Kristine does not get up every day and go "Well, fuck, if SFG does not approve of a certain part of my life, I may as well grab a razor and end it all now." I am certain that does not occur. She is a grown woman with children of her own and while you may think you "know" her, we are only given glimpses into her world even though she seems pretty darn candid on her blog. Y'all just don't know. Y'all don't know the intimate details of her life or what she does what she does. So you know what, if you don't like what she does, fine. No biggie. I doubt she will think less of you for that, but why be nasty? Why be a fucktard? As my mama says, "If you ain't got something nice to say, I'll send my daughter over to fuck your world up." Or something like that.

Two other very sweet girls, Nessa and Melanie, got their feelings hurt and I really don't know what the hell happened there. I was pretty much out of the blog world this weekend and missed the whole damn thing. However, again, why be nasty? I don't know what this person or persons did, but clearly it affected both of these girls in a negative way. Once again, I don't know these girls in real life but Nessa freakin offered up her house to me when the hurricane came. Sight unseen people. She was just like "Drive west, bitch. We'll figure out the rest later." Or something like that. I mean, how sweet is that? I could be ANYONE. A serial killer. A flasher. A Republican. Shudder to think, people. Shudder. To. Think. She did not even bat an eyelash. Upon learning that I was staying with family, she still left the door open in case I wanted to be closer to the husband. This is not someone whose feelings I would just stomp on for my own shits and giggles. I am only recently really getting to get a feel for Melanie but fuck, she is funny. That alone makes me heart her because what is better than a sense of humor? I say nada. So here is my advice to you (take it or leave it) why not think before you do whatever it is you did, ok? Behind all the jokes and silly pictures are real people who have feelings that get hurt just like yours do. If you don't like what someone has to say, move on to the next blog. That's all it takes. Take out your aggression on your husband like the rest of us do. I mean really.

Elizabeth at 9:14 AM

Monday, January 09, 2006

The Biggest Loser - at least in my house

Is ME. We weighed in yesterday in the am. Both of us had eaten by mistake but decided to weigh in anyway. We had planned to weigh in right when we get up on Sundays prior to eating and all that. I lost a total of 4.5 pounds. I was psyched but honestly not shocked. I ate so much crap on vacation that I knew my body would get rid of the water weight if I just drank something other than Coke and ate relatively decently. The husband actually gained a half pound. Cry me a river bitch. I mean, better luck next time. LOL

Elizabeth at 3:36 PM

10comments

Fucking media

For those of you that saw the game (Steelers-Bengals) yesterday, y'all know that Carson Palmer is now done playing until at least July. He needs surgery on his ACL and is pretty messed up. Basically Kimo Von Oelhoefen fell on him and when Carson landed he landed just wrong. It was not a DIRTY hit. It just wasn't. Of course, I am a Steelers fan so I was not sad to see Carson go because he is a talented player, right? However, I know that Kimo did not fuck him up. If y'all watched more, you would see that he stuck around after he realized what happened and was concerned for Carson's knee. How many players do that? Um, I am gonna go with NONE. If I see one more headline with "Was it a cheap shot?" I am going to come un-fucking-glued. There are dirty hits all the time (as the next few penalties showed) that go from player to player. I really don't think Kimo fell with the intention of fucking Carson up. I mean, have y'all seen Kimo? He's a big dude. Let him fall on you once or twice and see if you aren't in a tad bit of pain.

On another note, I had to laugh when Troy threw that ball into that Bengals face. It was right after Carson was taken out of the game so the Bengals were still pretty pissed off and both teams were trading penalties right and left. I missed what exactly happened but Troy got PISSED and hummed that football right back at someone.

Anyways, my boys won and I am thrilled. Even if that means that they now have to go to Indy. That could very well be ugly.

Elizabeth at 10:17 AM

Saturday, January 07, 2006

50 Book Challenge 2006

I decided to try this - read 50 books in 2006. I am not counting this one fitness book I actually started on December 30 or something because I am just a stickler for the rules. And dem's da rules.

Anyway, Book One was "S is for Silence" by Sue Grafton. She writes what I call the alphabet series - A is for this, B is for that. She is up to S. When she hits Z, I swear she best start over because I will cry big boo hoo tears. As I have mentioned and y'all may have noticed, I am a tad, shall we say, thrifty. I think $25-$30 for a hardcover book is just sick. I tend to wait for paperback or at least until I can get it for cheaper on Amazon. There are a couple authors for whom I can't wait. Sue Grafton is one of them. She puts out maybe a book a year. KILLING ME. Anyways, she is fabulous and I highly recommend. The books can be read in order but they can just as easily be read out of order. They definitely stand on their own.

This book was about the same character she always writes about, Kinsey Milhone. Kinsey is a private detective who lives a rather solitary existence, but somehow always manages to find the coolest cases on which to work. This one was no different. She was hired by the daughter of a woman who just up and disappeared some thirty-four years earlier. Basically the daughter wants to know if her mom is dead or did just, in fact, take off. I won't spoil the ending for you. This is a book I highly recommend. I can't wait for T is for whatever. She needs to write faster.

Elizabeth at 10:12 PM

Friday, January 06, 2006

The passing of another great

Lou Rawls, one of my most favorite voices ever, passed away. There has never been a time when I did not smile when I heard that distinctive, melodic voice. He will be missed.

Elizabeth at 1:28 PM

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Travel warning

A story I forgot to tell about my trip:

We are in Denver on our lay over on our way to Phoenix. There is a slight delay at first. OK, no big deal. They announce over the speaker deal that they are handling "maintenance issues." Um, ok. Perhaps not the language I would use especially if one does not know if there are nervous fliers on the flight but whatever. So we wait. And wait. And WAIT. They keep bumping it back in 15 minute increments. They let us on the plane finally. Maybe 15-20 people are on there, right? They then tell us to get off the plane because they are still dealing with the aforementioned "maintenance issues" and can not do so with electricity on the plane. So we deboard. With attitudes. OK, maybe that was just me. There we sit. Again. Then, and I promise you, I am not making this shit up or exaggerating in any way. They come over the loud speaker and say, and I fucking quote, "Folks, the flight can leave in blah blah minutes and we will be boarding shortly. They have found the part they needed and are fixing the problem. IT WAS ONE OF THE BOLTS THAT HOLDS ONE OF THE ENGINES UP." OK, once you are done laughing, I'll continue.

Done? OK, great. Please tell me what marketing GENIUS thought up the idea of being honest to passengers about to get on a multi-ton flying apparatus that some how defies the laws of gravity and flings us through the air at hyper-speed about MISSING BOLTS? Let me clue you in, United employees, sometimes ignorance is bliss. Sometimes we really don't wanna know. Sometimes y'all should use those damn brains that clearly are not abundant in your company and think to yourselves "Self, is telling the passengers that are already a tad irate that we found the bolt really a necessary thing?" I'll answer you - NO, SO NOT NECESSARY.

Let's just say this - I sent a NICE email to United.

Elizabeth at 7:59 PM